i love her too much please help

[thisisnewtome]

This sounds like an unrealistic problem but I'm for real. I cant think of anything but her all day and night long. I cant focus on anything and work and school are really suffering, but every time i try to do something else i get distracted by thoughts or plans or daydream about her wondering what shes doing every sec of every day. I just cant think of anything else ever I even forget things that are very important to me like friends b days and stuff and have been distancing myself from them, not because i want to but i just want to be available for her every second. Ii feel like if I go to a friends I might miss a call or a message.
Not only has my whole life been redesigned to be convenient for her(she didn't ask for any of this by the way so its not that she is controlling actually shes asks less of me then any other girl friend I've ever had ) , but I'm afraid my obsession may even someday affect my relationship. Right now she thinks its cute, but what about after that wears off. I don't want to be like this, but i cant stop over analyzing every little thing. If we text i read the whole conversation many many times until we talk again. always trying to see what i could have done differently, or said in a different way, or what i might have done wrong on accident. Then I have to apologies when I notice it. So far she thinks its cute if i apologize for something i said hours before that didn't even make her mad. especially when she took it how i meant it and not how i thought maybe she may have perceived it. But that wont be like that forever. Please help!!!! I don't know what to do or where to go. I should probably mention that this is a long distance relationship right now, and in April I'm planning on moving to her, 9700 miles away since i live in Michigan in us and she lives in Australia.

[MerryH]

Hook us up with some punctuation and paragraphs, please.



Edit: Thank you.

You're being way too clingy. Try rereading the first few sentences of your post and tell me that doesn't sound pathetic. You're changing everything about yourself and everything you do to fit some notion you have of what a boyfriend should be like, or something. How would anyone find that cute, even for a minute? It's so unattractive.

Edit 2: **** me, why didn't I notice that he's asking about an internet relationship?! Blagh. Go outside, OP.

[thisisnewtome]

HI
i know I'm being clingy i know its pathetic, that's why I'm here. I need to know how do I stop this. I do go outside im actually out and about during all of my daytime. I'm always busy doing something or another like work or i volunteer at a few places and go to school. Which is easy for me to do since she is sleeping then, but i cant think of anything but her even then. I stay up all night to be with her during her day time and just catch a nap once in a while and I'm good. I have a sleeping disorder so I only sleep about 4 hours a night. Its all i need anymore then 6 and i get migraines. That's why we met in the different time zones. I know its a problem that's why I'm here the issue is i don't know how to fix it. I didn't mean i was changing things about me to fit an image, just my time management skills are gone. I still act like me and talk like me and wouldn't change that for anyone even for her, but its because she loves me without me changing (as most gf i have had to this point do) that makes me so interested. It makes me want to be the best i can be for her because she deserves it. she loves me for me not because I'm useful to her like everyone else and that is something no one has done.

[thisisnewtome]

hi
i know I'm being clingy i know its pathetic, that's why I'm here. I need to know how do I stop this. I do go outside im actually out and about during all of my daytime. I'm always busy doing something or another like work or i volunteer at a few places and go to school. Which is easy for me to do since she is sleeping then, but i cant think of anything but her even then. I stay up all night to be with her during her day time and just catch a nap once in a while and I'm good. I have a sleeping disorder so I only sleep about 4 hours a night. Its all i need anymore then 6 and i get migraines. That's why we met in the different time zones. I know its a problem that's why I'm here the issue is i don't know how to fix it. I didn't mean i was changing things about me to fit an image, just my time management skills are gone. I still act like me and talk like me and wouldn't change that for anyone even for her, but its because she loves me without me changing (as most gf i have had to this point do) that makes me so interested. It makes me want to be the best i can be for her because she deserves it. she loves me for me not because I'm useful to her like everyone else and that is something no one has done.

[Sharz]

Sometimes love does crazy things to you, its not likes it not normal for boys to feel this way about girls, especially they're first love =) Unfortuanetly it may stop being cute, and a bad trait as things may get to personal and confronting for her, things like jealously and making time for each other. Just take it as it comes, don't let ur behavior be a problem until she says it is, then use will have to work something out. For now your still young, Stress less!

[GK001]

You need to stop living for her buddy. this is dangerous. as time goes by shes gonna lose respect for you as a MAN. There is a high possibility she will see you as a door mat subconsciously later on.
you cant keep this up, lifting her expectations up so high it will be tiring and draining (been there done that). when your in love with some one during the "honeymoon period" its hard i know.
the trick is to make this honeymoon period as long as possible by not committing your self 100% at the start...hold your self back by spread your time and affection out.

