Made out on the first date...good or bad?

[xRJ85x]

So there's sort of two different dilemmas I'm having with this situation, but right now I'm worried that the title might be more of the problem.

Met a beautiful, smart, very friendly girl online. But very busy (is trying to start her own business on top of work). Got her number and called her, but left a voicemail. A week and a half passes, and I get a text saying "Sorry I didn't get back to you now, I've been super busy with work! But I hope we can still meet up!" Being the laid back, carefree guy I am, I text her back a few times and we set up a date.

What began as a few drinks ended up with her begging me to stay out later, turning into an all night through the next day make out session at her place, with her telling me she "doesn't normally do this with guys" and her friend who we met up with earlier in the night trying to convince me of "how wonderful a person she is." She kissed me goodbye and says "call me." That was on a Friday-Saturday.

I texted her Sunday to ask if she felt better Saturday (we were both hungover), and she laughed, asking me how I felt too and saying "it was quite the first date!" I called her Tuesday to try and schedule another date, but got her voicemail again. Haven't heard back from her yet...

I plan on trying her again Sunday or Monday night if I don't hear anything. As I said before, she actually is very busy, and she seems honest. But now my first problem is that I'm afraid that making out with her that night screwed up something, and I don't want her to get the wrong impression, and I really like her and would like to see if something long term happened. Do I address this issue somehow when I call her back? Or is it not as big a deal, and something else being an issue?

Ladies opinions would of course be preferred here...

[Ryan Heitzman]

Making out is soo hot.

[Boisdevie]

When you use the phrase 'make out' do you mean sex, fondling, kissing, what?

[xRJ85x]

When you use the phrase 'make out' do you mean sex, fondling, kissing, what?

B and C. Kissing and fondling. She told me she while we were making out that she "wasn't going to give it up to me on the first date." Not that it mattered, because I don't do that with girls anymore even if she wanted to give it up.

[Boisdevie]

You showed each other that you had phyical desire for each other. What is wrong with that? Would be prefer indifference?

[vashti]

I agree that nothing was wrong with what you did, so don't apologize or try to explain it away. However, I think it is vital you establish some sort of boundary regarding the lack of contact early on (in a very subtle way), or this could end up being your lifestyle. If/when you hear from her again, you might tell her that you had wanted to take her to do ________, but since she didn't contact you, you ended up inviting someone else. This will send the message that you aren't going to sit around waiting for her for days to call you back. Be nice about it, and go ahead and make plans with her, but she needs to know she isn't the only one who matters. Everyone is busy.

[xRJ85x]

I agree that nothing was wrong with what you did, so don't apologize or try to explain it away. However, I think it is vital you establish some sort of boundary regarding the lack of contact early on (in a very subtle way), or this could end up being your lifestyle. If/when you hear from her again, you might tell her that you had wanted to take her to do ________, but since she didn't contact you, you ended up inviting someone else. This will send the message that you aren't going to sit around waiting for her for days to call you back. Be nice about it, and go ahead and make plans with her, but she needs to know she isn't the only one who matters. Everyone is busy.

I'm glad you said this, cuz it's exactly what I was gonna say. I didn't leave in specific what I had in mind for a date on the voicemail, but I had a fun date lined up. I was gonna say to her "You know...I had this fun date planned and everything but...." jokingly.

[Olenjka10]

It sounds like she wanted to make out with you and the first date is as good as any if you both feel comfortable with each other. Bu if she did go for it only because she had a little to much to drink, she may be thinking the same was you are right now , that you screwed up something. Try calling her again and don't bring this issue, at least not now. My only concern is that she doesn't text you back. Very busy doesn't cut it, since a text takes about half a minute. Good luck anyway.

[Boisdevie]

Yeah, stay in touch asap - you had a wonderful time - let her know - life is way too short for bullshit mind games.