Hi there everyone, I'm Tom. This is my first post as I feel I need a place to vent - or hope to get some advice from you 'experts'!
So here goes:
Almost exactly two years ago I found the love of my life. It really was a match made in heaven, we suited each other perfectly and it was like no feeling I every felt before. I had waited a long time to meet the right person, 8 years of serious searching, so it was also a great relief to finally be truly happy. She also felt the same way, she said that she feels a different person and her colleagues noticed too.
We had a fantastic couple of years and were very much a loved up couple - everyone around noticed that. The affection and love never subsided and we shared some great experiences together such as a hot air balloon ride, and a long holiday to Australia plus a lot more. She still lives with her mother and I have my own place and although she's 9 years younger than me we often forget that fact as everything seems so natural and right. We spoke on the same level, we comprimised rather than argued and we shared the same future dreams of getting a house, marriage and kids.
Then a couple of weeks ago we had a bit of an arguement over something small which is rare. She then proceeded to break down and say that she is depressed and can't be with me anymore. This was shocking to hear. We were both very upset and she said she feels we are drifting apart, the relationship has become routine and we are more like best friends than lovers. With me in tears she continued to tell me things about her past that she's never told anyone and it's affecting her more than she knew. I put my upset to one side and comforted her, told her it'll be ok and we'll find some help together.
Minutes later we were kissing again, still upset, but it felt real, like she'd made a mistake, and we ended up in the bedroom.
The next morning we put a plan together as she accepted she needed help. We booked the doctors, got some time off work and a talk with a counsillor. Everything was gonna work out, but she said she needed some space from me. We decided to just get through Christmas and then sort our problems out. Days before Christmas she sent me the lovliest, most heartfelt text i've ever read about how much she loves me and thanks me for being there.
Christmas morning and all was fine - we were at her mothers so it was the three of us. An hour before dinner was ready unfortunately she started to feel unwell, shivering, sore through - signs of the flu we thought. This put a slight downer on the day but we ate dinner and got through it. Later that day she needed some time alone and went up to bed. An hour later her mother went to see if she's OK and 10 minutes later thay both came down and asked me to leave. She didn't want to be with me anymore. I begged for her to reconsider but she was just cold about it and I was heartbroken.
After saying i'll always love you I got out of there, confused and incredibly upset.
She has since been over only to collect her things from my flat, and to say a final goodbye.
I want her back so dearly as she is the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. She has a great heart and didn't want to hurt me but thinks it's for the best. The way she was acting wasn't like her at all. I have tried to follow advice of not contacting her as hard as it has been. I can't eat, sleep and have never cried so much in all my life over anything.
I would do anything to get her back.
Thank you reading, it's been good to type this all down but the pain in my heart just won't go away.
Tom.