Question about attraction in a relationship

[joneagle_28]

Hi there and thank you for reading

I want to start off by saying that I'm deeply in love with my girlfriend. Out of every woman I have ever dated, she is favored the most and nears towards perfection. I have ran into a road block however. During our intimate part of the relationship, most of it has been great! We are very affectionate and loving. We can just stare at each other for hours literally! The problem I have is... well I have never orgasmed with her.

For the six months that we have been intimate with each other I have never orgasmed. I do not have a problem with my equipment because I can maintain an erection during the whole duration of our sexual session. What is starting to happen is I'm getting concerned about our sex life. To make things even more complicated, I learned today that she might be becoming very comfortable around me.

I am a very fit person. I play basketball and thinking about getting into modeling because of my physique and chiseled features. She on the other hand looks great now, but is starting to gain weight. When we first met she was a bit chunky, but it didn't bother me. Now since we have been together we constantly work out together and now she looks terrific. We look like a great couple! Her goal was to fit into her high school jeans by January 1rst! What I learned today is after that, she is going to stop working out. She doesn't mind if she gains those 25 odd pounds back or even more. She says that she's comfortable. I'm thinking if I will still be attracted to her, in addition to my little sexual problem.

What should I do? How can we enhance our sex life? And what should I do about my attraction problem towards her? I really do love her, but either you are attracted, or you're not. Am I correct with this understanding?

[xxazurexx]

but either you are attracted, or you're not. Am I correct with this understanding? ...

It's as 'black and white' as that for me.

[qwertz]

You have never orgasmed...during intercourse with her? or at all when she is involved?

That is quite a major thing..have you had other sexual partners?

[Boisdevie]

For a guy to have sex and not orgasm is a big deal - do you need to talk to your doctor?

[sweetkissesforu]

you need to relax you
you may have set the stage for this problem
now you think it will never happen again lord forbid not all woman orgasm all the time
and you are trying to find excuses for it not happening
if you love her you love fat skinny unconditionally

[qwertz]

you need to relax you
you may have set the stage for this problem
now you think it will never happen again lord forbid not all woman orgasm all the time
and you are trying to find excuses for it not happening
if you love her you love fat skinny unconditionally

There still has to be attraction there though.

[joneagle_28]

Well yes I have orgasmed with my prior ex's, but with all of them it took some time. It didn't take this long though. At the most it was a month. I also have to say sadly that attraction is a big part of it. The more weight she began to loose, the more satisfying the sex was! Also in the past when I was with women I found attractive, I had no problem. My thing is, I try not to be so superficial. It's not about the look always. She matches my personality perfectly!!! I never tire of her, ever! However my sex life is starting to really suffer. So to the women that believe fat, skinny, etc, what do I do. Sex doesn't lie does it?

[Gratedwasabi]

Pretty simple answer but it seems to be the case.

You're best suited to being friends, not for being romantic partners.

Attraction can be developed but if that didn't happen by the first time you had sex, it's not going to.

I'm in a similar boat in that I'm a guy that often fails to orgasm and I'm not really sure why.That said, as soon as you start to question whether attraction is there.. you've got your answer. Also, if she's comfortable gaining some pounds you don't really have a right to complain. If you have a problem with it, that's your problem alone and you need to figure out how you want to deal with it; ie breaking up or getting over it.

Also, on a slightly separate note, just because you can maintain an erection doesn't mean something's not wrong. If you've been having sex with her for SIX MONTHS and never once had an orgasm, there's some kind of issue. I'd recommend going to a doc and seeing what they say; it could be mental or it could be something physical.

[ecojeanne]

it is kinda strange that you have never orgasmed with her. can you cum when you masturbate?

sorry i just saw your above post. ignore my comment above.

my actual comment:
you are not suited sexually or

you could deprive each other of sex and then once a week or 2weeks or 3 weeks go for it and be like the horny animals you know you can be. make it almost a forbidden fruit

[joneagle_28]

You know I like that idea ecojeanne, I might have to do that. Usually because I feel deprived sexually I do masturbate, about twice a week, but I will stop doing that as well.

Grated Wasabi, you also imparted some great advice. It sucks because I don't want to loose her as a partner. I might have to get over the fact that she will gain weight and if I can't handle it, well I just can't handle it and move on. I too have the same problem with women that you do. I usually don't orgasm but one position always gets me. Unfortunately for that position the woman has to be "SKINNY!"

Thanks to everyone that read and took the time to respond. You guys/gals are great!