help ! confused

[maryh]

hi i need help my boyfriend of 2years dumped me, we then got back together things were great but he has now dumped me again. while we were apart he saw other girls and couldnt live with guilt so dumped me.i told him i wanna put all this shit behind us and sort things out. he says he is still in love with me and misses me but thinks we need time on our own. even though he is still calling me. he said how can things ever be the same and he thinks i will hurt him. hes being stupid.i think we need time together not apart.he says he really loves me and doesnt want anyone else at all and has made stupid mistakes. he said if we have time apart when we see each other we will kno if we are meant to be! why is he throwing it all away this is our first ever problem. he doesnt kno what he wants. says he still gets goosbumps and is in love with me!! how can you throw away someone you love....help!

[Adonis]

You may want to give him some time. That is usually the best scenario because that way you will give him the time deal with his guilt. You may have forgiven him but he may not have, so give him time. You know he loves you so give him time to sort things out. Trust me I'm in the same situation with boyfriend-lover not sure where we are now. I'm not giving him space and I think I may lose him forever. Now I'm backing off. Not that our situation is exactly the same but, you'll see this strategy works. He is not trying to throw your love away it may seem that way but bare with him. Take it from another guy that didn't know what he wanted, and got pushed away by the one he loved, and loved him. Let me know if this helps at all and if you need help with anything else.

Hang in there... It'll all work out

[Cybog]

haha...after he dumps you twice you still want to get back with him. It's shit like this that prove to me how people still pro-create places like in Arkansas.

Let me guess. Either of you arent a day over 17?

Time for my trademark....

NEWSFLASH!

Neither of you have any concept of the word love. If you don't believe me, re-read your own thread, tell me how stupid this "relationship" sounds, and then get back to me.

If he "still gets goosebumps and is love with you", what kind of feeling does he get after he dumps you?

This relationship will never excel past the 2 of you unable to make up your minds. Until the both of you mature further, neither of you will be able to engage in any form of meaningful relationship.

(How do I know this? A) You are still with this guy which shows your inability to be alone, fear of rejection, pathetic sense of pleasure from the abuse, inexperience with a man who knows how to treat you right.... B) His lack of knowledge about how relationships work, insecurities, unfaithfulness....god the list goes on for the both of you....)


MOVE ON

Unless you can tell me for what frikkin reason you wish to keep up this pathetic excuse for a relationship, you need to get on with your life. You have already wasted 2 years of your life dealing with this clown.

[emokid18]

I almost did the samething to my girlfriend because I think we are spending a little too much time together. We spend everyday together and it has gotten a little boring because we have nothing to talk about and there is never anything to do so we end up just chillin at her house with her parents who are really strict and we can't act like oursleves when they are in the house, well I know I can't. Lately we have been fighting and having problems. I love this girl very much but these problems just seem to be getting worse. We both play a huge part of each others lives but we really need to start spending a little time apart from each other as much as I don't want to but I think it is best for the relationship. Now all I have to do is actually go through with this.

[Adonis]

Well every relationship is different and everyone's definition of love is different. There is no way that you or anyone else can tell Maryh what or how she should feel. You can't help who you love. You can't compare your relationship to hers, or mine to yours. There are generalities fine, but most of the time relationships are very unique and situations vary, because peoples reactions vary. I beleive that love is able to overcome anything if you really beleive in working things out Maryh, then you should. Don't be shamed by love or afraid, accept it go with it.

[Cybog]

There is no way that you or anyone else can tell Maryh what or how she should feel.

Listen junior, she is the one who came here asking for advice. If she cant handle scary answers, perhaps she shouldn't ask scary questions. The second you post on a relationship forum about your personal life, is the second you need to be ready to handle any form of response. Just because I dont pat her on the back telling her "Everything is gonna be ok!" doesnt mean I am wrong.

Tell you what. In a year or so when "everything has transpired as I have foreseen it," feel free to come back and tell me I was wrong. Because I am not.

You can't help who you love. You can't compare your relationship to hers, or mine to yours.

Lies. Weak, emotional dribble. Tell me - how many relationships have you been in that lasted over a year? How many women have you had sex with?

If relationships weren't able to be compared to each other, then why are psychologists among the highest paid and overworked doctors there are? From what or where do they draw their advice?

I beleive that love is able to overcome anything if you really beleive in working things out Maryh, then you should. Don't be shamed by love or afraid, accept it go with it.

More pathetic "love" mumbo jumbo. You need to stop thinking with your heart and start thinking with your head. Hell, 85% of the people that post on these boards do. Wake up and smell the evidence.

Once a person is truly in love, THEN and only THEN should they think with their heart.

This person's relationship isnt about love. Its about pathetic self loathing and regret. Its about a man who doesnt know what the **** he wants in life. Its about a sad girl who is wasting her life away over some chump that is treating her like dirt through his own inability to make up his mind.

If this is your idea of love, then you have a sad sad grasp on what true love really is.

[jakki2903]

I'm not sure I agree with you Cyborg - I think Adonis maybe right - I don't doubt what psychologists do - but they give advice and read emotions from one person to another - they do stereotype sometimes but even they can tell you that every one is different. We aren't all the same - it's the same in the sense that - it would take me a month to fall in love first time, a year second time etc etc - actually dunno what I am talking about but just think your wrong.

No one comes on here to be made to feel like sh5t - the truth hurts yeah - but not in the way you tell it - you tell it without compassion or how the receiver will take it - which isn't fair. Just chill with your advice - it's too harsh.

PS: have u been hurt, in love etc?

[Adonis]

I'm not sure I agree with you Cyborg

I agree with Jakki. It seems you are a very bitter person or have definetly had a lot of problems in relationships. Have you been hurt in love? Most likely you have, considering some of the answers you've given. People come here for advice not to be made to feel ashamed or belittled by your insensitive words or advice so think before you post People are different! Psychologists get paid loads of money to stereotype situations once the hour is up they give the same answers to the next guy. Also because I feel a certain way about love doesn't mean you should or vice-versa. I wasn't disputing your advice I just felt like helping out Maryh. It's there if she wants it. Take it or leave it. I don't feel the same about the situation and I shouldn't have to, I gave my advice, that is what this forum is for not to try and make someone else look bad. I'm just trying to help. Your version of the truth is very harsh and unhelpful.

[III Angie III]

(listen junior) bwhahahaaaa CYBOG.. You crack me up!! ::smiles::

[III Angie III]

Maryh: Tell the dude that he's no longer needed in your life. It sounds as if he's trying to string you along until he finds something better.
(("If I was in your shoes, I would tell him I'm *dewing* his best friend. ha ha"))

On a more serious note:
When he says "I loves you", he means "I care for you." That's obvious, given the fact that he no longer wants a relationship with you.
Take a moment to read Cybogs posts. He speaks volumes.

Regardless, I wish ya the best!