How to deal with GF, immaturity.

[Loveisnoteasy]

I been with my gf for over 2 years, she has 3 children from her previous marriage and I can't stand it when she gets angry and makes mountains out of ant hills. Let me give you an example, I just arrived at a party at my friends house, and I get text that children's friends are coming over and that its giving her a headache. I reply. Then few minutes later she tells me that she was not prepared for he children's friends and she needed to get some food and cant leave the house because of the children, when was I driving up to her house. Her oldest is 15years old. I reply well order pizza pick it up or deliver have it delivered and I be heading up be about at her house around 6. She then replies to me that I don't care about her and I care about my friends more then he. She thens says you know I'm not feeling well and you still don't make a effort come up earlier. Now my reason for for not heading up earlier is first I have a package I am waiting for to arrive, driving from where I was would take me about 1+ during rush hour (would take me 30min max) and then I just got to my friends house for a party. So I leave after 1hr after I get to my friends house and trek it to my parents house to pickup the package. I took me 1.5 hrs to get to her house, when I get there she not there and I call her she does not answer and I call her daughter and she tells me they are dropping off her little sisters friend and heading to her grandmothers house to eat. I meet them there and guess what she never ordered any food whatsoever,(she had frozen pizza at home) and then they order pizza at her moms. She was pissed at me and I said are your really serious about being mad this? First you ask me to drive 1.5 hrs to help you get food? Its not an emergency if it was like hey my water heater broke and its pouring water or my kid fell and to take her to the hospital. She goes you don't care and don't ever ask me to do anything for you, and I said I don't ever ask anyone to do anything like that if I could do it myself then would to ask someone to drive 1+ in traffic to order food for me. The next day her children's aunt came over to take them out to eat, she did not speak a word to me she just left the house. I have not talked to her since. I lover her but, to me that is so immature. If she thinks I should apologize for anything she got another thing coming, I am always the one apologizing even when she wrong. Why because she said majority of the time I'm not wrong.

[smackie9]

Wow come on dude. Why are you even with her? This is not the right situation for you.....just walk away, because none of this will ever change.

[Junket]

Tell her she has the emotional maturity of a 14 year old and there are much better, much more mature women you'd spend your time and money on.

[Loveisnoteasy]

We all know a large percentage of women out there never admit they are wrong. Most of the time I'm ok with it it's just sometimes they need to learn to accept they wrong and apologize. I tell her she is very immature when she mad, told her she acts younger then her daughter. I never tell her whats bothering me for the reason I know somewhere down the line she would use it against me. The last time I told her something and she used it in argument, I said that is the main reason why I never tell you anything that bothers me, you don't know your boundaries.
Her immaturity really hurts the relationship, don't get me wrong I get my moments, but I never yell to start a disagreement or act unreasonable.

[SelflessnHumble]

I been with my gf for over 2 years, she has 3 children from her previous marriage and I can't stand it when she gets angry and makes mountains out of ant hills.

I hate to break it to you but she has a FAILED marriage under her belt with 3 children as collateral damage.
Unless the husband died prematurely then breaking the covenant that she made in God's house is a huge problem in itself.

I just arrived at a party at my friends house, and I get text that children's friends are coming over and that its giving her a headache. Then few minutes later she tells me that she was not prepared for he children's friends and she needed to get some food and cant leave the house because of the children, when I was driving up to her house. Her oldest is 15years old. I reply well order pizza, pick it up or have it delivered and I be heading up to her house around 6.

First of all you're a pretty lousy story teller and it is quite incoherent.
You had just arrived at your friend's party. (how far was it from her house?)
While you are there you get a text that she is also having a party for her children and her friends...
She doesn't plan this very well (and neither do you since you didn't know about it) and that there is no
food inside the house (frozen pizza isn't good for children) So, now..You;
(due to your poor time management skills and having a low regard for her and her children) decide not
to assist her by NOT helping her out in picking up the food...tell her to order Pizza? O.k.

She then replies to me that I don't care about her and I care about my friends more then he. She thens says you know I'm not feeling well and you still don't make a effort come up earlier.

