Problem after moving in with my girlfriend

[jgreenfield53]

Everything had been going great, we loved eachother alot and she would always text me while i was in class saying she missed me and stuff, and i did miss her too. I felt like she really did love me alot and i started to fall deeper in love with her too. We planned on getting an apartment in may but that changed and she needed to get one asap. So we ended up getting one a week ago and it seemed like as soon as we moved in, it wasnt what she thought it was going to be. I noticed the first few days she wouldnt want me to be so close, she seemed like she wanted some space. I didnt know what was bothering her and she really wouldnt explain why. One night she kind of started to explain She started saying about how shes only 19 (im 21) and she doesnt want to feel like shes tied down already, taking the big step of seeing the same person everyday. She said she didnt feel that close to me like she used to before we moved in. I dont know why but it hurt me so bad because it seemed like she was basically saying she will probably get tired of being with me. Before we moved in she was excited about it. After she talked to me about that, i felt like i was losing her and she saw that it kind of hurt me a little. The next day she actually got a little closer to me and hugged me a few times, but its still not how it used to be. She wont text me that shes missing me anymore and it seems like she lost interest or some love for me. Does anyone know what i should do and seen something like this happen? Advice for me?

[qwertz]

hummmm, its a bit weird how she has started feeling like that after just a few days...usually its weeks or even months that people begin to get doubts if they are going to get doubts at all.

[justcheckin]

is there any way you can give her some significant space? Girls need their space. If she gets overwhelmed she will want somewhere to go to get away from everything serious. She cant really do that living with her bf. She just wants some personal time somehow. that will be hard to do if you guys are always together.

[IncognitoSir]

She yet another young teen girl who doesn't know what she wants. It sucks that she tells you all of this right after you 2 move in together though. My advice to you is to get your own place ASAP!!! Let her stay there or vice versa but it's only going to get worst. She wants space now, and if you're living together, that pretty much not possible. She liked the idea of moving in with you, but reality is a whole nother story. Trust me, she needs her space and you probably could use some yourself. She's starting to distance herself and withdraw from the relationship. Time to have that talk.

[justcheckin]

did you guys move in together by some random act? Like, she got evicted and it was the only thing she could do at that very second?

[jgreenfield53]

hummmm, its a bit weird how she has started feeling like that after just a few days...usually its weeks or even months that people begin to get doubts if they are going to get doubts at all.

Her dad died when she was 18, her brother and her uncle died a few weeks ago or about a month and she always used to call me crying and saying how she would never want me to leave her and how much i mean to her life. I remember asking her if there was anything i could do to make her feel better and she replied, "Just stay in my life". She would tell me reasons about why she was in love with me and that i treated her like a women and was very good to her. It seemed like after i helped her get a car and helped her move in to our apartment. She just forgot about all those things and doesnt realize what she is doing to me. I hope it clicks in her head soon about how much i help her. I told her i would always be there for her and even promised her sister i would never hurt her which i really wouldnt. But i never had her promise me to never hurt me.

It was literally the 2nd day we moved in she started feeling this way! It basically seemed like she was saying we were with each other too much and there wasnt much to do without internet or cable. Its basically like she didnt realize how it was going to be to move in. I really dont feel like how she does. I still miss her and love her but its hard to say she does anymore. She used to be inlove with me, like seriously thats what got me to fall in love with her even more. I feel like im losing her. Neither of us are at our apartment and we both have work today. She hasnt called or texted in like 2 hours which she used to be txting or calling me like every hour or so. Its like she lost her love interest for me. Even though she still tells me she loves me every once in awhile but to me it feels like she might be doing it just because she has to deal with it since we moved in. Im so hurt right now and im afraid to talk to her about it because she will just say everythings fine and i know its not. I miss how our relationship used to be. I miss being close to her.

[jgreenfield53]

is there any way you can give her some significant space? Girls need their space. If she gets overwhelmed she will want somewhere to go to get away from everything serious. She cant really do that living with her bf. She just wants some personal time somehow. that will be hard to do if you guys are always together.

After she told me that she needed space, i did give it to her. It did help a little. Yesterday i did this by going out to the bar with my friends and she called me saying how she was just going to go to her cousins house since she didnt want to be at the apartment alone so she slept at her cousins. And when i woke up this morning i texted her saying how i was lonely at our apartment and she texted back "i was lonely last night". I dont know what to do sometimes. I hardly hang out with my friends and i figured it would help because it gave her space.

