Are you guys able to just be friends with a girl?

[Sammy01]

So, are you? My (female) friends and I have totally opposite views about this, and I want to win this discussion They believe it's impossible, cause you (guys) always want more from the opposite sex. I disagree, since I pretty much only hang out with guys. Only because I just don't get along with other women and they feel the same way about me. The constant nagging, gossip just isn't my thing. I do have a couple of female friends, but at work I avoid female co-workers like a plague. They seem to be bothered by the fact that I goof around with the guys, and are convinced that it's impossible to just like a guy. So, guys, I'm right aren't I?

[VincenzoG91]

If one person is gay or the woman is ugly, a friendship might work, if they have any common interests. Guy friendships tend to be activity-oriented, like, we're hunting, we're working on a car, we're shooting hoops, we're playing a console game. If the friendship involves an excessive amount of just sitting around and talking, a guy's going to get bored.

[Sammy01]

Nope, none of them is gay and I'm not ugly. And yes we do a lot of sitting around and talking. Okay it's not about serious stuff like curing world hunger. It's just goofing around. We made a sport out of it how we can top the other. Like a friend of mine, two days ago he went on and on about how he hated it when people treat him like a sexobject. So, I told him he should feel flattered cause his ass made a great screensaver. Not that it's all about sex/sexobjects, it's just fun. Nothing more. Or we'll just mail for like an hour if we're bored. So, that's harmless as well. Most men just have a better sence of humour. I can appreciate that. They can appreciate that I can top their comments.

[SelflessnHumble]

So, are you? My (female) friends and I have totally opposite views about this, and I want to win this discussion They believe it's impossible, cause you (guys) always want more from the opposite sex. I disagree, since I pretty much only hang out with guys. Only because I just don't get along with other women and they feel the same way about me. The constant nagging, gossip just isn't my thing. I do have a couple of female friends, but at work I avoid female co-workers like a plague. They seem to be bothered by the fact that I goof around with the guys, and are convinced that it's impossible to just like a guy. So, guys, I'm right aren't I?

While winning an argument sounds kinda petty: I'm sorry to say that you're mostly wrong! To break this down for you you need to consider what a person looks like on the outside doesn't always dictate how they are on the inside. Basing your observation on a person's character is how to properly address this question not via a stereotype...
(and their character is directly based on their environment and learned behavior based on experiences)

(1) In your case you are actually able to have a guy as a friend (whether or not he is "hot") and have a platonic friendship. (Very Rare)

-Many girls I grew up with began feeling that they were able to bond better with men than with their same sex...and for good reason.
-To give you insight on this directly: I've had sex with every single one of my girl / friends. -Each one. How?
-We started as friends. Once a woman is compelled to see how a man can change their common misconceptions and see how good someone can be: they want in.
-Intuitively I picked up on their side stepping flirting, or the avoidance of eye contact, the signs are obvious. When a guy is extraordinary she will want him.

(2) Women who've been burned before, never learned social cues and due to their own insecurities feel a women joking with another guy is "slutty behavior."

(3) A person's perspective is based on their own empirical experiences which yields intuition. This is why I can't say yes or no conclusively.

A good woman knows how to control their emotions but even a good woman (through friendship) lay the foundation for something more based on selfish needs.
(should she choose to act on taking the next step) A bad woman keeps men around her as a mental security blanket which could stem from abandonment issues (usually due to the absence of a father figure)
or other underlying issues not known.

[shadowMike4d4]

I sort of agree with Selflessnhumble, BUT...I disagree to another extent. I have female friends I'm not attracted to and female friends I am. Of course being PHYSICALLY attracted is one thing, having a drawing chemistry is another. Girl can be a supermodel if that chemistry isn't there as well as the personality compatibility then yeah, not going to work.