Look, man. Both of you are to B-lame in this so you should take a good hard look in the mirror
and take responsibility for your failures. See, when you have 3 children meaning:
IF you take the woman you also accept her children as your own... When you have 3 children
and a woman at home: SHE and the children are your #1 priority, not some package at your parent's house
and not some party at your friend's house! -YOU are the one acting immature this time round.

However (based on your posts) SHE did not communicate to you about the get together with the children.
So telling you at the last minute isn't right at all -THIS is her "bad" right there no excuses.

Now my reason for for not heading up earlier is first I have a package I am waiting for to arrive, driving from where I was would take me about 1+ during rush hour (would take me 30min max) and then I just got to my friends house for a party. So I leave after 1hr after I get to my friends house and trek it to my parents house to pickup the package.

Either I misread what you wrote, or you're either lying OR don't know what you just wrote.
Did you do this to make your situation look better in your favor?

You say you are waiting for a package to arrive, then you say you have to pick it up at your parent's house?
This tells me that you did not have to pick it up on that day and since you did not write that it was
so pertinent that it must have been picked up that day when your parents were obviously going
to either have to sign for it OR have it drop shipped on your doorstep...you should have sacrificed for your "family."

THIS is what people do in families. They suck it up for the betterment of EVERYONE, not just for yourself.
In your case the good of the one was more important than the good of the 4 (plus the other children) -Pretty messed up-

It took me 1.5 hrs to get to her house, when I get there she not there and I call her she does not answer and I call her daughter and she tells me they are dropping off her little sisters friend and heading to her grandmothers house to eat. I meet them there and guess what she never ordered any food whatsoever,(she had frozen pizza at home) and then they order pizza at her moms. She was pissed at me and I said are your really serious about being mad this? First you ask me to drive 1.5 hrs to help you get food? Its not an emergency if it was like hey my water heater broke and its pouring water or my kid fell and to take her to the hospital. She goes you don't care and don't ever ask me to do anything for you, and I said I don't ever ask anyone to do anything like that if I could do it myself then would to ask someone to drive 1+ in traffic to order food for me. The next day her children's aunt came over to take them out to eat, she did not speak a word to me she just left the house. I have not talked to her since. I lover her but, to me that is so immature. If she thinks I should apologize for anything she got another thing coming, I am always the one apologizing even when she wrong. Why because she said majority of the time I'm not wrong.

Well based on your actions it would seem that you don't care, and that you have a LOT of pride
as well as self entitlement issues that need addressing. However consider the facts:

She doesn't accept you the way you are
She does not effectively communicate her intentions...waiting to the last minute expecting you to save the day...

You are dealing with a women who uses her emotions to hurt your relationship.
She is internalizing many things evident in her short temper with you and with your decisions that you make.
Communication on both sides is piss poor and needs to be improved on: Example:

(The day before the party) 24hrs notice:
Her: Hey honey...tomorrow afternoon the kids are inviting their friends over for a pizza party...I need
you here to help me with everything...I'd really appreciate it...
You: Oh, ok, well what time are you planning for the kids to come over and at about what time do you want
the food warm and ready to eat? The reason why I am asking is because I had previously ordered an important
package that will be arriving today at my parent's house and considering how far it is to drive I want to make sure
that I'm able to get it today...

Then you hash out the details: you as a family make compromises.
Your friend's party should be canceled OR you go there after the kid's party OR you budget your time
bringing the food and staying a bit, then going to the party-this way IF she does get mad at you then
you did your part and made time -even though you had prior engagements.

Even though they are not your blood children: they are your family and these ties are a higher priority
than your friends. It sounds like she has expectations of you that aren't being met, and this is an issue within
relationships. You need to sit her down and tell her how you feel, without being an ass, or disrespectful.

Perhaps you two aren't right for each other?

[Loveisnoteasy]

Look, man. Both of you are to B-lame in this so you should take a good hard look in the mirror
and take responsibility for your failures. See, when you have 3 children meaning:
IF you take the woman you also accept her children as your own... When you have 3 children
and a woman at home: SHE and the children are your #1 priority, not some package at your parent's house
and not some party at your friend's house! -YOU are the one acting immature this time round.

However (based on your posts) SHE did not communicate to you about the get together with the children.
So telling you at the last minute isn't right at all -THIS is her "bad" right there no excuses.