[jgreenfield53]

She yet another young teen girl who doesn't know what she wants. It sucks that she tells you all of this right after you 2 move in together though. My advice to you is to get your own place ASAP!!! Let her stay there or vice versa but it's only going to get worst. She wants space now, and if you're living together, that pretty much not possible. She liked the idea of moving in with you, but reality is a whole nother story. Trust me, she needs her space and you probably could use some yourself. She's starting to distance herself and withdraw from the relationship. Time to have that talk.

Sounds like some good advice, but i dont think she will like being alone at the apartment every night. She slept at her cousins last night while i was at the bar. But i think a big thing is that we both work at the same job I hat to say that but that means we do see each other alot. I can stay at my moms house but i feel bad having her sleep there by herself every night.

[jgreenfield53]

did you guys move in together by some random act? Like, she got evicted and it was the only thing she could do at that very second?

Yes, her aunt kicked her out and she had to live at her cousins place which she said was horrible. Sometimes before we moved in together, she would ask me to meet up with her around 1am because she couldnt stand being in that house. So she needed a place, so thats why we got an apartment.

[justcheckin]

looks like the only thing you can do is try to deal with it right now. Try to make sure you guys arnt both just sitting there twiddling your thumbs. You gotta stay busy somehow.

[qwertz]

out of interest did you pay for the apartment and the car??

[jgreenfield53]

looks like the only thing you can do is try to deal with it right now. Try to make sure you guys arnt both just sitting there twiddling your thumbs. You gotta stay busy somehow.

Yes, thank you, thats how it kind of was the first day because it happend to be where neither of us had work and i didnt have school that day either. I should also mention that she is not in school this semester, but she will be next semester so shes just working. I go to school and work so lately i have been leaving to do homework at my moms because i dont have internet at the apartment. But i feel like maybe its just hard for her because she only works right now and our apartment gets boring with only a tv(no cable) and an xbox. No internet for computer either. We do have nice furniture and watch movies or play games. We also have been going to the gym. But still a week passed by and its not much different. We both work with eachother today and i feel like its going to be weird since i havnt heard from her in awhile. We only texted back and forth a few times this morning. And it almost seemed like she was mad that i went out with my friends and that she felt lonely even though i figured that was good to give her space. I just want to give her space, but then how does that keep her from feeling lonely?

[jgreenfield53]

out of interest did you pay for the apartment and the car??

No, we split everything for the apartment and all she needed was $280 to buy her car which i gave her. The car total cost $3,500. When i said i helped her get her car, i ment i did put in alittle money but drove back and forth to get it with her. It almost seems like it was better when she didnt have her car because she kind of relied on me. And if she wanted to go places, she had to take public transportation. Now maybe she feels like she doesnt even need me, which i hate to say, but im really still trying to think of anything to be a reason what is wrong. or how she feels exactly.

[IncognitoSir]

Sounds like some good advice, but i dont think she will like being alone at the apartment every night. She slept at her cousins last night while i was at the bar. But i think a big thing is that we both work at the same job I hat to say that but that means we do see each other alot. I can stay at my moms house but i feel bad having her sleep there by herself every night.

Its difficult for you to see this because you're so involved in all of it, but apparently there is nothing you can do to make her happy.
1.helped her get a car
2.moved in an apartment with her to help her living situation
3. gave her space......now she's lonely
4. was support for her in her life when she needed you

After all of that, she's unhappy? Look at the big picture here man. What else can you do? You're at a point in which you're afraid to tell her how you feel. That's no good. You deserve to be happy as well.

[jgreenfield53]

Its difficult for you to see this because you're so involved in all of it, but apparently there is nothing you can do to make her happy.
1.helped her get a car
2.moved in an apartment with her to help her living situation
3. gave her space......now she's lonely
4. was support for her in her life when she needed you

After all of that, she's unhappy? Look at the big picture here man. What else can you do? You're at a point in which you're afraid to tell her how you feel. That's no good. You deserve to be happy as well.

I really dont understand this either. One more thing that i didnt want to mention but i think is a big part of all this....The day after we moved in her doctor called her and told her she had a mild case of genital herpes and so she probably gave it to me. It basically seemed like she was in a bad mood that whole day and she didnt want to explain to me what her doctor told me. But then day after day we would not seem close to eachother and it just seemed like we both got used to it that way. It took afew days before she eventually told me. But i want to get back how we used to feel for eachother. Im going to see the doctor next week to be sure. But we havnt had sex in like a few weeks because i think this kind of disgusted her but i still dont feel like this is the main cause, but it defenitely is a big part of this situation. What do you guys think?