Any Hope for an Ugly Chick?

[vertical_sky]

Hey guys!

I have a major problem attracting guys. I'm 25 years old, and while I've had a couple of boyfriends, I've always gotten them because of my personality and nerdy interests. None of my boyfriends have ever really complimented my looks-the best I get is the occasional "cute." My last ex even told me that his ex, his best friend, my friend, and an old crush of his were all hotter than me.

Even when I put on make-up and try to dress up, I never get hit on. If I try to flirt with drunk guys, they just assume I'm joking around, or they ask me to set them up with my hot friends.

I'm kind of at my wits' end with what to do. I want to actually find a guy who thinks I'm the hottest girl, who actually enjoys my looks and doesn't just put up with them because I charmed him with my personality.

However, as a girl, I always hear that guys are very "visual," and that they'd rather go after a hot chick with a decent personality. I think the only reason my exes dated me were because they were a little desperate.

So guys... as an ugly girl, am I doomed to always being in the friend zone, or constantly having to fight hotter girls for male attention? Is there any lasting hope for an ugly chick?

[girl68]

A guy who thinks you're the hottest only thinks will never always think that forever. So throw that idea right out the window.

Next- are you sure your make up and clothes are doing the right things for you. Makeup can make nearly anyone go from below average to above average easily. Can we see a pic of maybe how you look when you're all dolled up to go out? Maybe we can give you some gentle directions on improvment?

And your view on guys wanting the hot chicks with meh personalities- some dudes SURE, course- there will always be those guys. But there are plently MORE who don't want hot bitches but would rather have nice looks and great personality. So if we can get your look to be even a little nicer then you're in good standing, because you already sound pretty sweet.

[girl68]

(disclaimer) I'm not calling you but fuk ugly either

But I've seen plenty of guys with chicks so nasty... ew just ew. And their men freggin' LOVE them. So yeah, there's hope

[VincenzoG91]

Physical fitness helps a lot, too. Get a gym membership or take up running.

[vertical_sky]

@Vince

I do have a gym membership. I'm a black belt in a martial art and I do belly dancing, but swear to God, my body just refuses to change. It freakin likes the way it looks-I even tried going days eating only crackers and water, and I go FATTER. Even my personal trainer is mystified-he says I have the muscle strength, but I just never freaking look like it.

[vertical_sky]

I'd love to post a picture, but I need 15 posts first. Let's see if I can trick the forum.... Paste that into your address bar and add a .jpg. That's the most dolled up I usually get.

s9.photobucket.com/albums/a70/vertical_sky/?action=view&current=DSCF3769

[VincenzoG91]

vertical_sky, you remind me a lot of a woman that I know. She gets a lot of exercise and it doesn't show, but part of her problem is that she requires gluten-free food and has at least one other major food allergy, so she has trouble eating right. She has a good personality and hobbies that bring her into contact with a lot of nerdy guys, but nothing so far. She could try harder with the presentation though, wearing clothes and makeup that are more flattering. At this point, it's hard to even imagine, though, because she's such a tomboy in appearance.

[VincenzoG91]

That link doesn't work properly, it just takes me to the login screen for photobucket.

[vertical_sky]

@ Vince

That's why I'm feeling resigned... It just seems that this is the way I look, and this is the way I'm gonna stay. I try make-up and finding decent clothes, but I relate strongly to your friend-clothing shopping is not only boring to me, but it's expensive and I never look good in anything anyway.

Thus, I wonder if there's ever any hope for a chick who just ain't attractive.

[smackie9]

Get your thyroid checked. There's also a rare kidney disease that make you look heavy even though you exercise like crazy. Get a full check up with blood work and maybe seek out a nutritionist. Sometimes it's not what you eat but how and when you eat can make all the difference. Also you don't have to be model slim to attract men. It's how you carry yourself with confidence, and present yourself seductively. Take some flirtation classes to sharp your skills.

[VincenzoG91]

Actually, it works just fine if I type jpeg instead of ipeg at the end. Oops.

Okay, you have nice eyes, so maybe you could emphasize them a little with some eye shadow and/or mascara. I don't know much about makeup, but you probably want to err on the side of too little instead of too much. A touch of blush could give your cheeks more of a sculpted appearance. I like your hair color just fine, but maybe you could try some highlights to create some additional contrast. And consider growing your hair a bit longer, because the hair length in that picture is more appropriate for a middle-aged woman. Most guys prefer longer hair. And you seem to be almost hiding behind your bangs. By leaving them long, it shifts the focal point of your features from your eyes to your nose. You have a thin upper lip, which you could compensate for with a touch more lipstick.

[VincenzoG91]

As for clothes, learn your colors, the ones that look best on you. I like that purple, but I'm not sure that it's a good match for your skin color. Here's a wikipedia article on the basics:

[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Color_analysis#Summer]Color analysis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/url]

[vertical_sky]

@ Vince

I know you are trying to be helpful, and I apologize if I come off as argumentative, but really, I've tried everything. I've grown my hair out, I've tried no bangs, I've worn eyeliner, I wear every color imaginable... None of it works. No matter what I try, I'm off-looking. I guess the purpose of my original post was really, do I HAVE to be good looking to attract a guy?? Because I'm pretty darn certain I'm stuck the way I am.

[VincenzoG91]

Looks are not absolutely essential to attracting guys, but pretty close. However, I've noticed that otaku guys really value a woman who shares their interests, and I noticed a lot of anime stills in your photobucket pics. Maybe you could meet up with those kind of guys at conventions or even just online forums at first. They won't fall for you at first sight, but if they can talk to you easily about Avatar the Airbender or Miyazaki flicks, they will warm up to you.

[Gribble]

You actually look kinda cute. Bit plain. With a little work you'd be gorgeous.

Crackers aren't exactly the best food for dieting. It isn't a good idea to go nuts with a diet, either. Don't eat less, eat smart. Cut out the carbs, drink only water, consume waaay less meat. Get some fashion tips from your friends. Try some new makeup. Maybe do something new with your hair. You could be a total knock out.

Probably more than anything you've got crap self-esteem and that turns men off.