First, I love her children like there are mine. You are speculating what went on. Let me better explain to you. There was no party at her house her children's friends came over at the last minute. I was downtown, I did not know anything of friends coming over. The package was a Christmas gift for her daughter it was Christmas eve. My friend calls me to hey do you want to come over for a party (more of a get together) I said cool since I have to wait for the package. I usually head to her house around 6 after traffic has died down. When I get to the party she tells me that her children kids are coming over, and they are going to drive her nuts. I reply. Then minutes later she asks me when I'm heading up I because she can't leave the house with the all the kids there. Ok! The children range from 15 to 11. You can't tell me that she can't order pizza and pick it up it is literally 4 blocks from her house or have it delivered! I dont know many people who would drive 1.5 hrs in traffic to pick up a pizza when it can be delivered. I guess I know one you would. I would not mind if I was 15min away but 1.5 hrs! You must have some issues if you would do that the time and gas I be sitting in traffic just for a pizza that can be delivered. I make compromises but this is not even a logical one, not even close. I know we have communications problems but this one was not one. I'm not disrespectful to her, and not an ass in fact I'm the most calm one in the relationship. I have driven in traffic, left my friends for her when it calls for it but this situation could have been handled by herself without me driving in rush hour traffic.

[SelflessnHumble]

Let me better explain to you.

In the absence of details speculation is all I can do
but I appreciate the more in depth response, it helps a lot and I apologize for speculating.

There was no party at her house her children's friends came over at the last minute.
The package was a Christmas gift for her daughter it was Christmas eve.

This makes ALL the difference in the world!
If this was last minute she CANNOT expect you to be there while you had previously made other plans period!

My friend calls me to hey do you want to come over for a party (more of a get together) I said cool since I have to wait for the package.

Exactly. If you had made these plans BEFORE she had told you about the children last minute party
then she has no right nor any solid ground to stand on IF you couldn't make it when she either inferred or
had implied when to do so. -This isn't right.

I usually head to her house around 6 after traffic has died down.
When I get to the party she tells me that her children kids are coming over, and they are going to drive her nuts. I reply. Then minutes later she asks me when I'm heading up I because she can't leave the house with the all the kids there.

You just said she had asked you -this denotes uncertainty, right? O.k, so...
Why did you not bypass texting, and simply call her and tell her:

"Honey, look...Had you planned this get together for the kids I could have made other arrangements BUT
I had already made plans to do XXX and to pick up your daughter's Christmas Gift which is at my parent's house.
I'm sorry but I will be unable to make it or to go pick up food considering the traffic and the errands that *I* have to run."

Then you tell her, "You can do it babe...Just order a Pizza and have them deliver it. Even if I left now and canceled all of
my plans the Pizza would still get there before I would." Besides the oldest is 15. Surely he can be left alone
for 20minutes while she gets food.

The children range from 15 to 11. You can't tell me that she can't order pizza and pick it up it is literally 4 blocks from her house or have it delivered! I dont know many people who would drive 1.5 hrs in traffic to pick up a pizza when it can be delivered. I guess I know one you would. I would not mind if I was 15min away but 1.5 hrs! You must have some issues if you would do that the time and gas I be sitting in traffic just for a pizza that can be delivered. I make compromises but this is not even a logical one, not even close. I know we have communications problems but this one was not one. I'm not disrespectful to her, and not an ass in fact I'm the most calm one in the relationship. I have driven in traffic, left my friends for her when it calls for it but this situation could have been handled by herself without me driving in rush hour traffic.

Well originally your post was a little foggy and it stands to reason that IF you were
more than an hour away, it doesn't make sense for you to drive twice that and more in overall time to
deliver a pizza then resume your day afterward...iit makes perfect sense.
HOWEVER she seems to be consistent in that she is irrationally
having unrealistic expectations of you considering the circumstance and the fact it was Christmas Eve:

One of the worst days to drive in!

The best course of action is based on what I've read is to
sit her down and tell her how you feel, not from your point of view, but from THE unbiased
position of how she was being selfish and unfair to your needs and prior engagements.

If she isn't willing to hear you out there is no reason to be in this constant abusive environment where
you feel you have to apologize when SHE is in the wrong (more often than not)

I would never discuss an issue like this via texting because she has to hear
in your voice, not through a cell phone that is limited in contextual messages.

