Too Sexy?

[vertical_sky]

I'm not quite sure what to make of this interaction.

Last night one of my guy friends threw a party at his house. This particular friend and I have kind of a rocky relationship; sometimes it feels like he enjoys pissing me off. He rolls his eyes a lot at stuff I say and tells me I'm ridiculous, over-emotional, etc.

One of the things that he always rolls his eyes about is when I say I never get hit on. (This comes up in conversations where he claims women, just by virtue of being female, can get laid, and I point out that isn't universally true since I can't even get a guy to flirt with me.) My friend says it's because I don't dress in "feminine" ways and don't often wear make up. (He says on an average day, I'm a 5 or 6 out on a 10 scale.)

So I decided for the party I'd really go all out. I have this gorgeous halter corset I rarely wear, so I broke that out with a pair of jeans and some black high heel boots. (I really love corsets and steampunk/gothic wear. This is the corset: [url=http://www.fredericks.com/Hollywood_Dream_Lace_Halter_Corset/56023,default,pd.html?cgid=co1]Hollywood Dream Lace Halter Corset[/url])

When I showed up to the party, though, my friend just rolled his eyes at me, and told me I looked ridiculous! When I asked what he meant, he said I was TOO sexy! Then he pointed out some girl in a short skirt and tube top (so showing WAY more skin than me) and said THAT was how I was supposed to dress, and now I just looked like I was trying too hard.

I asked one of our mutual friends who was standing by if what my friend was saying was true, and he agreed! What the hell?? All you could see was my shoulders and some cleavage, and THAT'S somehow "trying too hard"?? Can anybody explain this?

[girl68]

It was the corset. If you had wore a tank top in the exact same shape you wouldn't have recieved those comments. It's not that you were showing skin or not showing skin it was what you were wearing the corset = trying to hard.

The girl showing more skin in the tube top was showing more skin but in casual clothes (ie the tube top) I suspect it wasn't lacy or racy like the corset you wore. That's what men can't explain.

Corsets = hella sexy... casual clothes are just that.

Next time don't go ALL OUT. Just get prettied up. I think you just over did it. Tight jeans, boots and a cute top will do...

[Anturo]

^^ girl68 is correct.

Corset = Hot as hell, but at the same time I'd think man what’s wrong with her that she has to try so hard.

The chick in the tube top was casual, yet sexy at the same time.

She was trying without letting guys know she was actually trying.

Tight jeans that show off the ass are nice, but a short skirt is better.

A Tube top is not necessary. A tight shirt showing cleavage is better.

Make up done right not too much, if anything eye liner.

Oh and at a house party carrying a bottle around with a pourer and telling guys to kneel and take a shot from you wins mad sexy points.

[SelflessnHumble]

It's not too sexy ( of course pics would be nice) j/k
See, it just appears that you're trying too hard for you to get noticed. Why? A short skirt accentuates nice looking legs. A tube top shows off her skin/belly/chest. They are simple pieces of clothing but effective.
But A corset? At a party setting? The answer will probably piss you off...But here it goes: You didn't "pull it off" which is why your friends felt you were trying too hard.

Not every outfit goes with every woman.

Personally I dig the outfit no matter the occasion but it could be seen as out of place when the people who are used to you: know you. This doesn't mean you won't attract some new guy.
In order to attract a guy you don't need to look like Megan Fox or dress like a porn star. All you really need is:

A captivating smile and a pair of eyes that call out to say you're open and approachable. <-----Those are the main things that push guys from asking women out. (when you appear closed off)

[vertical_sky]

Except that whenever I go out in jeans and a tight shirt, that same friend says I'm not trying hard ENOUGH.

It kinda feels like I can't freaking win.

[the_robot]

Woah, they've been showing me bad corsets up until now.

[SelflessnHumble]

Except that whenever I go out in jeans and a tight shirt, that same friend says I'm not trying hard ENOUGH.

It kinda feels like I can't freaking win.

This ^^ is the problem. What you say? YOUR FRIEND is the problem!

