Apparently girls just see me as the rebound guy..?

[Areo]

Ok so i've been coming on here lately looking for advice with this particular relationship i was in. To sum up, me and this girl dated for a few months, she wasn't really my type; she was a party girl, i do my fair share of bars, but only on the weekends when i dont work the next morning. But i've been asking for advice because we had a lot of arguments, i didnt trust her, etc...Well low and behold, this past week we've been at each others throats every night. Cussing each other out, ignoring each other, just a lot of kiddie drama. So i text her today asking if she just wants to end this..no reply. I text her again at about 5 pm..no answer. Then she texts me at 8 saying she was at work (which is shady because she has never worked past 7 but i figure eh, its the hollidays maybe theyre making her stay late) so i reply with "call me when you get out". No reply, no call, nothing. I go to bed, and woke up at 4:30 am from a weird dream i had about her with another guy(intuition's a mother****er aint it?) So i text her saying "thanks for responding". I get a call a minute later, and its her ****ing ex bf, making threats and all this shit.

Now thats not the problem, ok shes an immature, trailer trash bitch, life goes on. But this is the 2nd time this has happened to me in 3 years. A girl im dating runs back to her ex, and ends up calling me like he had no idea she was with someone else. What makes me the rebound guy? Im decent looking, im just real chill, passive aggressive, i got my own condo, car, career and im only 22. And there has been girls i dated in between where they legit liked me and i broke it off with them for various reasons. But this is the 2nd girl i really had true feelings for, only to get ****ed in the end. So what gives? Why am i rebound guy to these whores?

[sookie6]

I don't think it's a curse..it's just more common than you think to be dating someone who has unfinished business with their ex which also explains erratic behaviour, low level of involvement/commitment in the new relationship.

One can only date seriously again when they are clearly moved on. This is the theory...in real life people are often in denial and jump into the next person they can find to forget about the hurt.

Forget about these 2 f....ed up people and find yourself a nice and balanced girl.

[Areo]

I don't think it's a curse..it's just more common than you think to be dating someone who has unfinished business with their ex which also explains erratic behaviour, low level of involvement/commitment in the new relationship.

One can only date seriously again when they are clearly moved on. This is the theory...in real life people are often in denial and jump into the next person they can find to forget about the hurt.

Forget about these 2 f....ed up people and find yourself a nice and balanced girl.

yeah well i live in Michigan. Its pretty much impossible to find a "nice and balanced" girl. Every chick here is either a head case, a pill popping belligerent, or a slut. Gotta love Michigan..

[doppelgaenger]

yeah, where at in michigan? i grew up in the glass city. all the girls i know back home are screwed up, but i wouldn't say they're all like that.

just avoid the rebound girls like the plague - it's not a curse.

[Areo]

yeah, where at in michigan? i grew up in the glass city. all the girls i know back home are screwed up, but i wouldn't say they're all like that.

just avoid the rebound girls like the plague - it's not a curse.

metro detroit. And how do i know if theyre rebound girls?

[doppelgaenger]

keep your eyes peeled for any signs of it - red flags. i run at the first sign of trouble... so daddy issues, a lot of chatting about an ex/exes, especially if it's nostalgic or reminiscent. hell, i wouldn't even bother with the drama, instead i'd drop her like a hot potato! you gotta decide when enough is enough.

[Areo]

keep your eyes peeled for any signs of it - red flags. i run at the first sign of trouble... so daddy issues, a lot of chatting about an ex/exes, especially if it's nostalgic or reminiscent. hell, i wouldn't even bother with the drama, instead i'd drop her like a hot potato! you gotta decide when enough is enough.

Yeah but its weird, she never spoke about this ex before. I mean i knew he was friends with one of her friends and occasionally they would see each other at parties but the one ex "john" was the one she always talked about. She never spoke of this "jake" cunt. She even admitted to me she still wasn't over john, and she wanted to take things slow but idk whatever man. Its all history now. Another trashy michigan skank who i fall for, ends up ****ing me in the heart AGAIN. Im just worried i wont be able to trust another girl again. **** why me with this bullshit? Especially on christmas eve

[vertical_sky]

It does sound like she was dishonest, and you shouldn't have to deal with girls like that. However, declaring things like "Every chick here is either a head case, a pill popping belligerent, or a slut" is kind of a red flag. I mean, what's the common denominator in meeting these girls? ... You. So maybe you should take a good hard look at who you're attracted to/what you're attracting.

Just a word of advice, avoid calling girls whores even if they are whores. Well balanced and nice girls tend to run when they hear you referring to past exes as whores or psychos cause it gives them the impression that's how you'll be referring to THEM someday.

[girl68]

2 times in 3 years? That doesn't seem bad to me.

[smackie9]

I know it must be difficult to date these days. So many of these girls are immature, have illegitimate kids, are spoiled, self centered and lets face it, they can't be trusted. It sucks a s s. But there are nice girls out there you are just not looking in the right place....you certainly won't find them at the bar or at a kegger. Try hanging out at a trendy book store/ coffee shop or at Starbucks in a nice area of the city. It might be boring but it's not the bar. Or get into a healthy activity like going to the gym.

Dating is like buying a car, you have to kick some tires to find the right one. The secret is to really get to know the person by asking the right questions. A girl you can trust is one that is willing to open up to you intimately, telling you their deepest thoughts. And also they need to show an interest in you on an emotional level. Finding someone that's is attractive and fun is only the icing on the cake. Good communication is key to a long lasting relationship.

Warning sign: when they say lets take things slow, dump them. That's a BIG red flag that hey have unresolved issues like trying to get over an ex or they have another interest they are working on. It's bull s h it you shouldn't have to deal with. Be picky.

[sookie6]

Also how long ago they split up with their ex will give you a clue on whether she has moved on or not...too fresh is never good...