Need some advices , My own Sad story..

[Tonedeff]

Hi everyone ,

I'm actually new in here , I just needed to tell my story somewhere , to try to get rid of this crappy feeling inside me.

I started University about 8 months ago and at my first day I noticed a pretty cute girl in my class.We quickly met
and I invited her to see a beautiful mountain side of the town.About a week after that we were together.For 8 months
we lived a really pleasant relationship and having a good time.She was always telling me how hard she loved me and
that I was her first real boyfriend(She was really really deeply in love with me)She was texting me every hour to tell me how i missed her.Everything went well for 8 month.Suddenly Wednesday I when to see one of her sport practice and she felt sad , distant.She told me that everything was right and that she was only sad , needed to be alone tonight and that she would be ok tomorrow.After that she didn't text me at all for two consecutive days.I was worried , when to see her at school , she still kissed me but felt distant like never before.Friday , only two days after , I ask her if anything was wrong and at the end if she wanted to end this?."We" (Her mor than I)agreed to break up like that.She was in tears and shaking at this moment...

I can't believe that someone who is deeply( and truly) in love with you SO hard for 8 month can change her mind like that in only two days ? Wednesday I was living the perfect relationship , and today i'm alone.

Afterward , she told me that she kissed another guy during a friend's party Wednesday night.Confirmed by one of my friend that was there.Still , for me a simple kiss under the influence can't turn your mind like that in a day ? Maybe confuse you , but not change all the feelings you had.

I know I wasn't the perfect boyfriend for the last months , but still I haven't done anything that would break up a relation like that in days , and I would have seen it coming instead of deep love a day , alone the next one.

After that I tried to have a talk with her.After 2 min on the phone I made her cry , so I decided to text here instead.I was almost able to put us back together , she wasn't sure but wasn't saying no.After an hour of conversation she finally told me that she decided and that was over.

I'm really overwhelm by this

Thanks for reading me guys , and thank you for your answers.

[MerryH]

What kind of advice are you looking for? I mean, she cheated on you and then broke up with you. End of story, really.

You're not trying to get back together with her, are you?

[Tonedeff]

Never thought a kiss could change your mind quickly like that.For me a simple kiss isn't enough to break up 8 month of love.Unfortunately , I tried , without sucess as I said

[MerryH]

She was probably not feeling 100% confident about your relationship before the kiss, and that's why she allowed herself to cheat on you. Or even if everything was perfect up until then, maybe the guilt is too much for her to bear. Or maybe she realizes that you deserve to be treated better than that, and is letting you go on your way so you can find someone who won't screw you over. The reasons don't really matter anyway, the fact remains that it's over.

[Tonedeff]

Well I think i wished advices on how to deal with that , if there's any way to get back with her.I know she still loves me but she probably feel guilt plus the fact that I havn't been the perfect boyfriend for the last weeks.ANything I can say to try to fix that ? I already told her that I was sorry for things that i did and that I wish an other chance too proove myself.And that i"m not angry about the fact that she kissed another men , because i loved her too much to break our couple for that.She was thinking about it , till I tried to push a bit too much on the reconciliation quickly (2 days after) anythng I can do to get her back , in next weeks ? I know its over but I want to try something , I have nothiing to lose and everything to gain.BUt can't find the good words or things to do.

[MerryH]

You have nothing to lose? That's sort of a selfish attitude to have. Why aren't you worried about her feelings? Do you think she wants to keep rejecting you over and over?

You already tried to get back together, she said no. You should respect that and stop bothering her.

[Tonedeff]

Thank you for NOT supporting me at all and telling me that i'm the bad guy in here , that exactly why I came here to tell my story.

[MerryH]

If you want support and to be told what you want to hear, go to your friends for that. If you want the cold truth, you go to the internet.

And I never implied that you're the bad guy.

[GK001]

If you really love her. respect her choice. even if her choice is the wrong one.

[red_sparrow]

the things that you thought didn't bother her maybe bothered her more than you think.

[Bo]

she cheated on you once, she'll do it again. Alcohol is not an excuse to be morally corrupt. And stop being a dumbass, to be frank. I've dealt with a relationship like this before, felt just like you did but unfortunately it took me 3 years to realize i was a moron for trying. Let it go, why the hell are you trying when she's the one who ****ed up, it makes you look desperate. so stop.

[curly1118]

If she's going to get drunk and kiss another guy while not thinking about how it made you feel then she isn't worth being with in the first place.

People who use alcohol as an excuse to kiss or have sex with someone else are scum.

The drunken lie is often the sober truth.

[kronikkid]

im really sorry about the comments above. Im new here and i find those comments not helpful.

One i am on your side and know you are not the bad person, ive been through many different relationship advice websites which actually give positive feedback and help but usually take at least half a year to reply until i stumbled across this one.

anyway from what ive read on other peoples issues and my own i have learnt that girls can change their minds quickly and make drastic decision without a thought of their partners feelings. people can change quite fast and not always in the best ways. i understand that you would want her back even after her cheating on you, thats love and thats something i would do aswell, its not always a good thing but if it ends well you will feel the best.

all i can say to you is dont stop trying but dont be too persistent, dont make the same mistakes i made although they actually got me back with my girlfriend. dont grovel or show too much weakness but dont lie to yourself about your feelings, show her you truly love her and ask her if she loves you. most likely she will say i dont know but that is not always i bad thing, it means her heart is wavering and confused. help her heart make the right choice which is you but always expect she will do something suprising and like this. also know when to quit as that is something needed if you ever want to get over her. im assuming this girl isnt really the bad type but as i said people can change so always expect the unexpected and avoid heartbreak. and dont rush everything, take your time and do things slowly but not too slowly as she may move on.

Hopefully your relationship will work out better than mine and I wish you luck

[curly1118]

^^^

Our advice isn't helpful? So you would rather hold this guy's hand as opposed to giving him real advice?

Okay. O.o