Need advice, dont know what to do

[jony1977]

Hi,
i'm going to tell a little about me so you can get the context of my situation.
I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 6 years (1 year I was out of the country but we keep on dating). We also lived 1 year together but because of our jobs,we are living in different cities since last year.
I asked for a transfer and I will move to her city next month.
The problem is that I met someone (cindy) like 3 months ago, everything started very innocent, we started chatting, until one day that I invited her to have some dinner at my house, and she say yes. Nothing happen that day but we both realized that there was something more. She also had a boyfriend at that time, two dates later we slept together. One month later, i tried to leave my girlfriend, not because i was in love with this new girl but because i knew there was something wrong with my relationship. The split was not pretty, my girlfriend start telling me how I ruined her life, and also threaten me to kill herself, the bottom line, 2 days after I was again with her (I never tell her about Cindy). Cindy, left her boyfriend (not because of me).
I live this double life and I feel miserable about it, but I cant leave Cindy, we talk all the time (sms, messenger, over the phone).
Now I feel I am in a lose-lose situation, If I move with my girlfriend I lose Cindy for sure, but if I stay i don't know what could happen with Cindy (she says that maybe she wants to give her ex a new chance).
I also feel that I owe my girlfriend a chance to be happy or at least a chance to realize that we don't belong together since she has been with me through thick and thin.

Any advice would be great,

Jony

[Cinnabella]

You are a Jerk, pack up and get out of her life for her good!

[sweetkissesforu]

Let your gf go she needs some one who is loyal

[Meskazc]

This is a bad situation indeed.

First of all, you have cheated on your girlfriend. UNLESS you tell her you are going to have this nagging guilt for a very long time..if not for your entire relationship. You could keep it a secret too, because you would be doing her a favor by not telling her. If you tell her, she is going to be absolutely heart broken, and if you can promise to yourself and to her (silently of course) that you would never do it again then don't tell her and don't ever do it again. That is only if you absolutely cannot live without her (I've been there.)

Now, it's clear that there is something wrong with your current relationship with your girlfriend. You should address this with her. Dont worry about her claiming that she will commit suicide, she is just using that to keep you (which is a terrible terrible thing to do..she seems really unstable). It seems that by cheating, you only affirmed your beliefs that your girlfriend is not worth your time, nor is she the one for you so why bother staying with her?

You shouldn't feel bad about Cindy, you do not have any obligations to her. Although you slept with her, she is not your "girlfriend" so don't worry too much about her. If she's contemplating being with her ex, then that means that she obviously doesn't like you enough..so why bother with her? She's basically telling you that you'll never be as good as her ex. Do you really want to be with that?

Ideally, I'd say that you should drop Cindy and try to work things out with your girlfriend. By work things out, I mean express your true feelings for her, MAYBE tell her you cheated, and take it from there. She seems like she would hang on to you even though you cheated. So if you must, be with her to fill the time, and build the courage to leave her. I'd say neither girls are good enough for you.

[Stina83]

I agree with above posts. Cheating is absolutely unacceptable! At least have the courtesy to break up with your gf, BEFORE you cheat!

[BeneathTheSun]

I agree with the previous posts, and for the "suicide threat" you got. this is not valid. People who warn you about it never go through with it.