Why does my girlfriend want to go out all of a sudden?

[the_man101]

Hi ,

I've been with my girlfriend for over 4 years now. She recently graduated from college and has a career now, but the only problem I am having is she always wants to go out with her girlfriends to clubs over the weekends. In beginning, it used to be just us and she would go out every once in a while, until recently she is all about hanging out with her friends. Now, I have my own friends and I'm usually out while she is, but for some reason this is bothering me a lot; she ever prefers being with them more than being with me now. This changed happened all of a sudden in one month. Is she falling out of love with me? I asked her if she doesn't want to be with me anymore but she always tells me she can't live without me and that I'm over thinking things and need to relax. I just have a gut feeling she is losing feelings for me but doesn't want to tell me.

Mike

[xxazurexx]

All I can say is, is that when my ex hubby started 'suddenly' going out all the time and claiming it was with friends, he was telling porkies and it was for the purpose of seeing another woman.

Not saying that is the case here and there is nothing wrong with her spending time with friends. But I'd be concerned that she seems to be wanting to spend more time with her friends than you and it's happening a lot.

I'd go with your gut...if something doesn't feel right anymore, it's because it isn't.

[smackie9]

Dude she has become an adult now, and is enjoying her freedom as an adult, it's almost like a kid learning to ride a bike for the first time. This is all new and exciting to her and well it's only been a month. Instead of going your separate ways to entertain yourselves, why not get all your friends together for a few nights out or have some parties......throwing BBQ's, cocktail parties or hot tub parties, is an adult thing to do. Maybe plan some camping trips as a group. These are all the things me and my husband did when we were your age, and we had a great time.

Now if you want to help this relationship you are going to have to stick with good communication instead of fretting over it and expecting strangers to fix this. Tell her how you understand that she is enjoying this new lifestyle, it shouldn't be taken into this extreme. Let her know that you wish to make a compromise and work out having alternate weekends together and or those other suggestions I made. You have to work it out with her before it gets way out of hand.

[smackie9]

Now if nothing works, you have to sit her down and ask for the truth. Don't let her blow it off....push for it.

[smackie9]

I agree with the other poster......when someone does a 180, it means they have another interest.

[hello1]

I agree with the other poster......when someone does a 180, it means they have another interest.

Yeah I agree. If I started going out with my friends all the time it be because I did not want to be with my boyfriend. She is looking at the single life again and seems to me is loving it!

[Maple1714]

She is testing the waters and thinking about moving on.

[SelflessnHumble]

Why does your girlfriend want to go out all of a sudden?

Answer: She has discovered that being a home body rotting within the same walls doing the same old tired ass shit was and IS utter boring. She needs relief and release from it all.
She wants new experiences. I ask you, "WHY does this girl's boyfriend seem so selfish that he wants to keep her locked up under lock and key when she's so young?

Does she invite you? Yes? Then stop complaining. No? Then this is a problem.
If she is always going out with you....and all you're good for is money, pity sex and infrequent communication that lasts no more than a few seconds/minutes:
time to sit her down and talk to her like a man does/would.

I ask you this: Are you:

adventurous? Yes? Describe your ideal date with her.
Spontaneous? Yes? Give examples of your spontaneity.
Outgoing? Personable, approachable, likable? How so?

If she was 18 when you met her....now she's 22...guess what bro?
She isn't going to be the same person throughout her whole entire life. Life is change. People change. Can't adapt to change?

You're in big trouble.

[the_man101]

Hi SelflessnHumble,

I would like to have a private chat with you if you don't mind. Your post just opened my eyes.

Mike

[SelflessnHumble]

Hi SelflessnHumble,

I would like to have a private chat with you if you don't mind. Your post just opened my eyes.

Mike

K, write to me what you're thoughts are and how you feel in a PM and we'll go from there.

[the_man101]

Ok, I'll pm you as soon as I get my post count up to 15.

[ashley89]

maybe she feels that since she was with you throughout her college years, she never got to really go out and go to clubs and have fun girl time with her friends. I know that once I got involved with my ex, I stopped hanging out with alot of my girl friends... it wasn't anything personal, I just got wrapped up with him. we hardly went out to bars or anything like that, and I always wanted to go out and have fun. now that we broke up, I go out almost every weekend with my friends, and I love it! I felt like I was missing out on doing this all along. she's young, you're young, she wants to have fun and if she says she loves you I would believe her. don't get too paranoid and not let her spend time with her friends, that'll push her away