Completely Numb Right Now

[Petit Papillon]

She should be dead to you. You can't resurrect dead people.

[xxazurexx]

Just make sure you don't do anything you regret. God...the things I nearly did and thought about doing...*yikes*

[xxazurexx]

She should be dead to you. You can't resurrect dead people.

If only it was as easy as that Petit...

Unfortunately feelings can't be switched off, like a lightbulb can

[Petit Papillon]

If only it was as easy as that Petit...

Unfortunately feelings can't be switched off, like a lightbulb can

That's why he's coming here,so people who look at it from the side can tell him that this girl is no good, you know? He was here long enough to know that we are always right. Why? Cause we aren't sides of those stories, we just give him objective advice . Of course you can't switch off feelings but he knows exactly how it's going to be. There is anybody in this world that could forgive and FORGET such thing. He won't forget it and if he continues this "reletionship aka big freaking joke" ,it's going to fall down anyway. If things are bad and heading down the road, there is no force to stop it, you can just prolong the pain, but is it worth it?

[misombra]

hells yeah i'd be angry too! what the f is her deal?

[xxazurexx]

Actually and when thinking about it Petit, he should have no problem thinking of her as dead, you are right. She .led a double life, engaged to another man and gonna be married and all behind his back. If this was me in that situation, I could think of him as 'dead' no problem. I'd have just cut him off and out of my life.

[Petit Papillon]

Of course. This whole relationship was a big farce, why not pretend as well that she's dead?

[SelflessnHumble]

Post #157 sounds a bit ironic, doesn't it? You make the distinction as to why people stay with abusive people: Yet
you seemingly fail to see SHE has also abused you.

Post #158- was hard for me to read...
She didn't take responsibility for what she CHOSE to do, and sadly...You've also
seemingly put the burden on Craig with:
"Many aspects of our relationship that have troubled me over the years are allegedly related to Craig's interference."

Craig didn't interfere and this isn't 4th grade all over again Vince. Meaning:
She willingly chose to be around him and happily stayed. She never even TRIED to leave him! Action shows intent.

Her actions tell me she intended to LIE to you as long as she needed to without a single regard for your feelings!

Conditions... like, she moves out of Craig's place. That's mandatory, nobody should date a person still living with an abusive ex. If her story holds water, then she should get a restraining order against him, and I'd like to see it. Before I have sex with her again, it would be nice to see that she has been tested for STDs, since she insisted on that before we started having sex in 2004. If she objects and finds these conditions burdensome, that's cool, I will date other women instead.

Maybe that's just the anger talking, but even the best possible interpretation of her story means that some jealous rival has been secretly threatening me for years now. Yeah, I still care about her, though maybe I won't in a couple of months. But if I do still care about her months from now, then I would be cautiously willing to give her another chance. If she doesn't think that I'm worth the effort, to hell with her.

You had previously stated that you would want time to yourself to squeeze in a few meaningless Flings, so
you dating other women was your 1st intent, not dependent on whether Amy meets these conditions, or not?

Of course you care, you'd be inhuman not to...Cognitive Dissonance.
She never thought you were "worth the effort" (before) out of her numerous lies, and inaction.
Even now it's quite clear she doesn't know how to affirm her supposed love for you -this should speak volumes- (to you)

This hasn't to do with a "rival" secretly threatening you...None.
THIS is about a conniving, vicious yet unassuming woman who took you to the cleaners every day of your life,
spitting on your face, and taking a huge, monumental dump of ginormous proportions on your heart because she simply
COULD and was exceedingly efficient at doing it too...

There is nothing wrong with feeling Angry!
However there is something amiss when someone allows that anger to control themselves, and to manifest
in broken inanimate objects/hurting other people. You will never get the actual truth concerning what really
went down because those two are both manipulating cowards, which is why they were able to bond as they
did despite her "story" -We all know who writes "HIS-story" Vince- The one who is more convincing, or
the "winner" between her and Craig (psychologically)

This is the price to pay being with "damaged" people.
At first glance it "feels" great to help those in need, but in the end the mask comes off
and their true intent is revealed for you and all to see...Good luck and stand your ground.

[Starry Night]

My question is, how much longer would she have continued this lie? If Craig never would have come over his place, he would still have no idea. Have you asked her when she was going to tell you this?

I'm thinking Craig was just as duped. If he was this threatening controlling guy, he easily could have made some anonymous phone calls/emails/letters after enough snooping. I think his whole purpose in showing up at your place was to gauge your reaction and to see if Amy's story matched up.

[SelflessnHumble]

My question is, how much longer would she have continued this lie? If Craig never would have come over his place, he would still have no idea. Have you asked her when she was going to tell you this?

