girlfriend flirting expliciatly on facebook, guy lives 5 mins from her...

[djm79]

So, me and my girlfriend have been together for 11 years now, we lived together for 3 years, but unfortunatley we had to move apart due to financial difficulties.

We have had our ups and downs, and even broke up for 6 months at one point.

But recentley things have been ok and we have been thinking about having children etc.

But a week or so ago, I discovered she had been sexually flirting with some guy she used to go to school with, who she fancied when she was there.

I would usually not be that bothered if she flirted online on a chat room with some random person, but the person in question is someone she likes / liked, and also lives very near to her (I am 50miles away).

Basically they exchanged at least 200 messages between each other, and they were very explicit, and she was actually instigating most of them.

I read all the messages, and she was trying to meet up with him on the first night, which he said he couldnt, and then tried to meet up the next night.

On the second night, she had sent me a txt message to say that she had a headache and was going to go to bed really early, luckily, I think, he said that he could not meet her this night, and I found all the messages the next day.

She is adamant that she was going to tell me that she was not going to go meet him without telling me, but then she sends me a message saying she is going to go to sleep early (obviously so I dont phone / txt her during this time), so I am at a loss to know what to think.

Once I found out she was very defensive and said she would of told me if she was going to go and meet him, and after I found out, that she would sever all contact with him.

Unknown to her, I am very good friends with one of her best friends, who told me that she said she was going to go and meet him anyway and just not tell me about it, even though she knew it was wrong.

So, I am kinda confused where to go from here, she says that she loves me and would never of done anything, but her attempted actions seem to speak louder than her words right now.

I think she is only saying all these things because she is being defensive, and is upset at being caught out, of course she is going to say anything she can.

So, what do I do now?

[MerryH]

Unknown to her, I am very good friends with one of her best friends

Why are you keeping this part a secret from your girlfriend? And why were you snooping in her text messages?

She sounds like a cheater, and you sound like you don't trust her anyway. Shitty relationship. Break it off.

[djm79]

Its not a secret, she just doesnt know, I am just good friends with one of her friends.

I did trust her until this.

[girl68]

I'd say call her on her shit! Don't hold anything back tell her everything you know but honestly she is straight up lying to you, gonna take that?

[djm79]

I already told her I know, she only explains away the stuff she knows I know about, when I find out more, she explains further.

Should I be worried she's gonna go **** this guy?

[Ryan Heitzman]

If it were me, I would be all over her on this.

[djm79]

I have been just dunno what to do, I can explain more....if you ask...

[MerryH]

Its not a secret, she just doesnt know, I am just good friends with one of her friends.

How can she just not know about that? Both her best friend and her boyfriend are friends, and neither one of you have ever mentioned anything about your friendship? You'd both have to actively hide that from her if she doesn't know about it. So it is a secret. And it sounds pretty shady.

I did trust her until this.

If you trusted her, you wouldn't have been reading her text messages in the first place. You surely don't trust her now, so there's really nowhere to go from there. Anyway, my point is it sounds like a bad relationship, on both sides. You both suck, you should break up with each other.

[Gratedwasabi]

I already told her I know, she only explains away the stuff she knows I know about, when I find out more, she explains further.

Should I be worried she's gonna go **** this guy?

Considering the only options are either that she already has or has tried to.. I'd go with maybe a bit?

She's cheating on you. Tell her to **** off.

[djm79]

you really think its that simple? We have been together 11years, she is adamant that nothing has or would have happened.

I was looking at her facebook for a message a mutual friend sent us both that I accidentally deleted, I have never looked before, it was only after I saw the initial 2 messages that I looked through her email (I set both these up for her).

Anyway, I'm gonna go see her tommorow for the weekend and see what happens.

[Boisdevie]

I was married for 13 years - it ended. Relationships end - and what's the point having a shit relationship when you could have a better one with somebody else.

[girl68]

Should I be worried she's gonna go **** this guy?

uhhhh YEAH!

[dan2k7]

As others have said, she obviously wants something from this guy either sex or a relationship. I know it will be bloody hard for you after 11 years but finish her and do not let her reel you back in with any excuses. It does not matter what she says to you friend do not go back with her for anything. If she is doing this after you have been together this long it will not stop. You deserve better

[smackie9]

you really think its that simple? We have been together 11years, she is adamant that nothing has or would have happened.

I was looking at her facebook for a message a mutual friend sent us both that I accidentally deleted, I have never looked before, it was only after I saw the initial 2 messages that I looked through her email (I set both these up for her).

Anyway, I'm gonna go see her tommorow for the weekend and see what happens.

She's having an emotional affair dude. Even if there's no sex, that's still cheating. Your relationship has gone stale so she's looking elsewhere for attention. Also there's no limit to when a relationship can end no matter how much time is invested. Wake Up!

[reeba]

Ummmm. She 'is adamant that nothing has or ever will happen'? You believe this? You already caught her in one lie where she said she wasn't going to meet up with this guy, and she did it anyway.

I bet this isn't the first time she has done something like this with a dude. You said this is the first time in 11 years you ever checked her email/facebook. If she has 'never done this before', what are the odds that the one time you check her email in 11 years just happens to be the one time she picks to cheat in 11 years. I call BS, she is cheater, and very likely a cheater before this.