Devastated.

[misombra]

http://www.myspace.com/video/vid/6790732
__________________________________________

[HeartIsAching]

What the **** was with her inviting me out to her friends? And acting like she was having a great time? What the **** is that? Did I fail without realizing and her friends told her to ditch me?

Man... I'm really sorry to hear that.

And yeah, that's a strong possibility.

[MerryH]

Damn. I read the thread title and then saw who it was posted by and knew right away what happened. Sorry, GW. That really sucks.

It's easy to look back and sort of be like, "wtf, what a bitch, how could she" type stuff, but after a short while, it's really unproductive. Just forget about her entirely. When you look back on this in the future, just remember the fun butterflies-in-the-stomach parts.

I like you. You seem like a pretty awesome dude. You'll be fine.

[Gratedwasabi]

Damn. I read the thread title and then saw who it was posted by and knew right away what happened. Sorry, GW. That really sucks.

It's easy to look back and sort of be like, "wtf, what a bitch, how could she" type stuff, but after a short while, it's really unproductive. Just forget about her entirely. When you look back on this in the future, just remember the fun butterflies-in-the-stomach parts.

I like you. You seem like a pretty awesome dude. You'll be fine.

I mean, yeah, I've done this to women so it's not like I can judge. I know she was trying to be nice and fair about it, it just really sucks. She had a lot of qualities I have a really hard time finding and I thought we got along great, although the lack of intimacy was becoming a problem. I need to work on how to be more myself around people before intimacy. I feel much more comfortable about myself AFTER I sleep with a woman then before.

****. **** **** ****. I hate putting effort and money and time into something and getting nothing. I don't even know why she dumped me, so it doesn't really help me grow. I thought we got along great and I was being respectful of her. Sigh..

[MerryH]

I don't even know why she dumped me, so it doesn't really help me grow.

Eh. It's not really her responsibility to help you grow, or whatever. That all has to come from you. Form your own conclusions as to why it maybe didn't work.

There's good reason not to give someone a brutally honest explanation as to why it's not working. It's more than just not hurting feelings. If you give reasons, there's a good possibility that the injured party will start with "B-b-b-but I can CHANGE that!! P-p-p-p-pleaaase give me another chance!" Not that you would be that pathetic, but it's better for her to just avoid that sort of meltdown, especially when it was such a casual thing to begin with.

I hate putting effort and money and time into something and getting nothing.

Unproductive! That's just more negative thinking, and kind of unfair. Dating isn't bartering. You didn't get screwed over. It's not like an eBay purchase gone wrong.

But, you're allowed to be angry and fester about inconsequential shit like this since it just happened today. But tomorrow, or the next day, you'll be better.

Many internet hugs to you.

[atodd]

I'm really sorry. Like others have said, you seem like a great guy. You really helped me in my thread.

[Gratedwasabi]

Unproductive! That's just more negative thinking, and kind of unfair. Dating isn't bartering. You didn't get screwed over. It's not like an eBay purchase gone wrong. .

I didn't mean it as "oh, ****, I spent money on this chick and I didn't even get laid." Although it kinda sounded like that.

It's my own fault. I'm not in a position to be spending money and I spent a lot on her, which wasn't really to impress or anything but just because I wanted to be able to do the things I wanted to be able to do (ie.. cook her a nice meal with flowers and such, etc.)

Thanks for all the support. I wish people in real life thought as highly as some of you seem to. My internet persona is far more loved.

[MerryH]

I want to bang your internet persona.

[blent]

I didn't mean it as "oh, ****, I spent money on this chick and I didn't even get laid." Although it kinda sounded like that.

It's my own fault. I'm not in a position to be spending money and I spent a lot on her, which wasn't really to impress or anything but just because I wanted to be able to do the things I wanted to be able to do (ie.. cook her a nice meal with flowers and such, etc.)

Thanks for all the support. I wish people in real life thought as highly as some of you seem to. My internet persona is far more loved.

If that's the case then maybe you should spend less time on this website and do something about your "persona" that matters. I remember a thread you made where you were asking what women thought about your appearance. That's a pretty huge indicator that there may be some self esteem issues going on with you. Granted I don't know you so I can't make any claims with certainty, however I will say with honesty that your posts usually tend to seem a little overpowering. You do seem like a cool guy to chill with, but you also sound like a virgin.

