Surviving accidental bumping into your X

[TomerT]

Hi all,
About 3.5 months ago I was brutally dumped by my gf. In short - she went to vacation to her country as my gf (we were talking moving in together, kids, marriage, etc...) and after few weeks came back pregnant with/from her last bf. I didn't know anything about all this, I blindly trusted her. When I came to the airport to meet her, I couldn't even approach her...Since then we have never chance to properly talk, I had never had a chance to hear sincere apology, get some closure and her side of the story....She just disappeared from my life like I was complete piece of sh*t.....
Nevermind..., thanks to this forum, gradually I could come back to normal "me"...and even better "me" My life is full now, I date, have a new gf and in generally pretty over my cheating X...
But still, what bothers me, is the fact that I'm still thinking about her, almost every day...Not as obsessively as in the beginning...but still several times a day...BUT what really "scares" me (I would say even "freaks" me) is to accidentally bump into her...Although we live in a big city and chances for this are low...Still we live in nearby neighbourhoods, occasionally going to the same shopping centres, entertainments, parks, etc...I do my best to avoid any chance to encounter her but still, there is always a chance...
Frankly, it is not like I do not want to see her or to hear her, but I know that this encounter will be completely pile of bullsh*t...She will pretend how good she is doing...I will pretend how I am completely over her...I know that those are the "rules of the game" and practice them in my mind..but I afraid I will not be able to follow then if it will happen for real..
Any suggestions / tips - how to "survive" accidentally meeting your X...
There are also many different scenarios: she can be alone or (most likely) with her partner, I can be (most likely) alone or with my partner...
sometimes, I would like to make myself just not noticing her...But what if it will not work.. ? I do not want to look like demonstratively ignoring her and /or having some anger...In my perfect "scenario" I would like to leave her with an impression that she was unimportant episode in my life, I barely remember who she is... How do I get this effect ?

[doppelgaenger]

Just don't stop to chat with her. If she asks how things are going or whatever, just say "good" and keep walking. Then stroke your ego with thoughts that her bf is kissing a mouth that once sucked on your dick.

[Raze]

Just don't stop to chat with her. If she asks how things are going or whatever, just say "good" and keep walking. Then stroke your ego with thoughts that her bf is kissing a mouth that once sucked on your dick.

He doesn't have to say anything. I won't even make eye contact with an ex. Exes have eye cooties.

[CJR]

So, you want to make her feel like how she makes you feel... The worst part is that when she does it, it looks unintentional, but feels harsh and terrible. It's like seeing you're ex's relationship status of facebook change to "in-relationship". Though, they did nothing to put you out on the spot, or call you up and say,"**** you!"... You still most likely feel like shit. Which makes you want to commit suicide it's so frustrating. Though, look how much she's getting, by not doing anything... But, this is created all inside your head. This idea of her trying to rub it in, isn't it. I'm sorry man, but it seems this is just an act of you feelin' sorry for yourself.
Now stop being a guy you wouldn't even be friends with, and be the guy that you really are. 'Cause I bet you're pretty cool, go back to your house, load in blackops, and order pizza with your friends, take a break from the thinkin'.
In reality, you should sort of be glad that something so happy, could make you feel that sad...
Anyways, this wasn't really much advice, rather than an observation and... Yeah, anyways, I'm really tired, I hope you were able to read this the way I intended.

[MerryH]

Smirk, nod your head at her, say "hey" or something equally uninterested and continue on your way. Don't converse with her. If this had ended differently, then maybe you could exchange pleasantries, but she screwed you over in pretty much the worst possible way so to hell with her. She barely deserves acknowledgment. Plus, it will probably chap her ass if you don't look happy to see her.

[TomerT]

I thought if I will look "happy to see her", but in "a hurry" - it will show her that I am completely over her and she even not worth my time to chat with...
I even thought to say something like: "Sorry, I need to run now, but feel free to call some other time"....
Needless to say - I will never answer her call. Her number is blocked !

[MerryH]

Telling her to call you sometime implies that you actually want her in your life. Don't even give her that tiny sliver of satisfaction, even though you don't mean it. Just be cold. Not a jerk, just cold.

Also, stop thinking about things that probably won't even happen. You're still thinking about her, and that's not good. Occupy yourself with something else.

[Boisdevie]

Ignore her completely - no eye contact, no chat, NOTHING. She deserves to be ignored.

[Lipp]

Ignore her completely - no eye contact, no chat, NOTHING. She deserves to be ignored.

I second this one.

[reeba]

"Since then we have never chance to properly talk, I had never had a chance to hear sincere apology, get some closure and her side of the story....She just disappeared from my life like I was complete piece of sh*t....."

Why do you keep 'dreaming' of this chance encounter? I wouldn't say you are living in dread of it. I think you are dreaming of it. So how does this dream go? She says she made a mistake and wants you back? Are you hoping that she will drop her panties for you now you are the ex, just like she did with her former ex?

It ain't going to happen dude. Find another day dream to obsess about. And chances are you aren't too much into your current girlfriend if you are still obsessing about your ex like this.

[Raze]

OP, you're not ready for a relationship if you keep obsessing over your ex like this. You haven't given yourself enough time to heal.

[Frankston]

I bumped into my ex last week in a bar here in Bangkok. She was with a load of mates. I had just walked in when two random girls asked if I wanted to help them out with their beer tower (do u get them back in the West??) I said thanks very much, took a sip, looked around....and she was right behind me, with a group of friends, with her back to me. I tried to say hi, and she slowly turned, looked at me with this awful, lifeless expression and said, 'Why don't you get back to your girls?'

It was ****ing horrible. I still have a lot of feelings for her, and it ended messily due to the fact that she's, well, to quote one poster, a 'crazy bitch.'

I put my beer down and left immediately, distraught at how shit things had become. I left my poor mate in there, but we're tight, and he understands. He told me he glared at her, shook his head and moved on to another bar.

Oh, the ****ing drama of it all.

[Raze]

^^ Don't be too upset. She probably has STDs at this point. You don't want an STD now, do you?