We're done, but I want to be CERTAIN that he cheated on me.

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Hi, guys. For those of you that are willing to help, it's a pretty lengthy post. But if you do finish it and have advice for me, I truly appreciate it and thank you ahead of time!

First and foremost:
I will not be coming back to this guy. He did me dirty. Unless I have a child or am pregnant with someone's child, I will NEVER forgive cheating unless they confess the night after because of their guilty conscious because of some drunken accolades. I find that barely excusable, but there is hope in that situation.

Our Relationship:
Me and my Ex-Boyfriend were together for 1 year and some change. We're both sophomores in College. He was my first boyfriend, but I had sexual encounters before him and I did not loose my virginity to him. But I gained most of my sexual experience from him.
My ex-boyfriend had a girlfriend on-and-off for 4 years throughout high school. He lost his virginity to her.

We both officially began our relationship at the end of the first semester of College. So he was a few months out of being with his ex and he claimed he was over her. Sick of her, and she was sick of him, too. She had moved on began dating as soon as they were over. He did not. He was just living his life after coming out of severe depression.

I was having a rough emotional time because I was nearly raped and killed during a robbery in my house two weeks before the semester started and a friend had committed suicide a few months earlier, so I was a psychological mess.
We were both friendly and social people. I don't want to inflate my ego, but that I was "that girl" on campus. Social, "happy", pretty. He was the chubby guy everyone loved with swag, jokes and good conversation skills.

The Beginning:
Our relationship began as usual. Corting phase. And I basically had to be coerced into this relationship because I had never been in one.
I was in denial, but he was very protective of me and weary of other guys that were interested in me (because, quite frankly, there were many guys chasing me). He would often ask my why I hung out with my friends and that they're lame and just trying to get into my pants. He also told me a lot of my girlfriends were untrustworthy. He convinced me that I should stop talking to many people. I wasn't forced, but I voluntarily did this because I didn't see the point in having friends I couldn't bring my boyfriend around.

The Middle:
I become extremely insecure and my self-esteem plummets because my acne returns and I find I have no friends and no one to talk to other than my boyfriend. I latch onto my boyfriend just a bit more than usual. In the beginning, he claimed he actually liked that I contacted him more because it seemed like I "actually love him" when I was clingy. He also preferred me initiating the PDA. I continue this and be extra careful to please him because he seems happy.

The End:
He becomes distant. Stops wearing the $100 watch I bought for him. Says he needs space. Doesn't want sex. And when we have sex, I'm doing all the work. We only argue. Hates when I touch him in public (ie: sit on his lap, when he claimed he used to love it). Complains that we don't go out enough. Says that I'm not surprising and making plans. He doesn't have anything to talk about. Never talks about his feelings, only when he insults me.

He: Has no job. Only goes to school. Lives 30mins from school. (We go to a commuter school in NYC.) Is only in a frat that meets once a week. Barely works out. Only eats crap.
Me: I work part-time. Go to school full time. My daily commute is 4 hours to and from school. My parents don't know I'm with him so I have to hide that I'm with him. I'm a recording artist. Majoring and minoring. Workout daily. Eat right. Good hygiene.

The Breakup:
Our relationship has been on a downward slump for nearly 3.5 months now.
But the breaking point is when we have a terrible, terrible argument where we end up saying terrible, unforgivable insults to each other. We stop talking for a day. Start talking again. He distant, doesn't let me touch his phone unless he's hovering over me, gets mad when I tell him I'm somewhere that I'm normally not. He asks me about me being afraid that I might cheat on him because of the recording business that I brought up maybe 7 months ago. Only nags me.

Incident 1: I text him to ask where he is. He says he's on his way to school. I'm leaving school two hours after I text him bc class is over, I see him walking up the escalator to school well-dressed... obvious that he wasn't at school because he doesn't dress that well for school. I ask whether he was at school, he just says "neh, anyawys why would you leave school without saying hi to me! I'd never do that you!" He barely walks me to the subway like he usually does. Just outside to the front doors.

