Should I text ex back? I want him to want me!

[missnw]

My ex boyfriend who I still love has a new girlfriend...it's killing me but I think I've played it pretty cool so far...I've seen them in public together and I stayed composed and normal. They are facebook offical and its the beginning of their relationship...so WHY did he text me about going snowboarding? I woudln't mind going, but this is weird...i can't even believe he would think to text me if he is in the new honeymoon stage of a relationship with his new girl. I almost feel like I have the power again, because I haven't written back...should i? what should i say?

[smackie9]

If want any power then let the message come loud and clear to him that you will have nothing to do with him when he has a GF. Stay away. Trust me you will make yourself more desirable to him by cutting him off. If you are worth it to him he will break up with her to be with you. If he doesn't then it's just all bs and he's playin ya.

[irrelevant_89]

^ Exactly. And I should add, don't hesitate in forgetting about him completely and moving on if it doesn't go as you want. The worst thing you can do is to keep wallowing in unrequited love. Trust me, I've been there.

[mrz16]

I agree with the first two posts. However pushing someone away will only work if they still have feeling for you. If your ex in question has truly moved on then pushing him away will in fact push him away, hell get the idea that you are also moving on with life and things may fizzle out, of course you could stay friends. On the other hand being too clingy and needy may also push him away also as it will give him the idea that you still have feelings for him and if he is moving on with him new girlfriend he will do nothing but string you along. My advice to you would be to keep a formal friendship with him and about this skiing trip ask him whether hi new girlfriend would mind you going along. Depending on your judgement of what he say you have to make the decision whether or not it would be a good idea to go.

[damn2010]

Could grab a guyfriend and bring him along.

[mrz16]

/\ Definitaley

[lennox]

don't ignore his texts. respond directly. it's best you don't go on the trip. you'll be disadvantaged.

in this scenario, he has leverage by moving on and being with someone else.

i'm sure he'll feel the same way if you moved on first.

human relationships can be strategic. it's mostly about leverage and social value.

build value for yourself, he'll find his way home.

if not, then move on.

hope that helps

lennox

[hello1]

Just be straight with him. Lots of girls end up as a guy side girl

[Gratedwasabi]

He wants to have his new girlfriend and still **** you, probably. Maybe you're better in bed then her, she's holding out, whatever.

The correct response is to tell him to shove off.

[shiro]

My ex boyfriend who I still love has a new girlfriend...it's killing me but I think I've played it pretty cool so far...I've seen them in public together and I stayed composed and normal. They are facebook offical and its the beginning of their relationship...so WHY did he text me about going snowboarding? I woudln't mind going, but this is weird...i can't even believe he would think to text me if he is in the new honeymoon stage of a relationship with his new girl. I almost feel like I have the power again, because I haven't written back...should i? what should i say?

It would be best to text him back that it wouldn't be smart to do and that you two should wait with something like this. Then later you should text him. Men sometimes can be simply minded sometimes and just seek fun while not thinking about the other person. If there is anything else about this or about anything else, just ask

[ianoulla]

Hi, actually reading your posting and the responses has convinced me that:

you should not respond, if he feels anything for you, he will come back to you.

Indirectly your posting and the other responses has convinced me, I must do the same. My story is more complicated but in essence the same, eg the men are the same, they want their cake and eat it too - I must respond as I suggest to you. We must value ourselves and not devalue ourselves by being needy and pathetic.... Hard as it is, try to move on, I am doing this.

Good luck

[Boisdevie]

Text him back and tell him to sod off.

[ianoulla]

Ha ha Boisdevie nicely put. I didn't like to say this, either tell him to get lost or ignore him completely, not even worthy of a response, they hate that!!

[calisurfjump]

First delete him from your Facebook, I know it sounds childish, but it's time to move on and even though it will hurt, you have to be strong. If you're still friends on Facebook, you still have a connection with him. I'm sure you check out his page and look at his pictures. This is not good for you. You have to be strong. It might turn into an obsession of some sorts. If I were in your shoes, I would delete him tonight and reply to his txts that you cant go for whatever reason. It's going to be real painful for you to see him with this girl and you shouldn't put yourself in that situation. All this is easier said that done, but you have to be strong. I'm going through a bad breakup, was dumped on Monday and found out he has a new GF on Tuesday. I'm done crying and thinking of the "what ifs", he's coming tomorrow to get his things and I will be done with him less the 24 hours from now. Look at it this way...we are going into a new year as free individuals to do whatever we want and have fun.

[ianoulla]

Wow, what a girl! I have been trying to do what you are doing. I told him to go I couldn't stand the games any more. You are so right, it's so easy to become obsessive, I have been guilty of that for the past 3 months. I left the country for a while trying to put distance between us in every sense. My problem is I have done this 3 times before, this is the 4th, but as soon as he comes to me, I totally cave in. I am going to approach the New Year, with your outlook, yes we are free now. I am hoping he approaches me again, so that I can truly say NO! Good luck to you and missnw......