when to give up ?

[Zanderini]

how many times does a girl need to be busy before you stop asking her to hang out?
in my case out of the times ive asked i know two of the times were legit reason she couldnt due to being out of town. Some of the times i know are legit because of working out of town and going to school and health issues. Most of the times she didnt try to reschedule but the last two times she said shed be down to hang out and then she also said maybe next week. idk if her saying she'd be down and maybe next week are a step in the right direction from i cant im busy with doctors etc....

I left the last one at hit me up when youre free. should i just leave it at that and leave it up to her to contact? if she doesnt should i drop it alltogether? also why would she say she wants to hang out or suggest maybe next week if she has no intention of chilling with me.

[xxazurexx]

also why would she say she wants to hang out or suggest maybe next week if she has no intention of chilling with me.

She's probably hoping that you will get the message and when she keeps letting you down, however it doesn't appear you are.

Letting you down time and time again, is a far easier way to reject than saying 'Look...I'm NOT interested in you'.

I'd leave her alone. If she was interested, she wouldn't keep saying 'busy' or putting you off.

[Bonfire]

Girls don't like confrontations so they will sometimes say things just to ease the tension like suggesting maybe next week. When a girl likes a guy they will change their schedules just to be able to go out with him. So whenever I try to arrange a date with a girl and she can't go because she's busy. I will stop asking after 2 times. That's just me. I would only ask twice. If by the second time she is too busy. Then the ball is on her court. I will not bother with her again unless she ask me out. Usually when a girl says she's busy, she's not interested.

[Zanderini]

She's probably hoping that you will get the message and when she keeps letting you down, however it doesn't appear you are.

I'd leave her alone. If she was interested, she wouldn't keep saying 'busy' or putting you off.

i got the message as i havent been constantly pestering her. I pretty much already knew what the response was going to be so i gave it one more try and she responded with that. still why wouldnt she just say no im busy or just be upfront about it? i mean it went from i cant to to maybe next week i find that odd that she would say that

[xxazurexx]

i still why wouldnt she just say no im busy or just be upfront about it? i mean it went from i cant to to maybe next week i find that odd that she would say that

Yeah 'maybe' next week...which probably means you will get the same answer and when next week comes and she says 'I'm busy'....

Didn't you read anything that anybody said in this thread?

If a female likes you, she won't put you off....end of.

[Zanderini]

Yeah 'maybe' next week...which probably means you will get the same answer and when next week comes and she says 'I'm busy'....

Didn't you read anything that anybody said in this thread?

If a female likes you, she won't put you off....end of.

yes i get that and probably will not be asking her to hang out again. She went from very talkative and making effort to being short and having excuses. she was the one who put in the original effort alltogether. but i guess i should just wait and see if she contacts me and if not just forget her

[xxazurexx]

^Exactly. Don't text or call her anymore, you have done your part and have done enough chasing.
Ball is in her court now and if she is interested, she will make time for you.

[Zanderini]

what i find odd is she put int ons of effort in the beginning when we met and was very talkative and wanted to hang out. i understand ive done my part, is there anything i can do to stimulate intrest or is all lost if she doesnt hit me up? btw out of the 4 girls im talking with i like her the most

[lessthankeevin]

Don't worry about trying to make her interested, just do your own thing, worry about you, if she's putting you off and you keep trying and trying she's eventually gonna either sit you down and tell you that she's not interested or she's gonna be a bitch depending on the girl

[Zanderini]

Don't worry about trying to make her interested, just do your own thing, worry about you, if she's putting you off and you keep trying and trying she's eventually gonna either sit you down and tell you that she's not interested or she's gonna be a bitch depending on the girl

thats what i have been doing. Ive been just doing my own things with my friends and other people. ive been putting little time into dealing with her other than the occasional text message. it hasnt been holding me back from anything at all. what im still not getting is why she went from saying i cant to stringing me on? Im pretty much decided on giving up and not worrying about her in any way and hope that she contacts me. any other suggestions?

[lessthankeevin]

I wouldn't even do the occasional text unless she does it first. Whether she's interested or not girls like some challenge and you're making it too easy for her right now. And who knows what she's stringing you on now, maybe something came up in her life, ex boyfriend anything who knows. All I'm saying if she actually is busy, and she does want to get to know you better then she will put some effort in. And get this, this is my philosophy, the only reasons we date anyone is to possibly marry them on day, I think most people can agree on that. Can you see yourself being held up by her over and over again, and always having to have to put in the effort to see her. That's too much of a drag and there's no general interest if that happens. So pardon my French but **** that bitch. Girls come and go dude, maybe next time you'll be the busy one while a different girl tries to make plans with you, who knows. Just go out and have fun with your life, you've only got one haha

[Zanderini]

I wouldn't even do the occasional text unless she does it first. Whether she's interested or not girls like some challenge and you're making it too easy for her right now. And who knows what she's stringing you on now, maybe something came up in her life, ex boyfriend anything who knows. All I'm saying if she actually is busy, and she does want to get to know you better then she will put some effort in. And get this, this is my philosophy, the only reasons we date anyone is to possibly marry them on day, I think most people can agree on that. Can you see yourself being held up by her over and over again, and always having to have to put in the effort to see her. That's too much of a drag and there's no general interest if that happens. So pardon my French but **** that bitch. Girls come and go dude, maybe next time you'll be the busy one while a different girl tries to make plans with you, who knows. Just go out and have fun with your life, you've only got one haha

I mean even her own housemates say they dont see much of her at all.According to them she is actually busy i trust them and am pretty close with them. and by occasional text it was like maybe once every week or two not often and not conversational. i agree though ill drop it for a while and see what happens.its hard though considering she is really the only girl i like a lot out of the several that im talking to.

and i currently am the one who is too busy for another girl trying to make plans with me. I am legit busy even though i dont like her so much.

[lessthankeevin]

Let her try to start the conversation, regardless if she's busy or not, lets she if she even gives a ****. Forget her housemates, don't go asking around it seems needing. A couple texts here and there are cool, but make sure you're not the only one initiating it. Try to lay low for a while unless she initiates something. You've got 6 other girls supposedly who you can fill your time with, just roll with that for now.

What's your relationship with this girl even? Do you know her well, or is she new?

[therealjag]

if you're so busy and shes so busy, whats the point anyway - may aswell just let it go. its like that old thing always trying to get what we cant have....

lets just say you did start seeing each other - you guys would be so busy anyway that it probs wouldnt work out.

[Maple1714]

She might like you as a friend...and also like the attention you are giving her by your random texts...but she is not into you. Just forget it. The timing isn't right it seems. Everyone likes attention...so she is prob. stringing you along just for that and nothing else. When 2 people are really into each other...there are few questions. It just happens. When you find yourself having to put in a lot of effort in the beginning...the feelings/attraction just probably isn't there. Maybe you guys can be friends and one day get together. You probably like her the best out of all the other girls you are talking to b/c is not making herself very available. Just move on.