male thoughts need ASAP

[CrzyKoi]

last Friday my fiancee told me we should go separate ways saying he didnt know what he wanted and that he was confused. for a week he didnt want to spend time with me or talk to me when i'd bring up wedding plan he was change the subject and leave, i got tired of not knowing so i asked him if he did want to marry me that's when i got that. Then yesterday after ignoring me most of the time he calls me up and says we need to talk he then tells me he likes me but he thinks its best we go separate ways for now that he needs to think about being in a serious relationship.

i dont think he listened to anything i said to him after i spoke he continued on like i hadn't said anything, tell me how sorry he was and that if it changes it changes if it doesn't it doesn't.

he was engaged before and she broke it off because she fell out of love with him could he be scared i'll do the same thing? is he wanting me to fight for him? is he having cold feet and running scared?

I need to know i'm letting him have his space but i need to talk to him and make him listen to me. just want him back i miss him so much. we never had a fight we got along great he always knew how to cheer me up and i was there for him as a friend when he needed one.

plz help i need my heart back.

[Take2]

You cannot MAKE him listen to you. If you try, you will drive him further away (assuming that is possible). You need to start making peace with the fact that he may be gone forever. You need to decide whether you will be OK with leaping back into his arms when he comes back and says never mind and wants to pick up where you left off. You need to focus on what you have control over, leave him alone to deal with his issues without chasing him or acting desperate. If he comes back or he doesn't, you freaking out and weeping and begging will not do nice things for your relationship. Stay cool. And don't tell him emo things like "whenever you decide to come back to me, I will be waiting for you." If he approaches you about anything, let him know that he has some important thinking to do, you are giving him his space to do it. Once he decides what he wants, you can talk to decide if moving forward together is in BOTH of your best interests. This will let him know in a calm way that he has screwed up his sure thing, and there will be some work on both sides to make this work if y'all decide to take it forward together.

[mesmark]

I'd say give him the tough love. Tell him that you love him and you want to be with him. But if he's going to be a child, you need to find a man. Not a strong showing for a guy who proposed. He can take all the time he needs but you're not. We never like to hear that our interest is going back on the market. Tell him that you certainly hope he comes around, but you're going to have to do what's best for you.

It sucks but maybe you do have to head back out there. I don't think there's any need to "fight" for him. Better now than a few years from now when a divorce and failed marriage will have eaten up some prime years of your life.

[thundersw]

I think he's being assertive with you, he decided he's not prepared. You should respect that at the very least.
If he decided it's best to go seperate ways, then probably it is, maybe he does not picture himself together with you for life, for some reason I can't get from your post.
Better not to be married than to be part of the sad divorce statistics.
If you really like him give him more time, don't push it you may lose everything.

[CrzyKoi]

Ok let me stress this point have not nor am i "freaking out and weeping and begging" he came to me I told him my feelings to which he made no reply to. I've not make contact with him I've left that to him, all i do is give a greeting when with our friends

"We never like to hear that our interest is going back on the market." i highly doubt that will work, he is looking for a reason to drop his excuses and leave fully, he leaves a room after 20 minutes or less if i'm in the same room as him, he avoids looking and being with in 90 inches from me, the closes we've been since the day he broke it off is a crossed the room.

"he's being assertive with you, he decided he's not prepared. You should respect that at the very least" you think, he's scared at this same point in his last relationship she left him, he's not prepared that i wouldn't leave like she did that i truly love him. He holds alot of respect from me, and I'm giving him time.

the things i'm wondering most is how much time should i give before i go to him, if what i see his actions words true he's still in love with me but fighting it and trying to fall out of love by pushing me away and staying as far from me as he can get.

[thundersw]

Well that's a f***ed up behaviour, he should have some balls.
Just because is ex left him in this state and he truly loves you, is he fighting himself for something he proposed of doing? That's not a man.
You shouldn't wait for it, get moving, he must accept your current state if he decides to go back (again) with his word.

[mesmark]

Well, it doesn't sound like he's afraid you'll leave/hurt him. It sounds like he's still in love with the other girl or in love with another girl.

If you're willing to hang around until he comes around, then that's your choice, but my advice would be to move on. He may be great,but if he's not great to you, find someone who will be.