Its possible, but not always the case. I mean are you the type of girl your friends would find attractive physically? And don't give YOUR opinion on your looks, give the guys...girls always say they look "okay" or 'not that good' when I ask...I don't know if you're one of those girl's but then even if you were you might deny it while proving it by insisting you don't look that good.

but bottom line, its possible but improbable. So you're right. =)

[smackie9]

Guys think with their penises most of the time, they are like hunters, always on the look out for sex. I know those male co-workers have used you as the main player in their masturbation theater....it's a given. Most guys don't like wasting their time unless there is some hope for getting sex or like to be visually stimulated by you nice rack. The ones that stick around for a long time are wimp asses that are too afriad to ask a girl out. They cling to the idea that the girl will eventually like them as more than a freind, so your female friends are pretty much right.

[eonbar]

well. true friendship? huhmmm a difficult one.

i have a load of girl friends and a load of guy friends. i'd say im above average attractiveness, and some of my girl mates are definitely hotties, so based on looks alone chances are there are some physical attractions from both end. NOW although these are my girl friends i've slept with a few of them, and made out with all the single ones. :| sooooo, we are still friends, but there has been that whole 'more than friends' thing which ha been and gone.

maybe its that factor alone which means that we can be friends? i think its how you react with people after its happened. theres still a couple i try and get with when im really ****ed and we always just laugh it off the next day about my constant rejection from them. hahahaha

[smackie9]

If you look there's a common thread that keeps coming up repeatedly "I fell for my best friend, what do I do?" or "We hung out for month and get along great. I told her I wanted to be more than friends and I got rejected....boohoo why?" or "I get mixed signals from my friend that's a girl. Does she want me?"...not.

I see the same shit about this over and over.

[Sammy01]

Okay well I'm one of the girls who thinks she's pretty average actually. I know I'm not ugly and need to cover my head or something. Both men and women say I'm goodlooking (not to be a snob, it's what you asked and what people told me), but I think I'm just normal. It's not that I don't get attention. I've mentioned before that I'm pretty blind when it comes to picking up signals. But these are all guys that are attached. Not that this explains anything, but it is possible to just have fun without wanting to get a girl into bed if there's already one laying in it.

[Sammy01]

If you look there's a common thread that keeps coming up repeatedly "I fell for my best friend, what do I do?" or "We hung out for month and get along great. I told her I wanted to be more than friends and I got rejected....boohoo why?" or "I get mixed signals from my friend that's a girl. Does she want me?"...not.

I see the same shit about this over and over.

But I am not falling for any of them. AND I've known them for way over a month. I just want to be proven right that men and women CAN be friends without wanting/expecting any sexual activities.

[Sammy01]

Guys think with their penises most of the time, they are like hunters, always on the look out for sex. I know those male co-workers have used you as the main player in their masturbation theater....it's a given. Most guys don't like wasting their time unless there is some hope for getting sex or like to be visually stimulated by you nice rack. The ones that stick around for a long time are wimp asses that are too afriad to ask a girl out. They cling to the idea that the girl will eventually like them as more than a freind, so your female friends are pretty much right.

Haha funny you said that. I actually got a postard a while ago which was almost identical to your first and second line. And yes that was a co-worker. Creepy dude, def not one of my friends and no chance in hell I'd help him with it

[Gratedwasabi]

Yes. But it's rare.

My best friend is a woman. She's attractive. We joke, talk about whatever, but don't flirt or anything like that. 100% just friends.

That, however, IS rare. It's very, VERY common for guys to want to date their female "friends" and/or sleep with them.

[the_robot]

Yes we can, at least I can.

[Sammy01]

Yes. But it's rare.

My best friend is a woman. She's attractive. We joke, talk about whatever, but don't flirt or anything like that. 100% just friends.

That, however, IS rare. It's very, VERY common for guys to want to date their female "friends" and/or sleep with them.

Okay but these are guys that all have gf's. So why would they bother? Two of them are even married. Okay they can tease, but that's it.

[VincenzoG91]

Okay but these are guys that all have gf's. So why would they bother? Two of them are even married. Okay they can tease, but that's it.

Good point. No man has ever cheated on his wife or girlfriend. I guess you win the bet.