Girlfriend that wants to talk everything out

[fantasy123]

while talking out problems is good, but at some point, an argument is just not going anywhere because person A disagree with person B's point but person B is convinced that he/she is right.

sometimes I get in a stage with my gf where the things she says just doesn't make sense. the more we talk about it, the angrier she gets and more frustrated I get. But the thing is, shes not the kind of girl that just says "oh forget it, we'll talk about this later" and cool off. she wants things to be resolved with no delay. she will think about it and dwell on it even if we hang up until I call her back, and if I don't call her back in a quick time, she gets more angry because she thinks I don't care. (some of this is passed down from her mom because thats how she is, which I don't agree with but how can I ever be right in that argument???). so it gets hard for me when she lectures me and I don't agree with her but she is set on her ideals because she usually has the backings of her family (which have very different ideals from mine), but she won't give me a breather and she refuse to take one.

its either I eventually give in and let her win and say "yea I'm wrong" but then a lot of times backfires because then I'll go back on my word and it gets worse, but if I don't do it, it never ends... anyone have similar relationship partners? how to deal with that?

[AllenGlines]

That sounds like a serious compatibility issue. Try to see things from her point of view or discuss this matter with her directly. You aren't going to be rid of something that bugs you unless you address it. Avoiding an issue like this one could create serious problems down the road.

[vashti]

She is badgering you. You need to set better boundaries for what sort of behavior you are willing to tolerate. You have a right to require a cool-down period if you are disagreeing about something, and she has no right to insist otherwise.

[sweetkissesforu]

[url=http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-leahy-phd/why-men-dont-listen-to-wo_b_808187.html]Robert Leahy, Ph.D.: Why Men Don't Listen to Women[/url]
Would like people opinion on this Article

[Lukus]

vashti
is right..

However. As frustrating as talking about issues can be, especially if its frequent.. Try being with a girl that won't talk at all. Yes I am a guy, and saying this, ironic hah..Doesn't really sound like the same issues I had with my ex but at least she will open up to you and talk, the opposite isn't better. But still, it does seem like something is up, if these arguments are happening constantly doesnt sound like either of you are happy.

[Emerald_Dreams]

sometimes I get in a stage with my gf where the things she says just doesn't make sense.

That's because she's not operating on logic, reason, and sense. She's operating on emotion. You see, for a lot of women, "feelings" = absolute truth. This is why it's so hard for men to communicate with women some time. Some women are worse than others.

But remember: You don't have to spend your life catering to her feelings. Always remember that in any relationship you are in. Relationships are 50/50, not all about her.

she will think about it and dwell on it even if we hang up until I call her back, and if I don't call her back in a quick time, she gets more angry because she thinks I don't care.

Sounds like she's using her "feelings" to manipulate you, control you, and keep you on the defensive.

so it gets hard for me when she lectures me

What is she, your ****ing mother? I would kick her out of my life in a heartbeat and fine someone better.

but she won't give me a breather and she refuse to take one.

She's machine-gunning you man - let me guess, her mouth goes a mile a minute and you can't even get a word in edge-wise, right? Let me guess: You get to a point where you can't even THINK of anything to say, you're very confused and disoriented, right? Get rid of her: She's verbally abusing you.

anyone have similar relationship partners?

Yes.

how to deal with that?

You dump them and fine a woman who's easier to deal with, that's what.

[reeba]

so she argues till u see things her way. she never lets anything slide and she has a long memory. and you just evevntually give in so she will shut up.

that is called nagging. i don't think there is any guy out there that finds that endearing. it is a big reason for divorce. and i bet she doesn't pick her battles (just fight over the stuff that is worthy of a fight). i bet even after you give in, she is still talking about why she is right. my mom does that, and my dad usually says 'yes she is being a bitch but do what she says so she will shutup'. (actually mom is OK, but she is very opinionated, and won't drop a topic, i just learned to walk away and not take car drives with her if she is on her soapbox)

you could tell her what she is doing. and i will tell you right now, she won't change. it is her personallity, not a learned trait or habit. so my advice is to just tell her why your relationship isn't working, and LEAVE immediately (or else your life's coin phrase will be, yes she is a bitch but just do what she says so she will shut up). Don't stick around and discuss why the relationship dissoved, cause she will just nag you into seeing why it is all your fault.

and what is this BS that you have a fight on the phone, you hang up, and if you don't call her back pronto she is even more angry. i'm on the verge of calling this girl imature and crazy. so do crazy girls = crazy sex? because i'm clueless on why you are with her.

[Emerald_Dreams]

Reeba is correct. Nagging is a form of abuse and it's a way to control someone else.

DUDE, PLEASE LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW .... do you want what you're going through to be the REST of your LIFE? GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Reeba, crazy girls do = crazy sex, but that's really all they're good for.

Start to distance yourself from her emotionally, so you stop caring to put up a fight with her. Start doing whatever you want to do and don't listen to her; walk out on her mid-sentence when she starts an argument. Once you've deadened yourself to her her emotionally, it will be much easier to cut the cord and go no contact. Try to have another girl lined up if you think you might worry about or feel sorry for your current g/f.

[HeartIsAching]

so do crazy girls = crazy sex? because i'm clueless on why you are with her.

How ridiculous. Every man knows that women are crazy. Every one of 'em.

[Incognito]

while talking out problems is good, but at some point, an argument is just not going anywhere because person A disagree with person B's point but person B is convinced that he/she is right.

sometimes I get in a stage with my gf where the things she says just doesn't make sense. the more we talk about it, the angrier she gets and more frustrated I get. But the thing is, shes not the kind of girl that just says "oh forget it, we'll talk about this later" and cool off. she wants things to be resolved with no delay. she will think about it and dwell on it even if we hang up until I call her back, and if I don't call her back in a quick time, she gets more angry because she thinks I don't care. (some of this is passed down from her mom because thats how she is, which I don't agree with but how can I ever be right in that argument???). so it gets hard for me when she lectures me and I don't agree with her but she is set on her ideals because she usually has the backings of her family (which have very different ideals from mine), but she won't give me a breather and she refuse to take one.

its either I eventually give in and let her win and say "yea I'm wrong" but then a lot of times backfires because then I'll go back on my word and it gets worse, but if I don't do it, it never ends... anyone have similar relationship partners? how to deal with that?

I haven't read the rest of the responses yet, but it seems that your difference in values/ideals is really the root of the problem. If you two clash on such a basic level its no wonder that she wants to resolve the issue and it comes up often. I don't know exactly what issue you are dealing with but I have seen couples where the woman believes in marriage and commitment and the man did not. THAT was a huge problem where her family tried to pressure him and the couple argued about it a lot. In the end it didn't work. That is part of the process for choosing someone to build a relationship with (sharing basic values/principles). What exactly is the issue (or issues) that you two argue about?

[girl68]

I'm agreeing with the above. I think the issue mainly here is that how she is raised is how she intends for you to conform to. She will have her children raised no other way (I'll bet) so unless you can magically get her to see (not necessarily agree with an alternate view) I think you're in an uphill and losing battle. Girls like this often will never give it up.