Not patient for waiting for the special someone.

[Ryan Heitzman]

I'm sure some of you guys and gals have felt like this from time to time but I seem to be suffering from it even more than ever. I do go to a therapist but I only see him only once a month. How do you guys and gals deal with it? It's driving me crazy.

[girl68]

you desperation only repulses women. not sure what I do about keep busy and invest in myself. I guess.

[Ryan Heitzman]

I'm not really desperate, I just am very anxious righ now. Not about the sex part but about just being with someone.

I know I sound desperate and you would probably expect me to be down that road from the previous posts I posted.

I have to say though, I at least feel much better than yesterday and will never give up.

She's out there,. Just gotta keep lookin myself.

[Charisma]

When I feel like that, I spend more time with people instead. Cos I know I'd mope about it and be on a downer.

Usually talking to people means going on a chatroom. Ok, so I don't have friends in real life (yet) but I find it's a decent substitute, and it's quite conveinent to just log on the pc and have a bunch of people to speak to. A lot like here, it's like some advice column of a magazine with far more columns and without the price!

I also try to evaluate my efforts. Am I maximising my opportunities?, am I being friendly?, am I smiling and exhibiting positive body language?, am I flirting with people?, do I make an effort with my appearance, grooming and dressing?, do I love myself?, do I encourage people to love myself? -being humble and admitting flaws is fine, but ignoring compliments or denying praise is silly, as people are making an effort to make you feel good!

When that doesn't seem to work, I try to do some kind of hobby. Something to pass the time. It also means that in a conversation with someone, I can talk about the hobby, and the more hobbies or activities you do, the more interesting you will seem, and it's more likely that you with both have a common interest. I marvel at the guys who are so into their x boxes and can chat with their mates forever and join in with their games, but can't figure out why girls lose interest.(or at least, the girls without x boxes.), as they can't see how much having a common interest with someone-such as their mates liking x boxes too- can create a strong bond in a relationship.

[Ryan Heitzman]

Yeah I know Charisma. I just want it so bad sometimes I can't control my emotions and sometimes the way I think.

[irrelevant_89]

Well I'm kind of in the same boat as you Ryan... sometimes it's hard to cope with, for sure. But it's easier when you keep yourself busy, and I don't mean working - trying to work when you feel depressed usually leads to poor concentration and then you get depressed because work isn't going well... but going out with friends and trying to have some fun sure helps.

[Ryan Heitzman]

Hopefully I'll find my nitch to get over these feelings. I liked it when I just wanted to be independent.

[Lineofsight]

Being independent is the greatest thing because you don't have to worry about someone breaking your trust. It's a safe and controlling feeling.

The paradox about wanting a lover is that you can't focus on it, no matter how much you want it, you can't make your life about finding love.

I'm prone to do the same, spot everyone everywhere hoping the new girl of my dreams is waiting around the next corner.

But the only way to find someone is just to live your life. Do what you love and go where you want, she's already waiting for you on your road to happiness

[Ryan Heitzman]

Thanks for the encouragement, LineofSight. I agree that being independent is very fun. Shouldn't say this but I like women independent too.

I know it's off the subject. But do most women actually want kids? I don't know if I ever want to be a dad.