Texting Dilemma

[atodd]

I know this may seem silly (since it's texting). But, in general, what does it mean if a guy texts you first and then either doesn't reply, or replies with short responses?

I've tried not to contact him first, but if I do, he either takes a while to respond or replies with short responses, again.

Our background is in this thread (if you need more info):
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/49042-my-teenage-dream.html[/url]

I just don't want to be naive!

[Gratedwasabi]

I know this may seem silly (since it's texting). But, in general, what does it mean if a guy texts you first and then either doesn't reply, or replies with short responses?

I've tried not to contact him first, but if I do, he either takes a while to respond or replies with short responses, again.

Our background is in this thread (if you need more info):
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/49042-my-teenage-dream.html[/url]

I just don't want to be naive!

Give me some details of what was said and I can give you a better idea. It can be a lot of things.

Also, I TOLD YOU TO MAKE HIM COME TO YOU! Don't make me come over there!

[atodd]

Haha. I promise I've been trying to do that!

The night I got back to school, though, I was feeling really bummed out and lonely in general (not about the guy). So, in a moment of weakness (and because I'm used to talking to him about my issues), I just texted him that I was already depressed to be back. Two day later, he said:
John: "How you doing?"
Me: "I'm fine. I just got bummed my first night. I did unblock [my ex] last night and regretted it, ha. But, I think I've gotten over that too. You?"
John: "Fine. I don't have internet so I can't check fbook."
Me: "Why don't you have internet?"
John: "Don't know. somethings wrong."
Me: "Well, you're def not missing out on fbook. I want to delete mine. I talked to Sarah for a while yesterday, though!" (Sarah is our mutual friend who is teaching English in Hungary right now)
*no response*

Then, on Thursday (I know, I shouldn't have...my friend encouraged it), I just said:
Me: "Hey, what's up?"
John: "Not much. What's up"
Me: "I no longer have Friday classes this semester (success). Might go get margaritas with Caroline later. Do y'all get Monday off too?"
John: "why would we?"
Me: "MLK day. I'm pretty sure y'all would...you should go do something fun!"
John: "Will do!"

Blah. I know, i know.. no more contacting on my part. It's just odd, because we ended it on a good note. I didn't get the impression that he was annoyed by me or anything like that.
Also, when I talked to our mutual friend online (Sarah), she said some really encouraging things. Here are a few:

"Its just funny because he has talked to me about liking you before"

"yeah we talked about that too
but I think he really wants to be over it, just takes time
he knows that he doesnt want to be in that relationship anymore"

"basically he doesnt want to be in that relationship and its just taking time to get over it"

"he doesnt want to be one of those people that dont move on the right way
totally...I think its wonderful of him to realize that
well I thinks its super cute"

"I dont think so, hes an honest person. In my opinion he probably just doesnt want to upset your mom and especially not your brother so hes seeing how things are going to work out
ya know?"

"Um...well most of us knew he had a crush on you"

[Gratedwasabi]

Well, I'm going to be honest.. something's fishy with his replies. They're very, very short and terse. I will say that you mentioning your ex, especially unblocking him, was a bonehead move. Slap yourself for that one.. why would you mention your ex to the guy you like? Let alone letting him back into your life to some degree? Definite no no.

I'm not sure what the deal is and unfortunately there's no way for you to find out at this point. Listen to me. Please, for the love of everything. Do not text him until he texts you. Period. I don't care what your friend says, I don't care what anyone else says, DO NOT TEXT HIM AGAIN UNTIL HE TEXTS YOU! And when he does, make him wait at least a few hours. This is the best advice anyone will give you for this situation. Wait. W-a-i-t.

He might just be busy back to school, who knows. It's playoffs so if he's a football guy there's that, lol. But really, if he cares about you and you don't text him for a week after saying you were bummed and he doesn't text you to see how you're doing, he's a douche. Regardless of what you think of him, if he doesn't check up on you after your time together while at home and after you mentioned you were bummed, you deserve better. There's no legit excuse for not taking 10 seconds to send a text.

W-A-I-T.

[atodd]

Okay.

I get where you'd think the ex thing was dumb... but we both turned to each other during our break ups. He always asked about him when we hung out, and I asked about his ex. Idk.

