What does it mean when a man doesn’t mind other women doing certain things...

[SecretlySad]

but has a problem with HIS girl doing them?

My boyfriend always comments on what clothes he thinks are sexy on women, but if I go out wearing the same thing he becomes furious and asks me who I am trying to impress.

He used to date a stripper, but when I told him I wanted to do a pole dancing FITNESS class he got angry.

One of my friends wants a boob job. Her husband loves big breasts but he doesn’t want HER to have them.

Are these insecure people who believe they will lose their women i.e. we may discover the grass could be greener?

I don’t like being treated like a child, feeling like I can’t do or wear certain things without first getting “approval” from my partner. Why can’t he be secure in our relationship?

[sweetkissesforu]

These are insecure men

[dguywithabeard]

He might love women in mini-dresses and fantasize about strippers, but does he respect their life-style? Sometimes men are not so "pure" and have trouble being like that. Their "solution" is to transfer that "purity" upon their spouse. He kind of idolizes an image of you that makes him feel less guilty with who he is. He doesn't want you to touch that. You don't want to be treated like a kid, so you must act adult. Talk to him, explain, reassure, and ultimately do what you believe works for YOU and is reasonable.

[SecretlySad]

He kind of idolizes an image of you that makes him feel less guilty with who he is. He doesn't want you to touch that.

So I am supposed to give up things that make me feel good – e.g. dressing nice and wanting to take a fun class with my girlfriends – to make HIM feel good?

[dguywithabeard]

Of course not. It helps to understand why are partners are acting as they are. It doesn't excuse their actions or limit ours. Once you understand it, you can make him understand that if he loves you, he loves a woman who likes to dress up in a certain style. The hear him out.

[girl68]

Remember you pole dancing thread? Remember how many said he's controlling- yeah exactly- CONTROLLING.

[warriormaiden]

I agree with the previous poster. They may have dirty thoughts about other women, but that doesn't mean that they respect them. They probably want to keep a certain image of you in mind, so they'll feel more innocent about themselves.

It also sounds like there's some control issues happening as well.

Ank, if it was me, I would just broken up with them. How fricken dare you tell me what I can and can not wear, you ass!

[vashti]

I don’t like being treated like a child, feeling like I can’t do or wear certain things without first getting “approval” from my partner.

If this is what you REALLY want, then why don't you lose your current daddy-boyfriend, and find someone who treats you as an equal?

[SelflessnHumble]

What does it mean when a man doesn’t mind other women doing certain things...but has a problem with HIS girl doing them?

No matter what kind of excuse you get from this hollow/poor example of a man:
he's got issues and because he doesn't trust you: he pushes his insecurity onto you, the one he SHOULD trust.

See, a relationship isn't about giving up what you like to make someone else happy, ok?
A relationship (like life) is all about variable change and how we handle it within our circle of life.
If he cannot practice what he preaches: you will be dealing with *his* issues for an eternity.

Common sense: a Woman likes to go out looking her best for many vain reasons, attention is #1 (usually)
He doesn't seem to have a problem looking, but has an issue with other men looking at you -his woman.

People who *think* they can dictate terms of a relationship/people's choices to make HIM happy
will never meet his high level of expectation(s)

I don’t like being treated like a child, feeling like I can’t do or wear certain things without first getting “approval” from my partner. Why can’t he be secure in our relationship?

(1) Why can't YOU pick better men to be with? While everyone has their flaws: controlling machismo jerk-offs shouldn't be at
the top of your list, should it?

(2) How ironic...YOU want him to change for YOU just as he wants you to change for him, do you see that?

(3) Last, if you don't like being treated like a child -then act like a mature adult/woman -not like a passive aggressive
pet cattle who irrationally reacts to other people's behaviors emotionally rather than reasonably sitting down with this guy and tell him how it makes you feel when HE does _______ to you.

If he invalidates your feeling: this means he doesn't respect you.
If he doesn't respect you and you *choose* to stay with him: your message was sent and delivered:

"I like to be controlled and told what to do and I have no issue with that."

It also means you have zero place to complain about it due to your tacit agreement of his treatment.

[blent]

He does sound controlling... but he also has a right to worry.

[VincenzoG91]

Let's say a wife wanted to do all these things: breast enlargement surgery, sexy clothes, pole-dancing class. Wouldn't a guy be reasonably concerned that his wife wants so much attention from other guys? Wouldn't a woman trying that hard come across as insecure or desperate?

[xxazurexx]

Perhaps we should just all walk around with a sack over our heads.

If I wanted to walk around in a short dress...I would.
Get a tit job....I would

If he was so insecure he couldn't trust me, his problem!

If you don't trust me, you don't have to stay with me.

[VincenzoG91]

That's it xxazurexx, I'm dumping you.

[xxazurexx]

^LOL, you probably wouldn't dump me though and because a man can 100 per cent trust me and you would know you could. None of my partners didn't ever 'not' trust me and because they got no good cause nor reason, not to trust me. Despite the fact that once upon a time I may have walked around in short dresses, uhm sometimes still do...if I'm with a guy, I'm with HIM and I never leave his side if I'm out in public. He gets 100% my attention always and.I'm fawning over HIM, not other men

[SelflessnHumble]

Let's say a wife wanted to do all these things: breast enlargement surgery, sexy clothes, pole-dancing class. Wouldn't a guy be reasonably concerned that his wife wants so much attention from other guys? Wouldn't a woman trying that hard come across as insecure or desperate?

You can swing this any way to arrive at a point of view.
A beautiful woman will garner attention from men no matter what she wears. (natural beauty)

2nd, I know a handful of women who don't have daddy issues, weren't sexually abused, aren't insecure but just love the attention they receive...
(just as long as the guy they want looking is considered hot) I think what you say holds true for some women but
many insecure men mostly. I would never make my woman pay the price of (any kind of) abuse just because men found her attractive. -this makes no sense.

However, if a woman isn't happy with her man -this is a different story and a simple conversation should solve this issue.
Honestly bro, how many women do you see out there with:

-fake hair extensions
-fake nails
-push up bras
-butt enhancers....
-too much make-up around the eyes...I mean could this be false advertising?