No1 helped on last thread, plz help now

[Sharz]

I have been w/ my partner over a year now and I still feel the same about my partner as I did when I first met him, If not feel much much stronger for him. We have been through some tough times, and I mean tough times together, where are relationship was about to end because of other peoples opinions and disputes about him and I. Mainly because I'm only just about to be 20 and his 28. I don't see it to be a problem as my parents have this gap and have been together for 30 years and he also doesn't see it to be a problem, except were at 2 different stages in life and I'm still learning!

From day one we have always had little arguments, sometimes they'd be bigger then others but always over other people like ld friends. We never really have fights with it being about us! Anyways things got epic one day and he broke it up with me, i was so devastated my girlfriends took me out that night when I kissed this guy, don't ask why, I didn't enjoy it, It wasnt for very long at all but a kiss is still a kiss.

Anyway a week later I couldn't stand to be apart a day longer from my partner, I did eveyrthing on my power to get him back, drove an hour and a half for him to meet me at the lake if he wanted to be with me and he came, but stated after everything he didnt want to be with me... he then learnt one night that I kissed this guy through facebook!! After weeks of going through hell, He always bring it up and it makes me feel like shit, I feel so horrible, but we werent together but it still no excuse..

Eventually he got over it and things were getting fine untill he saw once again on faceboook that I had looked his guy up a couple times, I don't now why I did this. I am not attracted to him, I feel nothing for him??? just looked? that along with me looking up my ex ex partner which is what my partner felt more difficult to comprehend? My ex ex was my first partner and spose you could say first love but im no intreste anymore what so ever, I just been bored not working and decided to look? Why would I look?

ANYWAYS QUESTIONS: What should I do, my actions have upsetted my partner and I feel horrible, Do I suck up again? I Love him so much that I feel my whole life is in his hands and everytime we fight I feel suicidal, I hate it. We live an hour and a half away from each other and I forver want to see hi! Do I give him time or once again fight for him! i just need to be able to show him I a devoted! How can I show him I dnt want anyone else, I dnt need anyone else, my eye are for him only and onl he has my heart! HELP ME PLEASE

[magicalhobo]

I'm sorry I can't really help you much with this, but if you are truly feeling suicidal every time you fight then you should seek out a professional opinion.

[SelflessnHumble]

First off: don't bullshit yourself with these excuses....k?
Arguments, even over petty shit is a sign that the both of you lack open and honest communication.
Without it: you might as well just spread your legs and make a wish...Nothing is going to change for the better.

Btw: Age means nothing: but experiences DO mean everything. Without them: you're a rookie in a man's world playing by their rules.

2nd...You say you felt terrible, then you say, "but we weren't together?" YES, it does matter. He brings it up because it HURTS him (because of what YOU chose to do)

Here you go making excuses (again!) You say it was harmless looking up another guy on FB...Your excuse of "boredom" means you were curious about him...To what extent? We don't know. You do...

What should you do? For one: you lack the experience needed to know what to do...because you know you don't know what to do.
2nd, You don't truly love him: you love how he makes you *feel* and if you didn't know: Feelings LIE to you, and to us all, all the time.

You've shown him the complete opposite of what you want.
You lack the major components needed to keep and maintain a meangingful and loving relationship and if you truly want help?

The answers You seek:
Open and Honest communication means the both of you sit down like two adults, calm, collected and humble and DISCUSS your issues with one another like civilized people, not like emotionally irrational people.

Love, trust and respect are also devoid in this relationship...
If he has to look through your private Facebook account (to check up on you) then he's also a coward,
and a fearful/insecure little boy...While he may feel that invading your privacy is warranted by your
previous actions: it is NOT. If he cannot take you at your word: and if you cannot stop cyber stalking/kissing
other guys (even though you were broken up) then it's clear you should not be in a relationship until you learn
how to conduct yourself in one.

[Cinnabella]

Oh well, you caused all of this, imagine how would you feel if he did the same to you? You are so good at using excuses here, you are the wrong one and he was right to chew it all over again coz you kissed another guy no matter you felt or didn't feel anything! Take your responsible!

[Fabulous]

I'd say you have a right to your own privacy. Why is he looking at your online accounts? Why does he care about your past relationships? If you tell as well as show him that you are not interested in anyone but him, then it is his own insecurities that drive him to jealousy.
You can help him out by talking to him gently and reassuring him sweetly that he is the only one in your life. Build up his confidence with spontaneous compliments and gestures. If he asks you about your past relationships again, firmly explain to him that those people mean nothing to you now.

[Sharz]

Like I said i don't want criticism, I know I hurt him, I did state that, did I not? I want help to improve things. I'm not making excuses, thats why I am here, I know I'm in the wrong, that I also admitted.. So as for the 2nd and 3rd opinion post go, I will not take personal, and Cinnabella its take responsibility for you action which I am one to do. I am a good moral person and we all make mistakes, I'm only human. This does not mean I do not love him. I just want advice on how to improve the relationship, if you can't do that go use your rudeness else where. K thanks bye.

[Cinnabella]

It's so easy, I'm sorry if I was harsh, but my ex did similar things about some girls at the start so I know the feelings. It's so easy, you just need to stop all of those that annoys him if he's that important to you, he might become controlling afterward I think. Easiest way is remove them from your page and remain minimum talking to them.

[qwertz]

I'm only just about to be 20 and his 28. I don't see it to be a problem as my parents have this gap and have been together for 30 years and he also doesn't see it to be a problem, except were at 2 different stages in life and I'm still learning!
E

That isnt a significant age difference, but the fact you say you are at different stages in life says alot. If that is true i dont see how it could work long term.

[Sharz]

When I say difference stages in life I mean hes got him self figure out, Im still trying to figure out what I want to do as a career is what I meant... I don't talk to these people either, I just looked so situation little bit different, and it was only few times and I dont do that anymore, I just want to make him happy things are slowly getting better but for him to get trust in me probly is just gnna take time an Ill have to earn it alll over again =/