I'm thinking Craig was just as duped. If he was this threatening controlling guy, he easily could have made some anonymous phone calls/emails/letters after enough snooping. I think his whole purpose in showing up at your place was to gauge your reaction and to see if Amy's story matched up.

Already posted be several members, thanks though.

[VincenzoG91]

My question is, how much longer would she have continued this lie? If Craig never would have come over his place, he would still have no idea. Have you asked her when she was going to tell you this?

I'm thinking Craig was just as duped. If he was this threatening controlling guy, he easily could have made some anonymous phone calls/emails/letters after enough snooping. I think his whole purpose in showing up at your place was to gauge your reaction and to see if Amy's story matched up.

Craig isn't innocent. I sent him a final text to tell him that it was over, and I didn't want any further contact with either of them so I could move on. He sent me several more text messages, asking me increasingly invasive details about my final talk with Amy. I said enough, because I have zero time for a control freak like that. By the final message from him, I was on the verge of driving over and punching his face in. And my neighbor has a really bad feeling about Craig, saying that the guy seemed very shady. My neighbor has pestered me all week about getting the locks changed, including the building door, so I finally contacted the landlord and offered to pay for it. And the way he drove all the way across town to "thank" me for taking care of that car repair was dishonest as hell.

I am extremely angry right now.

[VincenzoG91]

Don't make me mad dude, if you even think about taking her back after she did something like this, spare further posts and advices here on LF, cause they wouldn't mean anything good and correct. This bitch should be out of your life forever!

Are you threatening me? I don't care if you are a mod here, your post is out of line. If you bounce me out Loveforum because I'm not following specific advice here, you are setting a dangerous precedent that will drive members away.

[misombra]

kinda the same thing happened with my sister. my sister found a piece of paperwork that attached her husband to a rental. she went there, nobody was home, but there was a note on the door from a girl. "(ex husbands name), can't wait to see you again baby see you later honey." or some shit.

ugh, disgusting.

[vertical_sky]

Hey Vince,

Please don't feel I, or anyone else here, is attacking you. I think perhaps we are all just worried about you and the situation.

As I said before... maybe Craig IS a creepy abusive controlling freak. But that doesn't make his story a LIE. He doesn't NEED to be an angel for her to still be a lying, manipulative bitch.

I feel like right now, you're trying to explain away her behavior by placing the blame on him. I'm getting the impression he is becoming The Villain in your mind. You state over and over he's sending you multiple texts, which is PROOF he's controlling... Instead of maybe granting that he's also just had a very serious emotional blow, and isn't in a rational frame of mind. Maybe obsessive texts are his way of coping, not a sign that he's controlling.

After all-you sent your friend out searching for details on HIM. Details that certainly straddle the line of private information. Would it be fair to call you a stalker? Or obsessed with him? No. Yet if someone took JUST that behavior out of context, that might be what it looked like.

I get it. If Craig is controlling, or somehow a horrible guy, then it vindicates Amy. It justifies all the horrible things she did and makes her someone to be saved. If her story is true, then Craig is the problem. If Craig goes away, then no more problems. Then Amy is rescued from the Big Bad Villain, and you don't feel as if you've had the wool pulled over your eyes by someone you love.

But I just don't think the truth is that black and white. Craig MAY be controlling.... but you can't know. No matter how much your neighbor has a "gut" instinct, and no matter how much you think you can discern of his character through one week of text conversation, you cannot really know the "truth" of Amy's accusations.

Stop focusing on Craig. He is not the problem. He's a handy Straw Man, something that Amy threw up that may or may not be the truth as to why she treated you as horribly as she did.

The TRUTH is that she lied to you. The TRUTH is that even if Craig is controlling and abusive, he is NOT your problem. He is AMY'S problem. You cannot rescue her. You cannot allow yourself to see her as the victim so long as she continues to perpetuate the problem. Only she can save herself. That means, for the present, you can only deal with HER. Forget Craig. Forget digging up details on him. Whatever his role, SHE is the one that lied to you. Period.

[Petit Papillon]

Are you threatening me? I don't care if you are a mod here, your post is out of line. If you bounce me out Loveforum because I'm not following specific advice here, you are setting a dangerous precedent that will drive members away.

Whatever... I'm not threatening you lol. I just try to talk you out of making a mistake lol, don't make me laugh Vince

PS. I will not ban you but I'm sure me and other members, if you go back with this psycho, will stop to threat you and your advices serious, cause going back to so obviously bad person is worse than a stupid mistake. It's what maybe a teenage by would do and not a grown up man. and it's not like you are with such a woman for the first time so you should already know that you have to go away.