advise me please! she doesnt feel "right"

[session]

my girlfriend has anxiety, her first boyfriend treated her terribly, she NEVER wants a bf, but she wants me. she wants me a lot! but she has these little fits of not wanting anything to do with a relationship. she says its just not her. like its not part of her identity to have a boyfriend, and its getting worse. but when shes not feeling that way, which is obviously the majority of the time, were amazing. things are perfect! how can she get over this?
- deeper explanation below

i met this girl 6 months ago. i chased her around for a month trying get her into a relationship with me. she flirted back but nothing ever came of it.

several months later, were still hanging out pretty regularly. i kept myself just close enough to be friends, but not so close as to put myself into the friend zone -.- . one day the 2 of us and a few friends were hanging out and a boy she was interested in came up in conversation. she was very very iffy about him. i choked up obviously and played it off like i didnt care. shes VERY independent so this came as a surprise to me. she ended up sorta dating this kid.. so one night i gave up. i let myself just get close to her because id lost all hope for any kind of relationship with her. so of course the next night she finally responds to my 6 month old flirting. she held my hand, put her head on my chest, etc.

a month has gone by and shes dropped the other kid and we are now exclusive to each other. like i said before, she is very independent, she has anxiety but doesnt take meds for it. but it seems very mild to me anyway. the only time it bothers her is when there is a big conflict going on or if she has to do some kind of public speaking.

the problem here is that she has these little attacks where she hates being my girlfriend. she hates the whole thing. she hates that people know about it, she doesnt really want me expressing any affection to her, she hates the labels. other than that i have never had a more perfect relationship. we are both extremely kind, understanding, thoughtful.... its a dream come true. she cant seem to understand what it is that she feels, or where it comes from or how to stop it. she says that she just doesnt feel right. her first long term relationship was with a kid who really treated her bad and since then she hasnt been able to keep a boyfriend. im 22 and out of school, shes 19 and only in her 2nd year of college.
what can she do?! what can i do?!

[reeba]

There is nothing that you can do. I doubt if this has anything to do with independence or a bad past relationship (people like to use that excuse since it is out of their control). Chances are she just isn't that into you. If the 'right' guy comes along, she will change her attitdue real quick. Its just YOU aren't the 'right' guy. You can't make someone love you.

And if by off chance it is a bad past relationship....you aren't a professional councelor nor should you try to be, and you can't push forward the clock so she has time to heal.

My advice is, move on, and find someone else who does think you are the right person.

[session]

this is gunna sound really arrogant and ignorant but she is really into me. like i said, she doesnt like relationships. AT ALL. the fact that shes even gone out of her way to be with me in the first place is a pretty big deal for her. and she says that herself. she didnt even know i was flirting with her all that time. in her mind, she made the first move. she is into me. trust me.

[quall]

If she believes in it it could also not apply to the relationship of you two, then it's just in her mind.
Maybe she's gotta loosen up? Go with the flow?

[session]

when a girl has been "messed around?"

[Boisdevie]

Do you enjoy being a victim? If not then dump this woman and find somebody normal.

[session]

boisdevie, you say that like its easy to find a woman at all. finding one WITH problems is hard enough. never mind one without. this girl is the closest ive seen to having no problems for years!