Girl is upset at me, what to do? :(

[debris]

So I have been seeing this great girl for about a month now, we've been out plenty of times and have been really hitting it off. But to cut to the chase, she's upset at me right now and I'm not really sure what to do..

On Saturday, we went to the gym together, ate lunch, and went sightseeing and had a blast throughout the day. She was then supposed to meet up with her girlfriends for one of their birthdays later that evening to go clubbing.

However that plan fell apart, and I had went home already after dropping her off at her house and knocked out. She called me about an hour into my sleep and woke me up and said that her plans were cancelled and if I wanted to go eat with her and her guy cousin. I really don't remember quite what I said but something along the lines of, "I'm pretty tired and napping right now, you can go eat with him, I'll join you guys next time."

So she went to go eat with him, dropped him off, and then joined up with of her best girlfriends after to grab a drink. Later that night, we talked and she told me that I sounded pretty dick-ish on the phone earlier, and that she felt that I had rejected her and turned her away. She said her friends wanted to meet the guy she was seeing and I had let her down.

That was absolutely not what I wanted to do AT ALL. I tried saying sorry and that I was really tired and was not thinking straight when she called but she said she wouldn't accept my apology at the time (she was a little buzzed when she called and I personally think she was overreacting).

Yesterday, she went out with a guy for drinks and then he took her sightseeing at a top off a hill at nighttime (she posted picture updates on facebook) and I couldn't help but feel jealous and upset, even though we're not exclusive or anything.

Long story short, girl I'm dating is upset at me thinking I rejected her and let her down but that's not what I meant to do at all. How do I go about with this? Try to apologize more and be active in talking to her? Or give her space and try to let her realize she overreacted?

Just being honest, I don't have much relationship experience and haven't dealt much with the other person being upset haha..

[Dan555]

I'd wait a while (not that long, just a few days), and then find some romantic way of saying sorry. Saying sorry is simple, it's just a few words, but your girl has to see the effort in it. . . Something that really says I'm sorry. . .

Of course if you don't feel like the work lol, you should apologize and try to make her see your perspective of the situation. But I don't think that backing off and playing it cool would do it here, she'd just think you're being an asshole.

[debris]

Sounds like great advice
I definitely don't want to come off as an asshole bt ignoring her, but also don't want to be pestering her too much.

I tried to see her in person yesterday night to talk with her but she said she couldn't come out. She texted me good morning today like nothing had happened though..

She has a break in about two hrs, should I try to meet up with her and talk with her?

[Dan555]

If you think you have have a chance of talking with her, then take it. I mean, if you show her that you really didn't mean to offend her, and that if you had known her view you obviously wouldn't have failed to go to that date. It's just a stupid little fight, and it's not the sort of thing that would EVER seperate two people that love each other. You just have let her know that you're sorry, so yeah, meet her in a couple hours and I'm sure she'll forgive you.

[debris]

You're the best thank you for the quick responses! I will try to contact her now and post updates

[Dan555]

Sorry if I'm nosey as hell lol. . . But I fished this out. I don't know if it's the same girl we're talking about here, but that's precious. I mean, you got something really valuable there, so don't let it go. Haha, I'll check in later to see if it worked (bet it does )

Her: my friend told me that there are 5 ways that people express love
Her: 1. volunteer
Her: 2. words
Her: 3. gifts
Her: 4. time
Her: 5.
Me: cereal
Her: wait what was the fifth one
Her: hold up
Her: OH physical
Her: hahaha
Her: which two do you think you are?
Me: hmmm
Her: volunteer is like.. doing things for the other person
Me: definitely time
Her: words are like.. you know "hey bebbbbb you be mighty finnnnnnne"
Me: or some amazing translated korean phrases off of google right?
Me: =]
Her: LOL
Me: i would sayyyyyyyyyy....time and words
Me: putting time aside for a person means a lot and also communication is lovely
Her: mmm
Her: i see i see =]
Me: how about you, how would you describe yourself?
Her: im.. volunteer and time
Her: haha if i like someone i go beyond my ways to make things happen
Her: so i guess that goes for volunteer
Her: right?
Her: lol
Me: yepyep
Me: why do you say only two? =[ I wanted to pick all 5 and be a superstarrrr
Her: HAHAHAHAHA
Me: =]
Her: SUPASTAAAAAa
Her: lol
Her: i think im a dangerous person to be in a relationship...
Me: you pretty much need all 5, thats what i like to believe =]
Her: when i like something
Her: i REALLY like it
Her: lol
Her: yeah of course
Her: but i guess the two are like.. your top 2 out of 5?
Me: yepyep
Me: see thats whats so cool about you missy
Me: your passion
Me: and your smile, you're so happy
Her: hahaha aww thanks! =]

Precious

[debris]

Hahahaha no, entirely different gal there....I haven't been on here in a while. I've been quite out of the loop

I met this girl just under a month ago and she's quite a keeper...just until the other night. Eeeek.

