My close friend is confusing me as to what he wants..?

[MissShrimpy]

I began speaking to a boy, we'll call him john, who used to go to my school, he's in college now. And we get on really well and we've met up several times.

At first I decided not to fall for him, because I know I'm easily taken by people and I didn't want that sort of thing with him.
But the more we talked the more I began to like him.

After going round each others houses a couple of times, he came round my house one day and suddenly decided to act really cuddley with me whilst we were watching tv, he put his arm around me and caressed my exposed skin with the tips of his fingers. It's something that I really wouldn't of expected him to do, specially with me. After watching tv, we played xbox and he claimed he was going to distract me so I would lose, and he started touching my bum and he kissed me on the cheek. But because he'd never done something like this before, I just dismissed it.

I began to start seeing another boy, who is now my boyfriend, and my other friend got really unsettled by it and became really protective one night and I sensed a tiny bit of jealousy.
The next week, my friend "john" told me that he thought I liked him but he wasn't looking for a relationship and wanted to tell me before I got too attached, I was fine with this, but he also said "I guess I can only really want what I can't have, that's why I was a bit coocoo when you were going over that guys house". I have no idea if he meant he wanted me or he was hinting to something else.

The next week, I meet up with him again, this time I am dating the boy I am seeing after "John" told me it was best to get with the other boy rather than waiting around for him. So I went round his house and he started being cuddley and doing exactly the same thing as last time, and when I said I had to go, he grabbed onto me tightly and wouldn't seem to let go, he also isn't a very big fan of texting and doesn't put kisses, but straight after I left, he sent me a text saying "thankyou for coming round x".
That night he also invited me into several games of cod, which was rare of him to do.

The next week, again, he stayed over my house as my parents were away for a day and night, and he seemed even more cuddley than usual. I then turned to face him during a film and our lips touched ( i have discussed this with my boyfriend and we're okay with this at the moment), it wasn't a proper kiss, they just touched. And he said "its not cheating, our heads just banged together".

Later, when we were watching even more films, he began to get even more intimate and touching me all over my body, like on my breasts and my bum, and we had a few moments were our lips touched again but it wasn't a proper kiss, and he just turned and kissed me on the cheek instead. I don't understand if this is classified as leading me on or if its just absolutely nothing. I talked to him about the touching and the "flirting" and he said he was just being playful, and how he did want more than a cuddle, but it wasn't allowed because of my boyfriend and the fact I'm not of legal age yet.

He's also been ill this week, and he's starting to compliment me on a lot of things and he tells me he misses me and he wants me with him and wants to cuddle me.

I don't understand what he wants from me, if it's just a bit of flirtatious fun or if he actually wants something more..? Any ideas?

[dan2k7]

Its not overly important at this stage what he wants its what you want. Letting him touch you in such a way while you are with another lad is wrong. You will end up hurting someone if you carry on this way.

[devonbrown]

I agree with dan2k7 that you are an active participant in this, not just a passive bystander. If you are with another boy, don't let "john" touch you, caress you, etc. It is pretty much that simple.
As for what he wants, it sounds like he wants to convince you that he likes you and is being innocent, but his actions appear that he is leading towards a more physical relationship with you.
Be cautious with "john" and do not trust everything he says without examining why he might be saying it.