Incident 2: Me, my ex and my best friend go out to dinner.That night I come back to check my facebook and his facebook. He ex RANDOMLY OUT OF THE BLUE comments on his status referring to our night and an inside joke we all made. I asked him that night that her commenting was really random. He just laughed it off "yeah, I don't know. Really weird."

Incident 3: I needed to check his phone to check my e-mail. He lets me use it but then asks "WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING?" when I'm doing exactly what I said I would. He hovers over me and as soon as I'm done, he snatched it from me.

Incident 4: He's texting a lot more on his phone and whenever he does, he stands up to walk around and text so I can't see what 's typing.

Incident 5: Recently he randomly told me that his ex looks worse than she used to, I asked him how he knew, but he just said "I don't know". And during our terrible argument, he says I'm not much prettier than his ex when he used to say I was so much prettier than her. Also, he knows that she's in a relationship with someone at the moment.

Incident 6: Thanksgiving break I go out of the country to visit family. I barely message him, once every other day to just let him know I'm alright with succinct one sentence messages via facebook.
I call him once I'm back. And he tells me that he may have done something I'd be upset about:
He says he was hanging out around town where his ex's dorms are. He randomly calls her up and they hang out, alone, in her dorm room and watch a movie together.
I try not to think much of it. I just asked if anything happened, he's says no. Just that he wanted to be on good terms with her.

Breaking up:
We stop talking for a little bit because a day before I tell him I can't be in a relationship with him and that our relationship is a joke. And I'm sick and tired. This weekend he's going upstate to visit one of his best friends at his dorm to party. I call him a day and a half later two days before he leaves, here's the conversation:

Me:
Did you even think about about me or feel inclined to call me?
Him:
No.
Me:
You know, if you touch another girl or cheat on me at your friend's dorm, I'm NEVER getting back with you.
Him:
What do you meaan cheating? We're not together, remember?
Me:
Wait... what?
Him:
Sorry, but I can't do this anymore.
Me:
....
Him:
Maybe we can sometime soon. You know, get back together.
Me:
*At this point my voice is cracking* No, don't give me that hope. Or yourself that hope.
Him:
Can we at least acknowledge each other in the halls?.... Yes?
Me:
(I want to say no, but there's no point in arguing.) Sure.
Him:
Take care of yourself. Bye. *click

He left me like I was dirt off his shoulder.
We were in a legitimate relationship for a year.
I haven't called him or contacted him since. The morning we had class together, he didn't show up. But he did come into school after before he left for upstate. We saw eachother but said nothing.

Please tell me I'm not crazy for thinking he cheated on me.
I want to get tested for STDs as soon as possible.
I don't hate him, I just hate the way he made me feel like a rebound, a toy and used.

Sexually: I don't know what he could want from her. In all honesty... I'm amazing in bed. I'm always on top pleasing him. I can do everything he wants and dreams for me to do for him in bed. I would say more but that's kind of crossing a line I'm not comfortable with, but if I told you guys... you would probably think he's a dumbass for trying to get sexual pleasure from another girl. Think: tight, fountain, screaming/moaning, endurance, petite, tight frame and great hamstrings.

I've been wanting to leave this relationship for so long. And a month before, I asked to sit down with him and do it but he refused.

I'm happier and reconnecting with people I love, but it's only been less than a week and I'm seeking answers. Please. Thank you.

[smackie9]

Sometimes relationships just run out of steam and has nothing to do with cheating. With guys, just getting bored is enough to lose interest. He fell for the beautiful independent girl, but then you became clingy, needy and dependant. It wasn't such a good idea for him to hope that he could have you all to himself.....got to be careful what you wish for I say, because the results can be destructive and guess what, they were.

He loses interest so he turned his attention to other things and possibly other girls. He should have been honest with you and ended the relationship amicably, but instead he was a coward and just kept ignoring you hoping you got the hint that it's over.

