Is boyfriends Porn watching excessive?

[boldblondie]

My and my BF have a wonderful relationship and a fantastic sex life. I am very open sexually--I'm even bisexual, in which we have discussed many fantasies, watch porn together on a regular basis and I like watching porn with him. My question is that since I am so open to watching porn and we watch it together, why would he watch it without me? He has told me that he has watched porn for years and masturbated to it a lot, b/c he went like 3 1/2 years without being with a woman, and he has also done so in prior relationships as those relationships were not as sexually satisfying as ours. He says that the amount he watches and the amount he masturbates is less than it has ever been, and he says that when he does masturbate, he does not like to "orgasm" without me but simply enjoys touching his self and getting him self excited. But the other night I went to bed before he did, and I got up and and I knew what he was doing but he played it off, and then its like he waited until he knew I was asleep before he resumed. We did discuss this and he told me it was b/c he was ashamed and that never before in a relationship has it been "acceptable" from his prior GF, so it is a matter of habit. I told him that it was not so much that he was watching porn as it was that he was tying to hide it from me...which is a trust and honesty matter, but honestly it did bother me.

If he was horny, and knew I was awake why did he not come to the bedroom, why did he try to deceive me and then then wait until I was asleep to resume his viewing? I mean, I have a very high drive and being woken up for sex is never a problem actually I like it, unless I am so sleepy I just can't wake up. But this is not our first problem with this, a couple of months ago, I went out of town and he told me had a watched "some" porn while I was gone..which I was fine with but then I got our bill and he watch like 200.00 worth over 3 days!!! He again, said he was ashamed and that's why he did not tell me how much he had ordered, and of course he paid for it but that seemed like he was pent up in the house watching porn for 3 days straight. Whats up with that?

So I understand him watching while I am away, but why when I am in the next room and I am as sexual as I am why would he not come and initiate with me? I mean hey, I will check it out when I am by myself and masturbate as well, but not when he is home, If I do watch it when he's home Id be watching it with him I don't have the desire to watch it alone if I know he is there? So guys please explain.

[sweetkissesforu]

You are a fence sitter on one side oh hunny its ok to watch porn then on the other side it bothers you he is not going to change now that you except it

[doppelgaenger]

because guys like to masturbate alone in private sometimes. is there something wrong with that?

[smackie9]

Guys like variety, so masturbation just gives them a different feel. They like their private time for a quick release instead of having to worrying about satsifying someone else. I think it's hot....that's my two cents.

[lovenInsp]

Masturbation to porn gives variety and sometimes it just simpler than a full on sex session

[Yet another guy]

Your boyfriends porn watching isn't excessive. And since your sex life is fantastic, you don't have a problem either.
I've been without a woman for all my life so I can see how it can become a habit.

[HeartIsAching]

First off, your boyfriend's porn watching isn't excessive, it's pretty normal.

But I have a few questions...

First off, if your sex life is good, why are you worrying about it? Is he failing to satisfy you? If not, what is it, a control issue?

Second... pay for porn? $200.00 for porn?! Has he never heard of the internet?!

[doppelgaenger]

If I had the money to throw away, I would pay $200 for porn.

[SelflessnHumble]

Your "openness" concerning sex has bitten you on the ass.
Your fantastic sex life has porn origins implicated in his own openness and performance, yet THIS is why you cannot have expectations in your relationship...
What if he wasn't down with you being *Bi?* What would you say to that? Would you give up your own sexual preferences/choices just for one guy?

He is a sex addict, and needs sexual pleasure constantly.
He's kinda a bonehead for PAYING for porn but that's just me.
If he is ashamed at watching porn, masturbating (in the same home) but in different rooms with his partner:

He is also hiding many other things from you: and the only way you will find out is if he goofs and you FIND them out on your own.

[boldblondie]

yes, we do have internet...but we have shitty ass hugh's net, so when he view's on his ipod it takes up download allowance and that particullare weekend he used it all up and then resorted to the direct TV which resulted in 200.00 worth.

[boldblondie]

If I had the money to throw away, I would pay $200 for porn.

We don't have the money to throw away....that was part of the problem. It reminded me of my drug addicted ex-husband who used to spend money we did not have. But he did pay for it not me....but it still affects our household money.

[boldblondie]

Your "openness" concerning sex has bitten you on the ass.
Your fantastic sex life has porn origins implicated in his own openness and performance, yet THIS is why you cannot have expectations in your relationship...
What if he wasn't down with you being *Bi?* What would you say to that? Would you give up your own sexual preferences/choices just for one guy?

He is a sex addict, and needs sexual pleasure constantly.
He's kinda a bonehead for PAYING for porn but that's just me.
If he is ashamed at watching porn, masturbating (in the same home) but in different rooms with his partner:

He is also hiding many other things from you: and the only way you will find out is if he goofs and you FIND them out on your own.

I don't know sometimes I think the same way.....is there something else he is hiding? And if he is ashamed and tried to hide porn from me....what makes me believe he would be straight up with me on something serious....like him cheating???? Sometimes I get this feeling that I can't shake. But not sure if it is real or just me being paranoid...b/c my ex-husband was a lying drug addict who hid his drug addiction until it reared its ugly head. So not sure if it is real intuition or if its paranoia.

Also another quick question for you guys....do you really look at chicks and think about having sex with them. My bf says yes, but yall don't act on it..why is that. I don't ever look at a guy and say "wow he is hot...wonder what it be like to jump his bones" I have no desire to be with anyone other than my BF.

[warriormaiden]

I can never understand why women get so offended when they find out their boyfriends like to masturbate without them. I actually condone it. Sometimes, you just want to have fun on your own. Is that such a HUGE BIG DEAL? Jeez, relax.

I think the reason why he's hiding the porn from you, is because he realizes he has a problem and is ashamed of it. Come on, $200 bucks for porn in three days? That's not cool. That sounds a bit excessive. If he knows about your ex husband, then he understands how much your ex's addiction has affected you, and doesn't want to bring you back through that again with his addiction, so he's trying to hide it.
That's what I'm getting.

[vashti]

I don't have as much of an issue with the fact that he likes to masturbate alone (there isn't any need to satisfy a woman that way), but I would have a BIG problem with him spending $200 you don't have on it, and I think the fact that he has such little self control is indicative of a real issue.

[sweetkissesforu]

I don't have as much of an issue with the fact that he likes to masturbate alone (there isn't any need to satisfy a woman that way), but I would have a BIG problem with him spending $200 you don't have on it, and I think the fact that he has such little self control is indicative of a real issue.

Her 1st husband was addicted to drugs maybe hubby 2 is addicted to porn 200 dollars is excessive