[Raze]

I been with my gf for over 2 years, she has 3 children from her previous marriage and I can't stand it when she gets angry and makes mountains out of ant hills. 2 Red flags. Children and drama queen

cant leave the house because of the children Looks like you aren't going to have any fun anytime soon.

If she thinks I should apologize for anything she got another thing coming, I am always the one apologizing even when she wrong


Sounds like whatever discussion or argument you have, she will always be right just because she has something you want - a vagina. Am I wrong?

[Loveisnoteasy]

Well originally your post was a little foggy and it stands to reason that IF you were
more than an hour away, it doesn't make sense for you to drive twice that and more in overall time to
deliver a pizza then resume your day afterward...iit makes perfect sense.
HOWEVER she seems to be consistent in that she is irrationally
having unrealistic expectations of you considering the circumstance and the fact it was Christmas Eve:

One of the worst days to drive in!

The best course of action is based on what I've read is to
sit her down and tell her how you feel, not from your point of view, but from THE unbiased
position of how she was being selfish and unfair to your needs and prior engagements.

If she isn't willing to hear you out there is no reason to be in this constant abusive environment where
you feel you have to apologize when SHE is in the wrong (more often than not)

I tried explaining to her and her reply was don't ever ask me to do anything for you when you call, I said I would never ask anyone to drive or do anything for me that I can't myself. I said to her you can't expect me to jump everytime you need something that you can handle yourself even if you have a headache or not feeling well when all you had to do was pick up the phone can call. She is can be irrational when she is upset or mad, that is what makes me sick of our relationship. I have mentioned to her that your expectations is what is killing our relationship. If expectations are not met you get pissed, no one will ever meet all your expectations to100% as long as they can come close.
Our relationship is complicated maybe that is why she acts like that. I have my own house and she has hers. She wants me to move in but, I feel that the way she acts really scares me. If I rent my house then she kicks me out where the hell I'm I going to go. Then there of course is my parents they don't like her. She is not invited or welcome to my family functions, I have brought her to one and I told her straight up I'm going to prove it to you I'm not afraid to do it and she came. (told her to be prepared). When we got there my family looked at her and I was not allowed to sit with them, I had my own table which is fine then she started to get upset and wanted to leave and I said we just got here and my cousin invited you and me even though he knows about the situation. Well she stayed and was basically upset. I have told her do you really think I enjoy going to my family functions without you? I don't but do it out of respect for my parents. To them she is just my gf and nothing else, if we were married then they have no choice. I do want to marry her but my job situation is not good right now, I been unemployed for over a year now, and luckily I have a lot saved up. She seems to not understand i'm not like her where she has a job and what I had was a career. It's like telling a doctor you can't find a job as a doctor, well work as Home Depot for now. I might have to relocate not far to nearby states and come back on the weekends till I can find something close. She don't want to hear it, so if I look at it I'm screwed. She is a pain in the ass, and my parents are a pain in the ass. I just want to sometimes to tell them both to GFY. If they really loved me they would never make one choose sides.

[SelflessnHumble]

I tried explaining to her and her reply was don't ever ask me to do anything for you when you call, I said I would never ask anyone to drive or do anything for me that I can't myself. I said to her you can't expect me to jump everytime you need something that you can handle yourself even if you have a headache or not feeling well when all you had to do was pick up the phone can call. She is can be irrational when she is upset or mad, that is what makes me sick of our relationship. I have mentioned to her that your expectations is what is killing our relationship. If expectations are not met you get pissed, no one will ever meet all your expectations to100% as long as they can come close.

I have good and bad news for you:
The good news is that Love is Easy!

The bad news is:
She doesn't "love" you even though a women can equate (generally) gifts and sex as "love."
Based on your posts she is VERY selfish and has self entitlement issues which if not catered to
with exact precision and conformity: YOU get punished as a result: This isn't the way LOVE works man.
She is the text book definition of what to avoid in a relationship.

You're absolutely correct here.
She will never be truly happy because she will happily interject with what you "could" have done
better, or how you didn't do this "correctly" and similar irrational argumentative points of view.

