Age-old Question: Can guys and girls be just friends?

[ashley89]

Well Ashley you already know I printed out your picture and enlarged it to a lifesize cardboard cutout, but I think the issue here would be based on what the guy has been exposed to.
While being attractive is subjective: when it comes to the worldly wants and perception there is such a thing as being hot and/or ugly...And since I have known very beautiful women before as well as in the present
I can comment to say that I need to feel a connection in order to be attracted to someone: it's almost like my soul needs to connect with theirs on some level and if it's not there; and no matter how "hot" she appears to be:
if I can't connect: I hear crickets when I look at her (seriously) !

LMAO! how's my cardboard cut out doing? should I make one of you to make it fair?

[Huggles]

Got similar dilemma. Men are confusing! They say something but behave in another way and mess with you.

[Black Man]

Very difficult because all the relationships of young people
ended with dating and ......

[Nice Lover Boy]

I've been like that with a friend once. It ended up falling in love but we did not ended up together. But we ended in good terms as for using the disclaimer like he said before you guys went out for coffee.
Sooner or later, he will start flirting with you. When he does, its go time.

[Regnent]

Age-old Question: Can guys and girls be just friends?

Totally.
You can also win the lottery.

Aside from being sarcastic about it, yes, it can happen, but honestly, I don't think it's nearly as simple as alot of people think.
Far too often it's friends with carefully guarded/repressed feelings on at least one side.
Often it results in fooling around.

End of the day, the whole penis vagina thing isn't about being friends. In special cases, it works, and works well. In most cases however, the biological need to put penis's into vaginas will cause difficulties in a healthy two way (only) friendship.

[ktm390]

Men are confusing! They say something but behave in another way and mess with you.

well if that aint the pot callin the kettle black!!!!

[crunk_allstarz]

You know, when I see situations like this, just one word comes to my mind- expectations.

This isn't so much about him wanting you as a friend or something more as much as it is about you WANTING to believe that he probably likes you more than a friend. Since he's obviously got a lot of personal stuff to deal with, I think you should hang out with him without expecting anything in return (i.e. a reciprocation of your feelings) and not put yourself in a position where you could get hurt. As for him opening the doors for you, answering your calls, etc.- friends do that too sometimes, and it shouldn't be considered to be particularly romantic or anything. Since he's already told you that he's just looking for friendship, I don't think it would be wise for you to invest your feelings in him right now. Oh and yeah- him staring at you and all- since you two do get along well and he's just come out of a broken relationship, it's natural for him to like your company and perhaps even be physically attracted to you.

Since we don't know what's going on in his mind, and we DO know what's going on in yours in this situation, I'd say- focus on a strictly platonic friendship and nothing more at this moment.

P.S: As for your question- yes, guys and girls can be 'just' friends.

[Gigabitch]

Short answer: only online.

[weird cat]

there are friends which you share superficial activities or conversations with without getting too deeply involved with their inner emotional world, or yours, that includes simply getting along well, basically, there's a wall up with those people whether you like it or not, I prefer to call them acquaintances, simply because I personally perceive the definition of friendship to be much deeper. and with such a person I can and probably will simply stay friends, there are more than a few beautiful woman in my life that are like that, and for reasons I can't quite explain, I don't feel close, or even interested enough to try to break down that wall. for a very few special people however, there comes a point where the wall starts to break down for both of you, it won't be easy, but that's when one or both of you could decide if there exists a real connection, precisely as mentioned by selflessnhumble, and that connection is what shifts the way I look at a woman, to me that connection can be far more attractive than her looks or my physical desires for her, and if I were to feel that connection, that pull, it would be quite very difficult to just be friends with her, unless I absolutely have to in order to respect her.

put into context of your situation, my feelings is that he's into you, but there's something holding him back from taking action, it's more likely that he isn't into you enough for him to break free of whatever that's holding him back. to me that initial remark of staying friends only is really no more than an excuse, for both you and him, it might have been true and even necessary in the beginning, because without being confined within the boundaries of "dating", it indeed is easier to be yourself, that might even be part of the reason why he's holding back. but then, if the feelings toward the other is strong enough, nothing can stop you, that's what it means to be a fool for love.

if it was me, I would ask myself first if i'm willing to accept the possible consequences of being more than friends, should it work, you or him might not be able to face each other as freely, should it fail, you might gradually lose what you have today.
if you believe you can deal with all that, or at least put in the effort to make it work despite all that, then you should ask him straight out what's holding him back, if he would be interested in being more than just friends, if he is in need of anything, time, space, consoling, in order to make it work. I would personally find such questions to be humble and respectful, and if he is a person with adequate capacity for a decent relationship, then he will give you an honest response, enough to let you know exactly what to do, one way or another. if he couldn't provide you with such an response, then perhaps you should really ask yourself if this is someone you wanna spend your time and emotions on.

hope that helped

[SelflessnHumble]

Long answer: Loveforum is a cesspool.

Short reason: with people *like* you it's no wonder you arrive at that conclusion.

[doppelgaenger]

Short reason: with people *like* you it's no wonder you arrive at that conclusion.

Coincidence you should say that. I think I'm the only member on the forum who has broken the online barrier and fücked another member.

[Take2]

Coincidence you should say that. I think I'm the only member on the forum who has broken the online barrier and fücked another member.

How is that possible? At least one other member would have had to break that barrier for you to break it, right?