A girl in tight jeans and a tight shirt is perfectly adequate for going out/to a party.
It sounds like the clothes make the person become someone better (in his eyes) which is severely retarded thinking at play here.

Your location is Minnesota: end thread. I've heard about that place.
Come to California and you will have many men after you.

[vertical_sky]

Your location is Minnesota: end thread. I've heard about that place.
Come to California and you will have many men after you.

How is Minnesota the problem??

[Kaius]

To wear this, you have to have the figure to pull it off. My fiancee happens to be totally into the steampunk/gothic/vampire look, so she wears this when we go out (without the kids). She is petite with natural D cups, so she looks AMAZING. She doesn't look slutty at all, because she accessorizes with classy shawl and nice long skirt. It depends on how you present it. Yes this is a very sexy look, and I think it takes confidence to be able to wear this.

[Petit Papillon]

The corset you showed in the link... It`s to wear in a bedroom, not outside, unless you`re a stripper or a prostitute. I also think you were trying too hard. You don`t have to dress up like a hooker to look sexy. Some jeans and a nice top plus high heels would make the deal. I think you somehow lack the sense of hmmm dressing up feminine ? It happens... Read some blogs and so about that stuff, it must be helpful.

But then again, if you`re goth or something , I don`t know how goth style can be sexy... I was never into it and I also can`t see the connection between gothic style and sexiness . But that`s me.

[vertical_sky]

The corset you showed in the link... It`s to wear in a bedroom, not outside, unless you`re a stripper or a prostitute. I also think you were trying too hard. You don`t have to dress up like a hooker to look sexy. Some jeans and a nice top plus high heels would make the deal. I think you somehow lack the sense of hmmm dressing up feminine ? It happens... Read some blogs and so about that stuff, it must be helpful.

Except I wear jeans, a nice shirt and high heels, and that same friend then says I'm not trying at all!!

Maybe I was just born in the wrong era. I look ridiculous in most modern clothes, but I think I can pull off corsets like that (not too bad in togas either.)

[SelflessnHumble]

How is Minnesota the problem??

You always base your opinion of yourself based on how the natives view you (stereotypically and superficially)
Since you asked: you posted a link about your appearance because you can't seem to land a date (when you're cute, smart and have a sense of humor) k?

Why can't you land a date? It's not your looks. It's the men you encounter (which derives from location) OR: You're projecting
your insecurities and low self confidence in yourself. It's not a mystery to me.

Now it seems this one annoying friend (who loves to make faces at you and make you feel MORE insecure) is part of the problem
of where you derive these feelings in the first place, see that?

If you surrounded yourself with better people: this shit would not happen.

[SelflessnHumble]

Except I wear jeans, a nice shirt and high heels, and that same friend then says I'm not trying at all!!

Maybe I was just born in the wrong era. I look ridiculous in most modern clothes, but I think I can pull off corsets like that (not too bad in togas either.)

It's not the era.

(1) It's your natural body shape that contours to the cuts you choose to wear.... and
(2) Wearing a corset unless you pwn it will yield, "you're trying too hard" because it didn't look right on you.

(which again is all based on our superficial instinct to say what is or isn't attractive) to begin with....see that?

Your perception is responsible for HOW you view yourself.
The question is....what molds and shapes your perception and 2nd, how can YOU affect this for the positive?

[vertical_sky]

Here, this is me in it (except imagine I'm wearing jeans instead of the shirt/leggings thing):

[url=http://s9.photobucket.com/albums/a70/vertical_sky/Me/?action=view&current=RH2010_1.jpg]Me :: RH2010_1.jpg picture by vertical_sky - Photobucket[/url]

[smackie9]

If you are going to wear something that looks like lingerie, wear an open fitted blouse over it with a shirt and a pair baby jane shoes. Corset, tight jeans and CFM boots spells hooker or like your firend said trying too hard. What you could do is go find a store that sells a variety of clothing and get those sales girls to dress you.....just ask for a sexy but soften feminie look. That is what they are there for and trained to do. You don't have to buy anything but they can give you an idea what to wear. Also pick up some fashion magazines for some ideas.