My advice to you is never put up or give into a guy's insecurities. You are who you are and never lose that ever. A guy like that is not worth it. Now get up, dust yourself off, and start rebuilding the new and improved independent girll that you are.

[Boisdevie]

I'm sorry. Perhaps I'm being heartless but I don't have the time to read ALL of this. Can you please get the point in less than 5000 words? I'm sure you'll get more replies.

[Sonrisa]

I'm sorry. Perhaps I'm being heartless but I don't have the time to read ALL of this. Can you please get the point in less than 5000 words? I'm sure you'll get more replies.

I've read a couple of sentences. Basically she is ALL THAT (in her own opinion) and questioning why he would ever wanna do anyone else?

[Avg.]

I've read a couple of sentences. Basically she is ALL THAT (in her own opinion) and questioning why he would ever wanna do anyone else?

Am I All That... no. But was I out of his league? Now that I look back on it- yes. Leaps and bounds.

All the people I'm talking to are saying it was like Beauty and The Beast and he was one lucky ass mofo.

[Avg.]

Boisdevie:

Go to Breakup. You can read from there.

All the background info: he was overprotective. i stop talking to friends and guys bc it bothers him. I become lonely and clingy.

[Sonrisa]

^^^^Reason number one for wanting to fcuk another woman.

[Avg.]

Sometimes relationships just run out of steam and has nothing to do with cheating. With guys, just getting bored is enough to lose interest. He fell for the beautiful independent girl, but then you became clingy, needy and dependant. It wasn't such a good idea for him to hope that he could have you all to himself.....got to be careful what you wish for I say, because the results can be destructive and guess what, they were.

He loses interest so he turned his attention to other things and possibly other girls. He should have been honest with you and ended the relationship amicably, but instead he was a coward and just kept ignoring you hoping you got the hint that it's over.

My advice to you is never put up or give into a guy's insecurities. You are who you are and never lose that ever. A guy like that is not worth it. Now get up, dust yourself off, and start rebuilding the new and improved independent girll that you are.

That makes a lot of sense. Never really looked at the fact that him wanting me all to himself may have led to that occurring.

I'm still convinced he hooked up with her, though. He has feelings for her and I think he wanted to keep me around in case hooking up with her didn't work out. I'm extremely loyal, and he knew that.

And I'm trying my best to dust myself off. I don't know why I settled and let him keep me in this relationship when I so desperately wanted out. Lesson learned, I guess.

Thank you, Smackie, for reading all that. I may have come off like a bitch and extremely cocky. But hey, I take it as a sign that my confidence might actually be coming back after hating myself for months.

[Avg.]

^^^^Reason number one for wanting to fcuk another woman.

I don't doubt it. And quite frankly, I'm aware.

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Seriously, though. What are the chances of him getting better? WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF?

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Whatever. Success is the best revenge. Apparently she has horrible hygiene. Their fat asses can stay together.

[Sonrisa]

trolling is amusing.

[IncognitoSir]

trolling is amusing.

But it gets old........fast.

[Gratedwasabi]

If you wanted to be out of the relationship, what's the problem? Maybe he cheated on you, maybe he didn't.. doesn't matter now.

Honestly, you sound really cocky. You might just be saying that stuff because you're upset but as good as you think you are in bed, you're not for everybody. Sorry. Screaming gets annoying, woman on top isn't really the best position for a guy's pleasure, and it sounds like you're probably really skinny and that's a huge turnoff. Kinda sounds like you're one of these women that have watched too many pornos and don't get that really good sex is about intimacy, not how tight your body is. But hey, for some guys that might be fantastic; point is, stop being so full of yourself. If he was so fat and beastly, why were you ****ing him and so clingy to him? Hmm?

You seem to feel you're better off without him so cool, move on, forget about him. Keep in mind,

[Lovable]

Didn't read the whole thing way too long....

If you are so over this guy, who bother trying to figure out if he cheated on you? Just keep on going about your life that you say you are doing. IF you are all that you say you are, you won't have any problems snagging another guy, right?? LMAO