Our relationship is complicated maybe that is why she acts like that. I have my own house and she has hers. She wants me to move in but, I feel that the way she acts really scares me. If I rent my house then she kicks me out where the hell I'm I going to go.

(1) Un-complicate things:
-It is perfectly fine (and wise) to have separate homes...However consider renting out
one or two rooms, so that if she does kick you out: You can go home. Problem solved.

Then there of course is my parents they don't like her. She is not invited or welcome to my family functions, I have brought her to one and I told her straight up I'm going to prove it to you I'm not afraid to do it and she came. (told her to be prepared). When we got there my family looked at her and I was not allowed to sit with them, I had my own table which is fine then she started to get upset and wanted to leave and I said we just got here and my cousin invited you and me even though he knows about the situation. Well she stayed and was basically upset. I have told her do you really think I enjoy going to my family functions without you? I don't but do it out of respect for my parents. To them she is just my gf and nothing else, if we were married then they have no choice.

I don't understand why they don't "like" her so if it is because you don't have a marriage and if they are old
school I could understand, although slightly because this is considered courting and you two are not living together so I
fail to see the issue, BUT in my direct experience (and each one of them were very hot) My family did not
like them for a reason, and they ended up always being right about these women...

She is too self absorbed to patiently and lovingly understand how you feel and to empathize with them.
It almost sounds like she had wanted to go just for the sake of making you choose her over your parents
knowing that she wasn't liked or wanted there. I don't agree with how you "prepared" her. It could have been done
in a much more supportive way in retrospect. You are right, though. Out of respect for your parents is key.
It's their house and their right to feel the way they do, even if it too is irrational.

Have you tried talking to them in identifying why they feel the way they do towards her?

I do want to marry her but my job situation is not good right now, I been unemployed for over a year now, and luckily I have a lot saved up. She seems to not understand i'm not like her where she has a job and what I had was a career. It's like telling a doctor you can't find a job as a doctor, well work as Home Depot for now. I might have to relocate not far to nearby states and come back on the weekends till I can find something close. She don't want to hear it, so if I look at it I'm screwed. She is a pain in the ass, and my parents are a pain in the ass. I just want to sometimes to tell them both to GFY. If they really loved me they would never make one choose sides.

This can be easily resolved IF you want it to:
Your unemployment issues have nothing to do with your girlfriend.
If she fails to understand your situation: SHE is the one that should GFH.

Next, you have to sit down with your parents and ask them
point blank, "Do you want me to be happy?"
If they are selfish enough to dictate WHO you should date based on their own selfishness
and/or criteria then they have major issues with acceptance and are similar to your girlfriend
in nature...ironically.

If you are a glutton for punishment: Stay with this woman and continue to have
to be brow beaten and attacked because she is a piss poor planner and sucks at organization.

She will undoubtedly continually B-lame *you* for things that aren't even your fault because she cannot:
Accept responsibility for her actions nor her inaction.

Do the right thing man and just let her go.
If you cannot, then you need to sit her down
and tell ask her if she truly loves you...If she does:

Write, print and show her this right here:

-Unconditional love is: selfless, humble, forgiving, patient, understanding, compassionate, empathic and affirming.
-Never give based on reciprocity, give just because, not to receive in return.
-Never have expectations -they will never be met- on a satisfactory level.
-It is already implied that as a human being you deserve to be treated with:
-Respect, honor, dignity and above else: love.

-Be slow to speak, and slow to anger. (humility)
-A relationship is never 50/50...it's 100% for each person.
-Don't argue, yell or fight. Instead discuss disagreements without injecting irrational emotions.
-Practice open + honest communication...always!

-Don't lie either by passive aggression or omission.
-Curb the ego and always see the perspective of your opponent.
-Be true to yourself and don't settle for anything. Compromise instead.
-Don't burn bridges, curse enemies. Love them just the same.

-Control your emotions, don't let them control you.
-Don't follow your heart: lead it instead!
-Realize that opinions/beliefs are just opinions/beliefs and are just extensions of the person. They are not the person!
-Don't take anything personal!

This is just a little road map for being in a loving relationship.
I hope it helps and I hope everything works out.

I see no reason why you two can't last if you adhere to these words!

Don't forget: The truest measure of a man/woman lies in what they do for someone that can do nothing for them
in return...

