Confused about men - of course!

[Suzii]

I really don't know what to do, I am getting on a bit in life, but look young for my age and still attract male attention. But it never goes any further - never get asked out etc, never have a man chase me, even though I do get men who seem to get fixated on me but never do anything about it. I even have one male friend that I thought was a good friend admit that he would have married me - yet this man had never once even asked me out or suggested he wanted a relationship and he still doesn't.

If I was never proactive about getting together with a man then I would never have one. According to men that I know, I am 'average good looking - but with a great personality - great eyes and ass'. I have tried sitting back and waiting for men to come to me - but that doesn't work - I just end up without a man. Well of course I do have the old problem of the few men that do go after me are the ones I have no interest in!

What am I doing wrong - if anything? I hate it when people say don't chase a man - because that only seems to work if you are drop dead gorgeous to look at.

Any constructive advice would be much appreciated - thanks.

[Boisdevie]

Get out there and ask men out. Try the website plentyoffish - worked well for me. Good luck.

[Regnent]

The only thing you're doing wrong is nothing.
Don't sit there expecting a man to come get you.

Otherwise, I can only guess you somehow come across of guarded or disinterested.

[Suzii]

Thanks guys - that's my point though. I have always been more the sort who is proactive about men - yet I get told that I should not be so proactive - that men don't like that! I disagree with that personally - but I keep hearing and reading that if you chase or make the first move with men that it is not a good start to a relationship... I have had a couple of bad experiences with this - but in general I find that men are too scared to make a move and glad when the woman does - of course I would only do it if I saw the signs were good that he liked me. I think I am going to start getting proactive again

[devonbrown]

Men actually like it when a woman makes the first move and approaches. Don't worry so much about who is approaching whom.
Also, you seem to put an awful lot of importance on appearance. Outward beauty is only of initial importance. Once you start to get to know someone, other things become much more important.
And if you have people who you get to know and are interested in, don't be afraid to ask them out.

Finally, remember this -
Your ego is less important than your happiness.

Good luck.

[Kama]

I really don't know what to do, I am getting on a bit in life, but look young for my age and still attract male attention. But it never goes any further - never get asked out etc, never have a man chase me, even though I do get men who seem to get fixated on me but never do anything about it. I even have one male friend that I thought was a good friend admit that he would have married me - yet this man had never once even asked me out or suggested he wanted a relationship and he still doesn't.

If I was never proactive about getting together with a man then I would never have one. According to men that I know, I am 'average good looking - but with a great personality - great eyes and ass'. I have tried sitting back and waiting for men to come to me - but that doesn't work - I just end up without a man. Well of course I do have the old problem of the few men that do go after me are the ones I have no interest in!

What am I doing wrong - if anything? I hate it when people say don't chase a man - because that only seems to work if you are drop dead gorgeous to look at.

Any constructive advice would be much appreciated - thanks.

Today we are connected virtually and can text-message and plenty of men will turn up. You sound very sexy and wild. I am sure you can easily arrest men sexually.

Do try if you really want romantic guys online. Do not despair my dear life is short and you have to enjoy before you become too old for all this stuff.

start right now. Somebody maybe waiting for you in the distance and your desire can make him closer and closer

[Regnent]

pft, anything you hear about the starts a relationship having any meaning as to it's quality is full of shyt.

If you are a proactive person, then you are taking the right approach for you, and your chances of finding a man who can respect that are better than you waiting around for a proactive man.

[Olenjka10]

Well as much as i hate making a first move myself, its often a good idea. Sometimes its enough just to show that you are interested, and sometimes you have to approach the guy- but one thing for sure- if you do nothing, that's exactly what you gonna get- nothing. As for online dating- not sure if it works for everyone. But try it just for the heck of it. You never know. Good luck. Let me know how its working for you

[Boisdevie]

Take it from me, men love it when a women makes it plain that they are interested in them. In my own case, I'm 46 and male. My current GF asked me out, she invited me into her bed, basically she made the running - and I loved it, the feeling of being desired, of being wanted - it was the best. There is nothing wrong with women asking men out.

[meshulam]

I agree, that many men likes it when a women makes it plain that they are interested in them BUT i don't think a lady should do all the work...

a nice smile, some flirting should be enough

lets us know how things going for you

[Regnent]

Making the first move, or initiating something is a far ways away from doing all the work.

I don't like doing all the work, in fact, I only want to do half. Otherwise, I personally feel either neglected or used.