[Gratedwasabi]

If that's the case then maybe you should spend less time on this website and do something about your "persona" that matters. I remember a thread you made where you were asking what women thought about your appearance. That's a pretty huge indicator that there may be some self esteem issues going on with you. Granted I don't know you so I can't make any claims with certainty, however I will say with honesty that your posts usually tend to seem a little overpowering. You do seem like a cool guy to chill with, but you also sound like a virgin.

LOL. I made that post because I was curious. My self esteem isn't amazing, but it's fine. It never hurts to get some input on what you could do differently clothing/hair/shaving/etc wise. And I assure you, I have no problems getting laid; I have severe problems getting a relationship to work, though, it seems.

I spend maybe 30 minutes spread out over my day on this website. And my posts are meant to be overpowering, it replaces the sarcasm I have in real life.

[vashti]

Did I miss your picture? Dammit.

Oh well, I prefer experience to virginity anyway. haha

[Lovable]

Sorry to hear about this news GW. That was a bit harsh & childlike on HER part to text you the "kiss off".

Why can't people do things face to face anymore??

I say chalk it up to another experience. You didn't waste 2 months...you had good times with her, right? If you did then it wasn't wasted.

It's her loss...

[cancankant]

You have every right to be a little ticked, but look at it this way --- you went out 5 times. Just be glad you didn't get the "I'm not getting a connection" talk a year, 2 years, 3 years down the road.

I think that there may very well be something else other than "no connection". It could be school or another guy or some other thing, but truth is, you'll never know.

I feel head over heels over a few guys in my day and was dumped by a couple and it totally sucks, so I know how you feel. One of these guys even had gone as far as really romancing me and then dropped me like a stone. I never did really find out WHY he did this, but in reality, it doesn't really matter.

On the flip side, I have dated guys where there just wasn't a real attraction after a while or where I met someone else and got sidetracked. I'm sure I broke a few hearts or pissed a few guys off like that. Sometimes you are initially attracted to someone, which may or may not be about "looks", and once you get to know them better, you realize there's no future for you two.

You just have to move on and find someone different to date. If she didn't give you a fair shake, it's her loss. There are definitely people from my past that I should have given a chance, but didn't, and it is something I regret.

[RockNRoll]

You really sound like a cool guy and by you comments/advises on the forum I think that you know a lot on dating/relationship and I assume you're good at it. I'd be looking for your advice if I had any problem or question on that.

I expected her to move closer to you after I read about that night out with friends. She is very confusing and hard to understand, don't blame yourself. It's hard to tell, why she "didn't feel".
Maybe something wasn't the way she'd prefer, could be her individual preference. It doesn't mean that you've done something wrong and need to work on it.

[Gratedwasabi]

You really sound like a cool guy and by you comments/advises on the forum I think that you know a lot on dating/relationship and I assume you're good at it. I'd be looking for your advice if I had any problem or question on that.

I expected her to move closer to you after I read about that night out with friends. She is very confusing and hard to understand, don't blame yourself. It's hard to tell, why she "didn't feel".
Maybe something wasn't the way she'd prefer, could be her individual preference. It doesn't mean that you've done something wrong and need to work on it.

I actually think I figured it out.

During the night out, at least 3 of her friends ask what I do. My response.. "I'm a Chef." Then they ask where, to which I tried to elegantly state my current state of unemployment. The only thing she divulged besides sorry in her text was "I wish you the best in life and with your job search."

...See what I'm getting at? I think her friends acted like "you're dating an unemployed guy?" and that's what happened. If so, ironic as I just (probably) got a high paying, 40 hour a week job that I should be starting next week.

You know, I can't play like something wasn't a bit missing. I thought it was just her reservedness that was making the rare "intimate" moments, ie just kissing in this case, kind of bleh. Maybe it was just the two of us. Either way, it's a shame because we really were compatible in terms of personality, careers, likes. I guess there's a reason that it's not as easy as just lining up those three things, though.

I think what I've learned from this is **** the games and holding back on who I am to try and serve other people. I'm a very nice and polite person and I need to work on balancing that with being overly so. I think I worried too much about trying to figure out what SHE wanted me to do and should have just done what I felt was a good idea and then moved back if she disagreed. Still, it's so.. bizarre.. She came over to my apartment after to PICK UP A POTTED ORCHID I had bought her and she took it home. Why, on EARTH, would she do that if she was teetering on an edge? Something happened between A and E. Maybe it was her friends. Maybe it was another guy (although I doubt this just because I know what her schedule was and if she WAS fitting in another guy, I was getting first priority and more time.) Maybe she decided I was distracting her from school and didn't want to leave the door open. I guess it doesn't matter at this point. Just bummed.