How to ask this girl out?

[andyD8462]

Hi, I'm a 17 year old guy and this may sound a bit pathetic but I've never actually had a girlfriend. There is this girl who I really like, more than I've ever liked a girl before.

She was originally a friend of one of my best friends, and I went on holiday (vacation) with my friend, his parents, and this girl. I had met this girl a couple of times before and we had got on well, but during the week long holiday we got on really really well. I know from what shes said to me, and to my friend, that she likes me, but I think she might just like me as a friend, where as I REALLY like her and want to go out with her.

Since the holiday, which we got back from just over a week ago, I have spoken to her on facebook several times, for long periods of time and we have continued to get on very well. Tomorrow I am going out bowling with her and the friend who went on holiday plus another friend, but after that I'm not sure if I'll get the opportunity to see her much as we go to different schools and she doesn't live very close (like a 30minute drive away).

I act confident around her, and around my friends but deep down I am not a very self-confident person. I want her to be my girlfriend, but due to my lack of experience and lack of self-confidence, I don't really know the best way to ask her to go out with me. How should I do it? Face to face? On the phone? On facebook? What should I say to her?

This may all sound a bit silly and pathetic, but I am afraid that I will mess up and the opportunity to be with this girl who I like so much will pass me by.

[Boisdevie]

Face to face. Just go for it - she might be waiting for you to ask her - you never just know. But what if you never ask her? YOu will never ever know and you could miss a fantastic opportunity.

[smackie9]

You will mess things up if you express your feelings for her....that will make her run away. Just ask her out. If she says no, it doesn't mean you messed up, it just means she's not interested. Next time ask when you are attracted to a girl ask them out. Working your way slowly, by chatting and stuff is fu cikn weak way to get girls. You kill any chance of getting a GF by being friends with them. Yes you have no choice but to grow some and just ask them out.

[janelle123]

I would just send her a message on facebook like, wanna catch a movie?
That way you give her the space to react whenever she wants.
If she annswers, okay but just as friends, you know what's up and it won't be
Acword. If she just answers yes, i guess you got yourself a date!

[Raze]

I would just send her a message on facebook like, wanna catch a movie?

Don't do that because it's creepy and signifies that you have no balls to ask her face-to-face. Don't be a pussy.

That way you give her the space to react whenever she wants.

Ummm... I wouldn't wait around for someone to give me an answer. I like instant feedback thank you very much.

If she annswers, okay but just as friends, you know what's up and it won't be
Acword.

Yes, it will be awkward because you're asking someone out on Facebook. On Facebook, there are certain details that are left up such as body language. I guarantee if you ask her out on Facebook, she will either stand you up or cancel the day of the date.

[Raze]

Just grab her tits.
IF she liked it BAM!
You know she is the one for you.

It's hard to tell if you're being serious or sarcastic. Judging from your other posts, I'd say that it's the latter.

And don't take that seriously OP. If you touch her breasts and she doesn't like it, you could have a sexual harassment lawsuit up your ass.

[SelflessnHumble]

O.k that was an inside joke and I was just kidding!

Considering how you feel there are ways to know how she feels in return.
Do you guys hug? Does she pat you on the back or "hover" her hand (keeping distance?)
Does she give you eye contact? OR does she shy away when you look at her?

These are some ways to know if she does want something more but not conclusive.

The best way to know for sure is to turn up the heat.
Start getting closer to her when you talk. Initiate going out with just you two (not a date)
but make it sound exciting because in a way you're selling yourself and what you to offer.
If she doesn't know about your hidden talents /abilities how is she to see the real you?

If she is truly a good friend she will not embarrass you/your feelings if she happens to not feel the same.
You have to go into the situation with confidence. Be assertive, not docile. Don't be afraid to disagree with her.
This makes for come great conversation because with one form of dialog she will reveal more of herself: and you can
use this opportunity to either tell her you have it in common OR tell her you don't like it and be open and inviting.

There is no other way other than to dive in head first: start your experiences now. Don't wait.
She may be the first girl that you like but she won't be the last one either! Take the leap!

[SelflessnHumble]

It's hard to tell if you're being serious or sarcastic. Judging from your other posts, I'd say that it's the latter.

And don't take that seriously OP. If you touch her breasts and she doesn't like it, you could have a sexual harassment lawsuit up your ass.

lol, I'm sorry Raze. It was in the moment and I thought of Batman!

[DavidDeAnge]

andi

To chat and have fun on fb is a thing but when the real questions show up you should do it face to face remember to be confident in what you say. Dont start with other BS just plain and simple ask her when she seems to be in a good mood and be simple and see what feedback you get so the next time will be better.

Sorry quote was ment for andi

[Raze]

lol, I'm sorry Raze. It was in the moment and I thought of Batman!

It's okay, dude. It's just not something I expected you to say after reading the flame war posts between you and Doppel.

[SelflessnHumble]

You know what Raze...absolutely.
I shouldn't have said it and it was completely childish no excuses.

[doppelgaenger]

Hi, I'm a 17 year old guy and this may sound a bit pathetic but I've never actually had a girlfriend. There is this girl who I really like, more than I've ever liked a girl before.

You're not alone. There are a lot of male posters here who are even 22 or 23 who have never had a girlfriend.

She was originally a friend of one of my best friends, and I went on holiday (vacation) with my friend, his parents, and this girl. I had met this girl a couple of times before and we had got on well, but during the week long holiday we got on really really well. I know from what shes said to me, and to my friend, that she likes me, but I think she might just like me as a friend, where as I REALLY like her and want to go out with her.

Unfortunately, you have to understand the possibility that this girl may not even give you a chance to be with her. But don't worry, because you're young and the sea is full of fish.

Since the holiday, which we got back from just over a week ago, I have spoken to her on facebook several times, for long periods of time and we have continued to get on very well. Tomorrow I am going out bowling with her and the friend who went on holiday plus another friend, but after that I'm not sure if I'll get the opportunity to see her much as we go to different schools and she doesn't live very close (like a 30minute drive away).

On the contrary, I'm betting she'll give you a chance if you're spending a lot of time chatting together. Don't worry about the 30 minute drive if you really like her.

I act confident around her, and around my friends but deep down I am not a very self-confident person. I want her to be my girlfriend, but due to my lack of experience and lack of self-confidence, I don't really know the best way to ask her to go out with me. How should I do it? Face to face? On the phone? On facebook? What should I say to her?

We all start somewhere. Building confidence takes time and effort, like working out. Take what confidence you have and work with it. Going after a girl you really like (as you are) is a really bold thing to do at your age. Just be willing to accept any response you might get and be prepared to deal with it. More directly: DO NOT ask the girl to "go out with you". Say that you want to spend some time with her - just you and her, and ask her if she wants to get a bite to eat or just hang out (or something else... whatever is in your budget) It really doesn't matter whether you ask her out on the phone or on Facebook at this day in age.... it's more about what you say and how you say it.

This may all sound a bit silly and pathetic, but I am afraid that I will mess up and the opportunity to be with this girl who I like so much will pass me by.

I'll close my reply by reassuring you: This isn't silly and pathetic. I'm older than you, and when I really like a girl, I sometimes have to build up some courage to go after her. It's a normal thing to fear rejection and to worry about all this. Just be willing to accept the endless possibilities, whatever they may be. Keep your head up if things don't go as you'd hope, and always remember to double bag your groceries when you go shopping.