So.. Have i lost her forever now then ... ?

[IamTHATguy]

Ok, so posted a few days ago, i was seeing a girl for 3 months, we've both came out of a relationship beforehand. She came out of hers much longer ago than me, but when i discussed things with her, and asked if she'd ever want anything more from me, she explained to me that she isn't totally over her EX yet, so doesn't want anything more for the time being.

This was 4 days ago now, and after she told me she isn't over he EX, i said it's ok i understand that, and that i'm happ with how things are at the moment anyway, since then i haven't heard a word out of her.

Another thing worth saying is, she isn't a girl i'm just going to bump into, i guess if she never contacts me again it's a good guess as to whether i'll even ever see her again. Which for me i gutting as i really like her.

So, has me asking her that, made her think 'god, i better back off for good, this isn't what i want from him'

Or what else could she be feeling? cause at the moment that's the only possible way i see it.

[ammi00]

You were seeing her for 3 months, as in, you two were dating? Or you simply knew her for 3 months and you used to hang out?
She might have told you the truth (that she's still not over her ex), or she might have used this as an excuse for not being with you. Anyway, it's obvious that right now she doesn't want anything more from/ with you, and she distanced herself from you. I suggest you to do the same; to move on and not to spend any more time thinking and "chasing" someone who doesn't want this.

[smackie9]

Dude the answers are not going to get any better. You are lucky she is being honest with you. Most girls use the guy to help them get over their ex then it's "cya!"

[IamTHATguy]

Yeah i mean seeing her just as hanging out, but she has told me in the past she likes me and is into me, and that she really enjoys time spent with me, maybe im naive in making myself think we can have something.

It's horrible, this girl has always seemed to be the one for me, as we used to have something 3 years ago too, but this is more recent, and thought things could be better and different.

[nihao]

I know how you feel man because I've been in that situation. If she tells you that she wants to keep things the way that they are between the two of you, then that's probably what she means. I know it hurts when you want more than that, but all you can do is just go with it and move on. Don't get so upset about not talking for four days, that might be a good thing, because it sounds like she just needs some time to herself. You might could just send her a simple text sometime and ask her how she's doing, but keep it light. This doesn't necessarily mean that you two won't ever talk again, and don't look at it as 'losing' her, because that only makes it more sad to thing of it in those terms. Continue being her friend if you can do that, but don't push for anything else right now.

[IamTHATguy]

Yeah, i know you're right.
I'd give same advice to myself to be honest, but like you said, you've been in this situation and it's not as easy as ABC.

I'm just annoyed at the whole situation, myself for starters, i was broken when my EX finished with me, and would have preyed to have no woman in my life, but now months after, i'm in the exact situation with a girl who has had me feeling shit years ago! It's just like these feelings are in a box, and im trapped in that box, what i'd really love is just a life with no worries of girls, not having to think of her every 5 minutes. But that's the way it is.

I'm 21, and chances of having a girl to be with doesn't seem to come too often, hence why i see it as a 'loss'

[devonbrown]

Just a couple things to remember:

- It has only been 4 days. She might have just had a busy few days. Wait another week or so and then call her casually to see if she wants to hand out. You should have your answer then.

- You are 21 years old and there are lots of other people in your age group feeling the same way. It is only a matter of time before another chance comes along. Like you mentioned about when your ex ended things, you are back in another situation... If this doesn't work out, there will be another situation that will come along.

[IamTHATguy]

Giving this a thought today, i still don't understand the whole situation.

I told her i liked her a couple times about 1 and 2 months ago in person, which she responded in saying she liked me too, i only messaged her asking if she'd ever want anything more with me (it wasn't asing her to make an 'official relationship' with me, if ya like) and it has seeemed to make her totally back off. Surely she knew i liked her so knew i'd want something more eventually :S

[devonbrown]

Unfortunately you may never really understand the situation unless you have this conversation with her. And it seems she doesn't want to have the conversation with you. I'm sorry, but it might be time for you to concentrate on new possibilities.