The Ultimate Pick-up
I was at the bowling alley last night. Kind of a bar/night club/bowling alley. Neon lit lanes. Dance music. Tons of alcohol.
A group of hot chicks were playing in the lane adjacent to us. One in particular was absolutely breathtaking. My buds had been hitting on her all night but she was totally frigid. Her ass was to die for. Anyway, I'd just rolled my ball. I turned, saw the chick facing the opposite direction and one of my friends walking by her. So I reached out and grabbed a big handful of glorious buttcheek, then I turned real quick to watch my bowling ball hit the pins.
She spun on her heels, saw my friend passing her and went ballistic on his ass. He was too drunk to mount any kind of inteligible defense. I quickly jumped to her side and apologized for my friend's lewd behavior. I told her it's a shame a pretty girl can't go out on the town without sleazy men--scratch that, immature boys--prodding her like a choice cut of meat. I got her number. She got sloshed. We bumped and grinded to some music.
**** you all. I am the goddamn man.
God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
-Mark Twain
If people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
-Albert Einstein