But here's something she texted me while she was at her classes out of nowhere:


"hehe I was bored..." AP are my initials.

Hahah...that put quite a grin on my face

[Dan555]

Haha excuse the mistake lol.

But still, why are you still here on the forums . . . You've got a gal out there waiting for you!

PS (didn't see the edit): That's awesome, no wonder you want her to forgive you. If I was in your position I'd reply to that text with a pic of your hand with her initials on it and a big capital letters FORGIVE ME under it. Nothing says sorry like that .

[debris]

Just got in touch with her, she's busy during her break today and she said to call her later tonight but I got her to meet up with my at a local coffee shop after she gets off work in about 8 hours. I definitely want to talk to her in person and not over phone; at least I didn't get another "I'm busy" excuse...wish me luck later.

Thanks again, Dan

[Dan555]

Good luck

[IncognitoSir]

Yesterday, she went out with a guy for drinks and then he took her sightseeing at a top off a hill at nighttime (she posted picture updates on facebook) and I couldn't help but feel jealous and upset, even though we're not exclusive or anything.

So she makes plans without you, HER plans fall through, SHE gets pissed because you're not available to her after her plans WITHOUT you fall through......and you feel you've done something wrong. She manipulated the fcuk out of you bro and you don't even realize it. THEN she went on a date with another guy to make you jealous, and yes it was a romantic date, friend don't hang out at the top of a hill sit seeing at night time bro. Do you really want her to run over you like this, is that the type of relationship you want? She knows she has you wrapped around her finger too. She's playing mind games with you. She can't have her way, so she got pissed, and in turn went out with some guy to make you jealous. You're not paying attention bro, where is your self respect man?

[debris]

So she makes plans without you, HER plans fall through, SHE gets pissed because you're not available to her after her plans WITHOUT you fall through......and you feel you've done something wrong. She manipulated the fcuk out of you bro and you don't even realize it. THEN she went on a date with another guy to make you jealous, and yes it was a romantic date, friend don't hang out at the top of a hill sit seeing at night time bro. Do you really want her to run over you like this, is that the type of relationship you want? She knows she has you wrapped around her finger too. She's playing mind games with you. She can't have her way, so she got pissed, and in turn went out with some guy to make you jealous. You're not paying attention bro, where is your self respect man?

I know I wasn't at fault here, for the most part. I can see where I was a little wrong though..
But I know I definitely don't want her grabbing me by the balls and being her b****, and apologizing for everything I did wrong.

Should I address her night out yesterday when I meet up with her later tonight to talk? I know she was posting in a way to make me jealous...she had posted a picture of two cocktail drinks with the caption, "His coke and rum plus my mai tai <3 yummm", and then a second picture of the night skyline. Pewwwwwwww....hahah

[debris]

She had told me that she would be hanging out with a school friend beforehand butbI didn't think he would put such a romantic spin on it. The nighy skyline pic she posted on fb really put the icing on top of it for me..

[IncognitoSir]

I know I wasn't at fault here, for the most part. I can see where I was a little wrong though..
But I know I definitely don't want her grabbing me by the balls and being her b****, and apologizing for everything I did wrong.

Should I address her night out yesterday when I meet up with her later tonight to talk? I know she was posting in a way to make me jealous...she had posted a picture of two cocktail drinks with the caption, "His coke and rum plus my mai tai <3 yummm", and then a second picture of the night skyline. Pewwwwwwww....hahah

Still not paying attention bro! YOU WERE NOT EVEN A LIL WRONG. She HAD plans.....without you might I add, she called you while you were sleep trying to get you to come out. How were you wrong in telling her that you were sleep and would catch up with her later??? You guys aren't even exclusive, you bring up the date and that's what she's gonna tell you.....another part of the game. Is this the type of girl you want to deal with? Basically, she's setting you up for a lose lose situation. It's gonna be her way or no way. Either you're ready when she calls for you or she'll just go out with some other guy.

[Dan555]

She's pissed at you. . . That's how girls work. She probably is trying to make you jealous, but don't you think that going to those extremes just to make you jealous makes it clear that you're the man who truly matters in her life?
I'll admit that some women like to manipulate men, but this definitely isn't the case. You matter to her, and that's why she's trying to get your attention. I'd still go and say sorry and reconcile with her, and then you'll she that she isn't trying to just use you. You shouldn't think the worst here, I mean you matter to her it's obvious. I don't think she's just playing with you here.