[Junket]

Unconditional love does not exist in romantic relationships.

[SelflessnHumble]

Unconditional love does not exist in romantic relationships.

It does in mine so yes it does exist.
My relationship isn't based on romanticism.

[Loveisnoteasy]

I don't understand why they don't "like" her so if it is because you don't have a marriage and if they are old
school I could understand, although slightly because this is considered courting and you two are not living together so I
fail to see the issue, BUT in my direct experience (and each one of them were very hot) My family did not
like them for a reason, and they ended up always being right about these women...

She is too self absorbed to patiently and lovingly understand how you feel and to empathize with them.
It almost sounds like she had wanted to go just for the sake of making you choose her over your parents
knowing that she wasn't liked or wanted there. I don't agree with how you "prepared" her. It could have been done
in a much more supportive way in retrospect. You are right, though. Out of respect for your parents is key.
It's their house and their right to feel the way they do, even if it too is irrational.

Have you tried talking to them in identifying why they feel the way they do towards her?

They don't like her because they first are old school, she divorced with 3 children, we dated when we where younger and and a lot of things happened the minimum was I could have gotten arrested for aggravated assault and they blame her. I take full responsibility for all my actions and don't blame anyone for anything I have done in my life. They first said she only going out with you cause you make good money, now I'm unemployed she still with me. I love my parents cause they put up with a lot of my crap during my younger years and paid for a lot of my education. But, then again I love my GF, but she don't understand that they my family and no matter what I have to respect that. I been telling her if I really did not want to be with you why the hell am I putting my family and me especially through hell to be with you. She fails to realize that I have taken given up a lot. My parents even said they will disown me and I wont get any inheritance from them. Out of all the brothers and sister I have I do the most for my family and sometimes I do feel the right that I should get more. But, I am willing to give up that for her. All she sees is that if I attend family functions that she is not invited to I don't care or love her. I could care less if I wasn't invited to any of her family functions. Who cares as long as she is true to me and I get to hold her at night is all that matters. On Christmas Eve she went out to lunch with her children's aunt she never said a word to me about it because she was still mad at me, I only knew because her daughter told me. It just pissed me off that she so immature about it and just leave without telling me anything. So I left her house never been back or talked to her. I know this issue will never get resolved unless I am the one who calls first and quite frankly I don't want to deal with it. I do love her and her children ( I treat them like they mine and get a long very well because I am like a big kid and can understand their struggles more then their mother), but do I really want to put with the immaturity. Talking never seems to help because it ends up her yelling and her taking over the conversation on how I did this and that.

[SelflessnHumble]

They don't like her because they first are old school, she divorced with 3 children, we dated when we where younger and and a lot of things happened the minimum was I could have gotten arrested for aggravated assault and they blame her. I take full responsibility for all my actions and don't blame anyone for anything I have done in my life.

I was in this very situation and even though it took me a long while to actually see everything clearly:
The girl that I had been constantly arguing, fighting and having drama with is long gone.
She was killing me slowly if that makes any sense to you. She was a slow acting toxic poison, and I knew it.
I just didn't care because: I "loved" her. First thing's first.

-You have got to sit down with them and tell them the truth about what had happened.
-Not to skew their opinion but to close this page in your book and to set the record.
-However even after you do this they will not ever forget the drama she had caused or contributed to.

I will say that had she made an effort to humble herself: and then apologize things may have been different.
As I had stated earlier entitled people do not apologize because they have an Ego so big they see their fault as yours.

They first said she only going out with you cause you make good money, now I'm unemployed she still with me. I love my parents cause they put up with a lot of my crap during my younger years and paid for a lot of my education. But, then again I love my GF, but she don't understand that they my family and no matter what I have to respect that.

Look, she may not understand how you feel because she may not have been brought up in
a household like yours (with two loving parents) and this can skew her mental awareness on what is
good behavior; what is tolerable and finally what is NOT. If she was never exposed to this she cannot be
expected to see how you feel, much less understand because as it is she is incapable of it! The great thing is
that she can still learn this (because it is learned behavior) and that she can pick up but you must:

-Tell her, show her, then involve her. Saying it isn't enough and giving an example is not enough. Involve her
and then she will understand. (IF she is open minded to your future) IF you two are to make it she needs to
humble herself and this only comes with selflessness and humility: meaning she has to be capable of empathy
and put herself in your parent's shoes.