[xxazurexx]

You need therapy.

Obsession is NOT normal.

[waitimConfused]

Yea. One of King Arthur's Rules of Courtly Love are to not do exactly what your doing. This is because when u starve yourself and fall into diastolic shock, you'll be no use to anyone in that relationship. That's creepy. See a Psychologist, before you get lifted on a gurney and into a hospital. Once she finds this out about. She'll be scared as F.. U .ck i know i would. Maybe lunch dates would help? breakfast Lunch and dinner.

[thisisnewtome]

um i don't really understand the food connection. i don't eat any differently then i used to. Im not in any physical danger. I just need to know a way I can calm down and focus on my school work and stuff, and be less clingy when all i do makes me think of her.

[thisisnewtome]

and to sharz and gkool i like that you guys understand what im going threw and your right sharz she hasnt said anything or done anything to say that its a problem but i need to get thing done like schoolwork and other things but i cant fucus on anything more then a few min before something reminds me of her and my mind wanders. and gkool i like that you have been where i am and i just want to know some ways to not give 100% when shes all i hink of and do again not by choice not that i dont like thinking about her and doing stuff for her i just need to do some of my stuff and cant do it but i thank you both for your posts they were really good then to asure i dont think its that big of a problem because she is the same as i am and does the same stuff like i said we talk all of her day its rare we talk less then 15-17 hours a day

[HeartIsAching]

Edit 2: **** me, why didn't I notice that he's asking about an internet relationship?! Blagh. Go outside, OP.

Yep. Got that far and went "Crap... LD stuff."

Dude... 9700 miles for a woman you've never met? Do yourself a favor - take a month off this summer, fly out there and visit her. Note that I said "visit".

[thisisnewtome]

heartisaching i know its a long distance to move for someone i haven't met, but neither my nor her financial situations will allow us to just visit. I have to sell everything I own to get there just once. When you consider that every visit would cost about $4000, I cant do that, nor can she afford to keep making the trip to the closest city to her with an international air port. Its about a 3 day drive away with a 2 year old and she don't have a license so she has to find a friend to drive her. The friend that is taking her when we meet in April is already gonna dive 4 hours to get to her house and pick her up, then 3 days to the city we meet in. We cant keep asking her to do that. Plus I don't mind moving there and want to. I just need to know if anyone has any ideas on how to be less clingy and obsessed.

[Anturo]

How about you work on getting your self to the point where you can make a trip like that to "visit".

I remember having a girl back when I was younger and wanted to marry her thought the world of her. I spent $1500 for a week to fly to Texas from Florida to go see and "visit" her. I am so glad I made that investment than an entire up root of my life for her. Why because during the visit I found out more about her and who she really was.

$4000 for a visit is cheaper than if you put all your eggs and one basket to go over there and trip and fall. I wouldnt want you coming back in a few months crying that you have no money and all your eggs are broken.

[thisisnewtome]

im not really expecting everything to be absolutely perfect, but after all the research I've done I've decided that Australia is a great place to live right now. The economy is really good and I think even if she left me I would stay there. I believe its a better place for me and if you was paying 1500 a week you had a good job and life. I don't, I don't have a job thanks to Michigan booming economy. You almost need a degree and 7 years experience to get job at McDonald's. I have a very small family and a few close friends ill keep in touch with, but I decided long before I'm leaving here. I cant say that Australia was the first thought, but if it gives me a chance at a family, something I have always wanted, then its worth all i got to try. She makes me happy, something i haven't been in at least 8 years. For many years I wanted to kill myself. Now not only do I not want to live I'm actually afraid of dying again, something i never thought i would experience again. But even if it don't work out with her, Australia offers me a change and a way out of the redundancy that is my life here in Michigan. If nothing else it gives me a way to start life new and do things the right way. I didn't plan on going to live there, but after looking into it I think its the best for me, with or without her. though I'm really really really wanting it to be with her, I know that to both me and her chemistry is important. I appreciate your worries for me, but fact of the matter is most the eggs i have are spoiled and cracked so I'm rolling it all on this one shot at happiness

[GK001]

If you do decide to move to Australia just be sure to mentally plan for the worst. at least you wont end up alone without support or backup in a foreign land. when your mentally unprepared and shit hits the fan you might really just kill your self there.