Is my wife cheating on me?

[JohnStevens]

My wife and I have been married 3 years. We have a 2-year old that goes to daycare everyday. We both work full time. My wife is obsessed with Facebook and I am afraid it is damaging our marriage. Also we used to alternate picking up our daughter at daycare and now she insists on going every day. She has developed a friendship with one of the other fathers and I am suspicious. They text each other and facebook each other often. My wife claims it is nothing and that I am overreacting. The other day I saw a text from the other father and I felt it was flirtacious. I confronted her on this and she went into denial and then deleted all previous texts between the two of them. She insists she has nothing to hide. Also she goes out with her girlfriends and often leaves me home with our daughter and she forgets to wear her wedding ring. Also she cuts me out of any Facebook photos and she recently changed her voicemail message to just her first name and not her first and last name. Other than these few things, I have no other proof or her cheating. My question is, "Is she cheating on me?"

Thanks,

John S.

[Take2]

It doesn't really matter if she is cheating. Something is wrong with the marriage if you are feeling insecure. And she is distancing herself from the marriage symbolically in several ways (cutting you out of pictures and taking off her ring and removing her last name from her message). Will she attend couples therapy with you? You guys need to talk, you need to connect, and you probably need some help to make it productive rather than both getting defensive and accomplishing nothing.

[Boisdevie]

Your relationship is in big danger - and probably already doomed.

[OkieDokie]

I'd have to agree with Boisdevie.

I'm going thru this same thing, just a few steps ahead of you. I didn't see the signs your seeing though, she told me about the flirting when it was to late, she didn't want to work on our marriage and once it progressed to a point I was done too. Story is in the thread how wrong am I a few posts down.

I hope its not to late though and you two can work it out.

[sweetkissesforu]

She is hiding something

[VincenzoG91]

She is cheating on you.

[LisalovesEthan]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I went through almost the exact same thing 3 years ago. The good news is that it will get better. The bad news is your wife is cheating on you. My ex-husband had an emotional affair through texting etc. When confronted, he denied and insisted he wanted to be with me forever. Looking back now, he was just afraid of splitting up the marriage, but the thrill of chasing someone new was in the end too much for him to control. I also wanted to believe him, but once the trust is broken, it is very hard to regain. Ask yourself this question. "Why would an innocent person delete the text messages?" The answer is that they wouldn't.. An innocent person would show you the messages if they were indeed innocent messages. Also, a woman who drops her last name from her voicemail and leaves the house without her wedding ring is one that has made up her mind that she is planning on leaving you, maybe not right away, but her actions shows her intentions. My advice is for you to pull the plug and move on. I now regret all the time I put into trying to make my first marriage work and all the trust I put towards him. I never gave up and stayed to the end and it hurt a lot when it was finally over. Lucky for me, I met my current husband and he is wonderful. 100% trust and love and I couldn't wish for anything more. It sounds like you deserve this and I believe you will find it.

Lisa

[ammi00]

I agree with Take2; even if she's not cheating on you, something's definitely wrong. It's up to you (both of you) how you'll deal with this situation - she either tells you the truth and: you decide to remain together (no matter what the truth is)/ split or she'll continue hiding something from you and: you'll leave her/ decide you can live like this. I think you should confront her about her behavior, but don't instantly accuse her of cheating you, instead ask her what's wrong (eventually, ask her if she'd like to go through therapy with you).
*thinks* my oh my... could it be... Farmville? :|

[IncognitoSir]

She is cheating on you.

To be blunt, there is NO reason she would do any of those things other wise. Damn, this is pissing me off. Time to roll up your sleeves and get ready for some dirt slinging man I'm sorry to say. She's trying to be a sneak within the marriage. Everything you mentioned are signs of a cheater. This is bad and I'm sorry she's about to put you thru hell!

[vertical_sky]

I'm with Take2; even if she isn't cheating, she is still acting very disrespectful. I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt when you were talking about chatting and texting-I have male friends I chat with frequently, sometimes every day, and there is absolutely NOTHING between us. And if the GUY sent her a flirty text, she shouldn't hide it from you, but she also can't control his actions (I'd be more worried about HER sending flirty texts.)

But taking off her ring, cutting you out of photos, changing her voice mail... None of these are a smoking gun, but what they do amount to is not being fair to you, and symbolically cutting you out. Calmly and firmly tell her you do not appreciate this behavior, and you want to try counseling. Good luck to you!

[Young&Classy]

Sadly she is cheating on you. They may have not slept together yet but there are two forms of cheating. Physical and emotional/concious. My girlfriend I lived with was the same with a guy who was a bar fly at the bar she worked at. Always texting him coming home from work late going out and not answering her phone. You need to have a seious sit down talk about where your marriage is going. Don't take any shit from her or anyone else. Confront the guy tell him to back off that he is causing a problem. If he doesn't make him. I had to learn the hard way and made stupid mistakes. DO YOU STILL WANT TO BE WITH HER AT THIS POINT????? Get sneaky find ways to prove she is cheating.DOCUMENT EVERYTHING GOING ON, the text, the facebook, going out and leaving her ring. the other guy You don't forget to wear your ring. If you document this is will help in court and with custody of your daughter. My ex took me to court over bogus things and the fact that I documented everything saved my ass.

I hate to give such dirty advice but there comes a point where you have to stop feeling sorry and take control and protect your self and your kid. Good luck and I hope that it works out.