Devastated.

[Gratedwasabi]

The girl I'm dating and thought things were going well with.

Just texted me.

"Hey Jeffrey, I'm sorry to say this but I don't there's enough of a connection between us to continue. I thought you should know when I did."

To say I'm devastated right now would be an understatement. I'm in a really, really bad place right now.

[xxazurexx]

Sorry to hear that

I guess that now you have the answer as to the tame kissing sessions and what not.

Her loss.

[Gratedwasabi]

Sorry to hear that

I guess that now you have the answer as to the tame kissing sessions and what not.

Her loss.

What the **** was with her inviting me out to her friends? And acting like she was having a great time? What the **** is that? Did I fail without realizing and her friends told her to ditch me?

[vertical_sky]

Did I fail without realizing and her friends told her to ditch me?

She might have been trying to see if you and her friends would get along, or if she'd feel more of a connection to you in the company of her friends (especially as you report they were flirting with you.)

But really, who knows? My best guess is she's just really focused on school and not even a marble Adonis could kindle a "connection" at this moment. Do NOT take it personally, it sounds like she wasn't being honest with herself about her wants and needs, not that there was anything you did wrong.

[xxazurexx]

I dunno hon. I just don't understand women who will act like everythings fine and give off an impression it's going places, then to turn around and in the next breath, say she aint feeling a connection - I just cannot figure this behaviour at all.

All I can think of is this. Sometimes, people who may be half hearted or not sure, rather than rule you out and immediately, they will stick around for a while and to see if their feelings might grow/a connection develops. And if it these things don't happen, they call it a day.

I think we've all been in this situation at one time or another.

[girl68]

Sorry man, that licks nasty balls.

Though I will admit I did the same thing (not sure if he liked me as much as you liked your gal BUT...) my story was met bob and jim at the same time... got drunk ended up hooking up with bob and we started our booty call, dating, flirting, seeing eachother- whatever you want to call it thing for a few weeks. I was also befriending Jim. I started to like Jim quite a bit more... eventually I decided I liked Jim enough to say peace out to Bob. I did this via text in much the same way your gal did. Have no clue how he felt about that but whatever. I had to let him go, I knew he wasn't the one I wanted to continue seeing, and wanted also to tell him ASAP.

I guess that doesn't help with you pain but yeah... sorry man. Head up time heals all pain

[Gratedwasabi]

Sorry man, that licks nasty balls.

Though I will admit I did the same thing (not sure if he liked me as much as you liked your gal BUT...) my story was met bob and jim at the same time... got drunk ended up hooking up with bob and we started our booty call, dating, flirting, seeing eachother- whatever you want to call it thing for a few weeks. I was also befriending Jim. I started to like Jim quite a bit more... eventually I decided I liked Jim enough to say peace out to Bob. I did this via text in much the same way your gal did. Have no clue how he felt about that but whatever. I had to let him go, I knew he wasn't the one I wanted to continue seeing, and wanted also to tell him ASAP.

I guess that doesn't help with you pain but yeah... sorry man. Head up time heals all pain

I guess it's possible there was another guy somewhere in there. I find it strange that she'd invite me out with her roommates and closest friends in that case, though, unless they were being used as the final judge for her picking.

I wish she'd give me a non-generic response. I'd rather hear she didn't find me attractive or I bored the shit out of her then "I don't feel a connection."

Honestly. She kept putting me in "we have this amount of time to do this" dates and didn't experience a deep enough connection. Shocking.

**** **** ****.

[girl68]

But isn't it easier to cop out using the generic responses? I know SOME would say I don't find you physically attractive enough but really, I would never have the balls to say that. SOOOO much easier to say "it's not you- it's me" type responses.

LOL, I'm so no help. Have a stiff drink.

[Gratedwasabi]

But isn't it easier to cop out using the generic responses? I know SOME would say I don't find you physically attractive enough but really, I would never have the balls to say that. SOOOO much easier to say "it's not you- it's me" type responses.

LOL, I'm so no help. Have a stiff drink.

I just don't get it. I don't get women. It makes no sense. She either enjoyed spending time with me or she's a fantastic actress that likes wasting her time. And the only reason we weren't more intimate is because she would always put the stops to it. Maybe she really just didn't find me attractive and was trying to work around it? Then her friends agreed I'm not attractive? LOL. That's a nice thought. And she didn't even want to or pretend to want to remain friends. Just "**** off."

[hello1]

Oh I am sorry. I really did think she was a wait for long time to have sex with a guy type of girl but she just didn't find you attractive enough to want sleep with you. Other fish in the sea

[girl68]

Well I enjoyed my time with BOB, I just didn't enjoy it *enough* to make me want more. You have absolutlely no solid ground to believe it was becasue you weren't attractive. There are plently more reasons she didn't get down with you than she didn't find you attractive. But if that is the avenue you must use to wrap you head around this one, I guess that's the best one to use.

It could simply be she liked you, but it wasn't enough to persue you any more. Don't worry there are plenty of nice young ladies around for ya.

[Petit Papillon]

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXT

You should thank her actually. Would you prefer to be with her in a relationship for few years and find out then? That could happen if she wouldn't be confident enough to tell you so early that it's not going to work out . Such people are priceless and shouldn't be called heartbreakers ,cause actually she saved your heart from some really big aches There will be next one, don't worry

[xxazurexx]

I just don't get it. I don't get women. It makes no sense. She either enjoyed spending time with me or she's a fantastic actress that likes wasting her time. And the only reason we weren't more intimate is because she would always put the stops to it. Maybe she really just didn't find me attractive and was trying to work around it? Then her friends agreed I'm not attractive? LOL. That's a nice thought. And she didn't even want to or pretend to want to remain friends. Just "**** off."

Nothing to do with looks I don't think. If she didn't find you attractive, why the heck date you to start with?

Do women normally date men they don't find attractive? Because I don't.

[Gratedwasabi]

Nothing to do with looks I don't think. If she didn't find you attractive, why the heck date you to start with?

Do women normally date men they don't find attractive? Because I don't.

I dunno. She never complimented my looks and personality wise we matched quite well. It's all quite confusing.

[Take2]

Women don't say the real reasons they don't want to date guys because it just seems cruel without purpose. I mean, my reasons may sound petty or just plain mean, they may hurt even worse than the nondescript pretend reason we make up. It really is intended as a kindness. I mean, I have decided not to continue dating a guy because he was kind of a loser with no purpose in life. Another was whiny and clingy. One was dumb as a rock. There is no nice way to be honest, there. Nor would there be if there's some other guy we just like more.

Because another possibility is that she was dating someone casually who wasn't ready to be exclusive and he decided that was what he wanted after all and she would rather pursue that further-along relationship than what she had with you. That might also explain the lack of sex. I personally won't have sex unless I can date someone exclusively. She might find you hotter than the other guy, even, but just be more invested in him because she met him a month earlier and has a longer history with him. Or just knows she would always wonder if she didn't pursue it.