I been telling her if I really did not want to be with you why the hell am I putting my family and me especially through hell to be with you. She fails to realize that I have taken given up a lot. My parents even said they will disown me and I wont get any inheritance from them. Out of all the brothers and sister I have I do the most for my family and sometimes I do feel the right that I should get more. But, I am willing to give up that for her.

That is a true sacrifice BUT guess what?
She doesn't see it: which means she does NOT appreciate you nor
is she willing to affirm her "love" for you when she acts
in these selfish and irrational mannerisms.
You two are a recipe for disaster.
Your parents are correct in how they feel, although they arrive at their conclusion taking a different route.
What does it matter that they arrive at the same destination: She isn't good for you.
You will not have a lasting, loving relationship with the way she is currently. She needs to
invoke massive change and she doesn't even see it.

All she sees is that if I attend family functions that she is not invited to I don't care or love her. I could care less if I wasn't invited to any of her family functions. Who cares as long as she is true to me and I get to hold her at night is all that matters. On Christmas Eve she went out to lunch with her children's aunt she never said a word to me about it because she was still mad at me, I only knew because her daughter told me. It just pissed me off that she so immature about it and just leave without telling me anything. So I left her house never been back or talked to her. I know this issue will never get resolved unless I am the one who calls first and quite frankly I don't want to deal with it. I do love her and her children ( I treat them like they mine and get a long very well because I am like a big kid and can understand their struggles more then their mother), but do I really want to put with the immaturity. Talking never seems to help because it ends up her yelling and her taking over the conversation on how I did this and that.

She only sees what she is able to see.
She doesn't respect you enough to communicate what the heck is going on because:
She doesn't feel you need to know which in turn tells me she holds you in contempt much of the time
whenever the situation suits her at her whim. -You want to marry her even though she treats you like dirt?-
Don't you realize if you didn't get the package she would have invoked "Christmas" and throw it in your face
you did not get her daughter a "gift" and would have punished you for that? Then there's the complaining of
you picking up the pizza (something goes wrong with the order) yet YOU are blamed for it...Where do you
stop using "love" and wanting to hold her at night as an excuse to get constantly berated with malcontent?

If a person has to yell to get a point across: they don't love you, nor respect you.
If you are constantly interrupted then she doesn't GAS about your opinion nor what you have to say.
She has already dismissed it in her mind. She dominates the conversation because she doesn't value
your opinion and just likes to hear herself talk, and "be right" because to her: "Being right" means everything.

When people go out of their way to prove other people wrong or to "Smite" them?
They feel anything BUT love for you.

Head for Thee Hillz and leave if sitting down and talking to her
does not work. I would add that if she smokes, drinks Diet sodas, eats processed foods
this could contribute to a heightened/negative temperament.

You need to be assertive.
Just because you are unemployed doesn't mean you are CRAP and have
any less input on your lives together/future.

You don't need this Sh*t.
No one should ever put up with this.

[Loveisnoteasy]

SelflessnHumble,

Thanks your you advice, you been very helpful. You know also that is funny there is always 3 sides to a story, but the truth is I tell it is and I don't fluff or make things up. She tells me that her friends that I'm at fault or that I need to step up as a man. My answer to her is tell your friends to talk to me and I tell them the truth. You are correct that she does not come from the same family background as me. Her parents are divorced and she has no close relationship with her family. I had to always emphasize to her to visit or go to her house to eat. She literally lives 4 blocks from her house. If I could eat everyday with my family I would, I love my mom's cooking and you know what she's not going to be around forever. Visiting elders make them feel good, like they are cherished, I sometimes think she fails to comprehend that, I said what if you kids never visit you and they only live 4 blocks away. How would you feel? Her reply was I be ok with it, I said BS, especially what you had to go through with your ex. I always try to live my life drama free, and at peace and the least stress as possible things worry me but I tell her there are million people out there that are worst then you. Her reply I don't know them and don't care about them. I guess I have to wait and see how this turns out, either way I lose lol.. Thanks again and have a Happy New Year