I would just like for us to at least go back to being friends again if things aren't going to work out romantically. Our friend, Sarah, said that she has no doubts that we'd be fine either way. I guess time will tell...and patience. Hah...I desperately need that.

I shall chill!

[Gratedwasabi]

Okay.

I get where you'd think the ex thing was dumb... but we both turned to each other during our break ups. He always asked about him when we hung out, and I asked about his ex. Idk.

I would just like for us to at least go back to being friends again if things aren't going to work out romantically. Our friend, Sarah, said that she has no doubts that we'd be fine either way. I guess time will tell...and patience. Hah...I desperately need that.

I shall chill!

Well, you're trying to turn the corner into romance. Thusly, exs are now not a subject of conversation. That's how it works when you go from friends to more, you cross a magical line and all the rules change.

No bringing up ex, girly!

And be patient. Jeez! Men can sense the vibe you're giving off right now from hundreds of miles and we flee the opposite direction.

It'll be fine. Make the dude come to you.

[Nice Lover Boy]

Hi guys, I've been in a situation like this. Lets just say that I was John in this situation and you were my sisters close friend.
I really wanted something with my sister's friend but the fact that they were very close friends, like "besties" and shit, I did not want to be in a relationship with her because this would ruin things between my sister and her if we would ever break up.
Despite the fact that I never kissed her(like you did wth John), and the fact that I did intentionally embraced my arms around her like lovers do because we were having a good time, I yielded to proceed something more. I planned to kiss her because I too had that sexual tension, but for some outrages reason, I was too scared too. I had many chances too because we both would try and be alone from my sister and the pile of friends.
But, John kissed you because he wanted too at least released his side of tensure too. I can't tell you if it will go further then what you got but if John ever gets desperate where he can't hold that tention any longer, he'll start sending flirtatious txt messages again like he last did.
Right now the reason why he is not motivated in the text messages is because he is now listening to what your family has said and it does make him feel awkwardly. I know.
But now if you ask me if I ever regret no kissing my sister's friend, my answer is I don't regret it because she moved on and so did I.
I wish you luck.

[Gratedwasabi]

And don't worry, atodd, it'll be fine. He likes you, he's probably either busy and/or worrying about whether it would work with your brother as his friend, etc. Let him be a guy, worry about stupid stuff, and then get emo 'cuz you're not texting him and come running to you.

I hate games but, unfortunately, in this case it's your best call. It'll work out, one way or another. Don't worry!!!

[atodd]

Note to self: drinking wine makes it harder to resist.
(I have not texted him...but it is oh, so tempting)

[Gratedwasabi]

Note to self: drinking wine makes it harder to resist.
(I have not texted him...but it is oh, so tempting)

Believe me, I know the feeling. Be a stronger person then I and avoid the temptation. I drank too much wine tonight and texted the girl that dumped me for no real reason other then masochism.

In your situation, I really feel like it's important to let him evaluate things and miss you. And he will. When you keep texting him first, it makes you seem very available and like he doesn't need to really confront his own mental situation, meaning he's content to continue as is. You want him to miss you and realize that.

Delete his number from your phone if it helps. Be strong. I'm apparently awful at dating but I'm really good with the concept. LOL!

[Nice Lover Boy]

He won't text back unless he wants to start something emtional with you.

[atodd]

So.. he facebook chatted me first.. only said a few things...and then abruptly signed off (without saying bye or anything).

He is entirely way too confusing.

[cellarghosts]

His replies do seem pretty short. And it seems people would usually be more detailed/interested when texting someone they like. He could just be a man of few words though.

[atodd]

His replies do seem pretty short. And it seems people would usually be more detailed/interested when texting someone they like. He could just be a man of few words though.

Or, maybe it's just because we've known each other for so long? It's not like he's trying to get to know me or something. Plus, he knows how I feel about him. hah
Idk. Ugh.

[Nice Lover Boy]

He is doing what I would do....that's keeping himself on your mind and he is doing it purposely so you can keep thinking about him.
I bet if you told him that you meant somebody, he would feel like he lost and would start trying to find out who you are talking to with you knowing.