Are we men actually capable of loving someone till the day we die?

[toby99]

Hi ,

I'm new to the forums and the only reason I created an account and decided to write a post because something has been bothering me for a long time and I thought I'd just ask people who may have some answers. Are we men actually capable of loving someone till the day we die? Are we programed to actually feel unconditional love for someone, because to be honest I really don't think I am.
When I see a girl I immediately look at the ass and chest area and then the brain decides whether I like her or not. And she can be the hottest most perfect looking woman out there. She can be smart, caring and beautiful but if I get her in the sack , after the job is done I want absolutely nothing to do with her. What I thought were feelings was just me being horny , and could have been taken care off by simply jacking off. Now you might say , get to know a girl better and you might start feeling something real , but I have known a girl since we were about 11-12 , I'm 22 now and I know that she is as kind as they come , she's absolutely stunning looking and the most caring person I know. She's smart and very loyal. The girl is perfect on paper and there are days when I think , if I was with her , I'd be the happiest bloke on earth , and since she has some sexy pictures on facebook I did wonder onto her page one time and gave myself a treat. Afterwards all those feelings I thought I had was again just me being horny , and for an hour or so I was even repeled by the sigh of her , until ofcourse I got a little horny again and this happens with every single girl that I have slept with or 'fantasized' about.
So , are we men actually capable of loving someone , or are we just horny beings created to **** everything that walks and not capable of having genuine feelings for someone past the sex. Could it be just me ? Is there something wrong with me, that I'm such an 'ass' and only care whats on the outside? Or maybe this whole 'love' thing goes deeper, and someone perfect on paper may NOT be the person for you if she doesn't do anything for you on a deeper level and I just have to wait until I meet that someone? Do the guys on these forums feel the same , yes/no?
Feedback from guys with experience would be great. Someone that has been happily married for years or has been in a relationship for a long long time. Also I would really appreciate to NOT have any feedback from women since trying to answer the above question when you're not a guy is like, you trying to describe what's it like to get kicked in the nuts, or me trying to describe the pain of childbirth.

Thanks so much.

[xxazurexx]

Tough shit....you will hear a female opinion.

My grandad loved only one woman till the day he died....my grandmother.

So yes, some men are capable of loving only one woman - the type whose brains belong in his HEAD....not his PRICK!

[toby99]

Tough shit....you will hear a female opinion.

My grandad loved only one woman till the day he died....my grandmother.

So yes, some men are capable of loving only one woman - the type whose brains belong in his HEAD....not his PRICK!

That's like saying 'Being gay is your own fault'
So is there a course I could take perhaps or some sort or a 'fix what you feel' camp I could go to , to fix the horrible lifechoice I've chosen. Gimme a break lady.
Next thing you'll actually start describing the pain of getting kicked in the nuts and that it doesn't hurt.

[xxazurexx]

So is there a course I could take perhaps or some sort or a 'fix what you feel' camp I could go to , to fix the horrible lifechoice I've chosen...

Yeah....consider CASTRATION.

[JadenMia]

Another girl here.. Sorry. lol

I think you will just eventually meet a certain girl and fall for her.. Sounds like you just havent meet someone who you gel with..
Hopefully you feel love one day.. Otherwise i think your missing out!

If you dont ever meet anybody in your lifetime, then maybe you are just the prick you sound like in your post.

[HeartIsAching]

What you're describing has nothing at all to do with love. That's just shallow, fleeting lust. Will that last forever? Hell no.

Real love - it's totally different. Whether or not you're capable of it has far less to do with your gender than it does whether or not you're mentally ill.

It's also one of those things you have to experience - when you do, it's unmistakable.

[sweetkissesforu]

You are going to get older and then there will be no girls around to use

[sweetkissesforu]

Another girl here.. Sorry. lol

I think you will just eventually meet a certain girl and fall for her.. Sounds like you just havent meet someone who you gel with..
Hopefully you feel love one day.. Otherwise i think your missing out!

If you dont ever meet anybody in your lifetime, then maybe you are just the prick you sound like in your post.

lol so well put could not have said it any better

[toby99]

What you're describing has nothing at all to do with love. That's just shallow, fleeting lust. Will that last forever? Hell no.

Real love - it's totally different. Whether or not you're capable of it has far less to do with your gender than it does whether or not you're mentally ill.

It's also one of those things you have to experience - when you do, it's unmistakable.

I know it's shallow , I know I'm shallow , but like I said to the poster above you, that's like saying to a gay person that 'Being gay is your own fault'. I would give my right arm to just know someone who I would love like that , let alone actually be in that kind of a relationship. You're the only one who actually answered my question to some extent so thanks man.
Just on a side note , I knew I was going to get flamed by women , that's one of the reasons I wanted to get a reply from a guy. Not everything in life is pixies and fairies.

[the_robot]

Just on a side note , I knew I was going to get flamed by women , that's one of the reasons I wanted to get a reply from a guy. Not everything in life is pixies and fairies.

Women in this forum are usually more down-to-earth than you probably are. These are grown women, not girls who think life is all pixies and fairies as you say.

About your situation, I don't know much about love, but I read a study showing some couples get the same chemical reactions attributed to love after being 40 or 50 years together, so I'd say it is possible for a male to love "till he dies". What you are feeling sounds like simple lust though.

[HeartIsAching]

I know it's shallow , I know I'm shallow , but like I said to the poster above you, that's like saying to a gay person that 'Being gay is your own fault'. I would give my right arm to just know someone who I would love like that , let alone actually be in that kind of a relationship. You're the only one who actually answered my question to some extent so thanks man.
Just on a side note , I knew I was going to get flamed by women , that's one of the reasons I wanted to get a reply from a guy. Not everything in life is pixies and fairies.

I am a guy. You do sound like a prick.

It's probably because you're young. I hope it is. If so, you may get over it.

[Junket]

I felt the same way as you when I was 22.

[toby99]

Which is what mate?

[sookie6]

Have you asked yourself ifyou are capable of 'caring' for someone else than yourself...if you are capable of this then one day you might start enjoying being with one person regardless of the 'sexual benefit' she provides...

You come accross as very detached...you should investigate why...I would not worry so much for now though due to your young age...but still it breaks my heart to think about the young women you might damage along the way.

[Junket]

Which was that I longed to bang every attractive girl that crossed my path and I held a certain level of resentment towards my monogamous relationship to my g/f.

That was 2 years ago now, and my feelings have changed for the better.