should I lie?

[dan123]

Hi.
ok, so thats how it goes:
im 26, never been in something you could call a long time relationship.
I dont think I have a problem of being in a relationship, I think that I just didnt date enough girls, so I didnt find someone special till today.

The problem is that most girls I date are around ages 23-26, so all of them had at least one serious relationship, usually even more.
So when we get to second-third date and start discussing previous relationships, the fact that I didnt have any serious relationships isn't on my behalf. They usually ask how can it be? and I assume they probably think there's something wrong with me if I couldn't handle even one serious relationship till today. so, Thats usually the point where the girl and I stop seeing.

the question is,
should I lie? maybe I could, the next time Im seeing a girl and we get to this issue, tell her I had a 1 year long relationship or something like that, and then,
after a while, when I see the relationship is going well, I could tell her the truth?
or should I stick to the truth? and hope someone, someday, would understand.

Any advices are welcome,

thanks

[Charlie Boy II]

Have you at least been on a few dates before? You could talk about those.

[PickMeARose]

Lying is never good because eventually it will come and bite ya in the butt.
You could always say that you haven't been in a long term relationship because you haven't found someone who you've had that "special" connection with, or something along those lines. Someone who is worth it will understand. It really shouldn't matter how many long terms, or how few long terms someone has been in.

[nymphomaniac]

Yes. I think you should lie.

Then I think you should say "just joking" and tell her the truth.
There is nothing more of a turn on than someone who is brutally honest about everything.

It is funny and refreshing to hear pure honesty when meeting someone because of all the pretense that usually goes on in the dating arena. Unless it's something rude or negative like, "you are pretty chubby" or "that old guy is staring at your breasts, cover up because you look like a whore."

[RockNRoll]

No, you shouldn't lie.
Why would you discuss your previous relationships, especially on the 2-3 date?!
Be honest.
I guess girls just want to know, that you are capable of having a long term relationship and they see your past history as a proof (although it's only up to how you two get on, rather than your history). They want to know, if you're a decent guy and looking for relationship, rather than your past.
Make it your advantage, as you don't have any problems with an ex, and potentially your date can become more special for you than any other girl have ever been.

[doppelgaenger]

Why would you discuss previous relationships, ever?

If a girl starts talking about that shit on a date with me, I usually get up and leave. Seriously, that's the last thing I wanna talk about. Life's too short.

[vashti]

(rolling eyes ^)

I don't think you should lie, but I DO think you should frame this in a way that is favorable. Did you go to university? If so, then just say you were too focused on your studies/career building to do anything more than date casually, because you didn't think it was fair to a girl to tie her down, and then never be available to her.

This will make you look sensitive and thoughtful, rather than inexperienced.

(of course, if you chose an easy major, this will be harder to pull off.)

[birdofthenorth]

The truth is always the best option. At the end of the day you don't want to end up with someone who can't live with your facts as they are because the truth always comes out in the end anyhow. I agree that this is not really the sort of conversation for the first or second date. Not even the third. This sort of information only potentially matters if and when you decide to actually establish a relationship with each other. But never choose to lie.

[dan123]

Hi everyone,
first of all thanks for all the advices.
second, this issue always comes up (not by me of course) on my second or third date.
Its not that we're start talking about each and each of our previous relationships, its more like "I've had someone for 3 years, and then in college another one for 7 months, and then...". something like that, which I think is a legitimate question.
Maybe, like some of you said, I should focus on giving a good reason for not having a relationship so far, like the "I was too busy on my studies" excuse, which actually, is part of the reason for that.

[80r]

I wouldn't say flat out lie, but skirt the truth, certainly. At the point of the second or third date, your past is irrelevant.

[Kaius]

Don't lie about unimportant things like dating experience. No woman would look down on you for never having a serious relationship.
However, if you are a virgin, and she is a professional, then there might be issues, as women generally don't want to teach a partners.
But this isn't the case here. Just tell the truth. Save the lies for more important things.