Why must some boys be so cute?

[vashti]

Not only did he use a pick-up line to get Lailak's number, but he contacted her right away. Which signals to the rest of the women that something's wrong and he should be avoided.

Which falls exactly in step with the advice given elsewhere. He should have waited two to three days before making contact. This is too funny.

Maybe he is trying out a new PUA system, seeing as how women are wise to the old system.

[Jman39]

Maybe he is trying out a new PUA system, seeing as how women are wise to the old system.

and if so, its clearly working....

or is lailaK one of the immature insecure girls?

[Gribble]

This falls in line with my whole argument about being fake. When I meet a girl that I like I want to call her right away and ask her out. I don't want to wait. And after I drop her off from our first date I want to call her the next day and breathlessly tell her what a fantastic time I had. I'm not lifeless. There are plenty of other women I could take out. I have friends I could hang out with. But after a really great date all that melts away. All I think about is her.

And if I dared admit that, if I dared call her, she'd be turned off. It's like something instinctive. Some batshit crazy strain of dating evolution. And by trying to discuss that weird animalistic ritual with women I trigger some other batshit crazy strain of evolution and they all gang up on me.

[vashti]

And if I dared admit that, if I dared call her, she'd be turned off. It's like something instinctive. Some batshit crazy strain of dating evolution.

I don't think this is true, provided the girl was equally interested.

[doppelgaenger]

I'm laughing so hard right now.

[LailaK]

We had a great date. He's a really interesting guy.

He DID try to get laid but after I told him I wasn't that kind of girl he just shrugged his shoulders and asked for a second date. I was very pleasantly surprised

BTW, I love the fact that he's texted me multiple times right after our date. It's a nice departure from what I usually deal with from guys.

[Mish]

So much for my dating hiatus :/

I still don't understand the reason for this self imposed exile. It sounded like a rushed decision when you made it. Maybe this is the sign that you are subconsciously waking up to that fact.


Oh and ignore the Applesauce stalker posse who's following you around. Their comments are not aimed at you, but a "boogie woman" they've made up in their heads. Some bitterness takes awhile to work through.

[xxazurexx]

devils advocate here:- so how do you know if a guy is really genuine??? i mean, how do you get to know them? Isnt that what a date is meant to be for? learning about the other person? Are you saying that you shouldnt ever date anyone after just meeting them? afterall, you cant possibly know if they are genuine or not after 1 night, be it a bar, or another social gathering.
Otherwise, you are making a preemptive judgement about them before you get to know them, no?

devils advocate here:- so how do you know if a guy is really genuine??? i mean, how do you get to know them? Isnt that what a date is meant to be for? learning about the other person? Are you saying that you shouldnt ever date anyone after just meeting them? afterall, you cant possibly know if they are genuine or not after 1 night, be it a bar, or another social gathering.
Otherwise, you are making a preemptive judgement about them before you get to know them, no?

It's not just about making a presumptive judgement that he may be after sex - it's the way he may have approached us, the things he said, that may lead us to think he may be just after sex.

As I have said in previous threads, I'm a woman and not a girl. I tend to know and when a guy is being genuine or he is not and because I've experienced both the genuine guy and the 'not so genuine' guy. I spot 'red flags' easily and I watch out for them constantly and in the early days'. I listen carefully to what a guy is saying - what he says about his past, his ex gfs, his views on life and relationships in general, etc, etc. You can learn a lot about a man, from what he says.

I'm not a stupid woman.

BTW, I've never actually been approached by some guy on the street who said 'Hey you are beautiful, can I have your number'....which is why I probably think it's creepy. But in the USA that could be the normal way to approach women and for me. Over here, most approaching is done in bars, clubs - that is when I was always approached anyway.

[xxazurexx]

We had a great date. He's a really interesting guy.

He DID try to get laid but after I told him I wasn't that kind of girl he just shrugged his shoulders and asked for a second date. I was very pleasantly surprised

BTW, I love the fact that he's texted me multiple times right after our date. It's a nice departure from what I usually deal with from guys.

Yes, I love it too when they express their keeness

[xxazurexx]

Not only did he use a pick-up line to get Lailak's number, but he contacted her right away. Which signals to the rest of the women that something's wrong and he should be avoided.

Which falls exactly in step with the advice given elsewhere. He should have waited two to three days before making contact. This is too funny.

Nothing to do with contacting her right away.

It was the line he used to pick her up that would've alerted a 'red flag' for me.

He wouldn't have got my number and simply because I'd have assumed 'creep' and if a guy tried to pick me up that way.

If this had been some guy in a club who approached me in what I view as a 'normal' way because it's what I'm used too, I'd have given my number and then looked forward to his call the very next day

[eonbar]

glad your date went well.
hope this doesn't take it off topic but i dont get how people get chatting jogging / at the gym etc. did he run up beside you or shout or were you just stood still?
for me personally when i go to the gym or go running there's no time to chat girls up. i can't chat whilst running / rowing as im usually pushing myself, and you definatly can't have a good chat while boshing weights imo, so how do you score? hang about near the water dispenser or what?

advise me

[lovesjoyajm]

Have to agree with the other ladies: if I am already interested, I won't be turned off by his show of interest. (If I'm NOT already interested, I might be turned off - but in that case, there's not too much a guy can do to get my interest anyway.) The worst thing is getting all excited about someone, and then have them wait a few days to contact me. That's when I start to think "he's not really into me" and start emotionally disentangling myself. In addition, it's counterproductive to wait too long because then the emotional high starts to wear off and you essentially have to start from scratch again.

[LailaK]

Hmmmmm. Update. I need to rant.

This dude was a total Creepy McCreepersons.

I don't understand why it's so hard for men to find a decent middle ground. They either play games and wait forever to text/call you or they act ridiculous and text you all day long. This guys was a needy/clingy f*ck.

We went on one date and he texted me right after (which I liked). Then he texted me the next day (which I also liked). He then proceeded to blow up my phone all day EVERYDAY including THANKSGIVING. This is behavior that would be ok for a boyfriend but not some dude I went on one date with :/ I didn't really mind the texting until the holiday when I was trying to spend time with my family (so I was ignoring him most of the day) and his texts got more and more needy. Eventually he tried calling me because I obviously was ignoring his texts to spend time with my family. It got to the point where I became uncomfortable about meeting him for another date so I called him and told him I had to get work done (which was sorta true). He said he understood but sure enough, the next day (the day we were suppose to go out) I get another text...

Him: "Did you do your work?"
Me: "No. I told you I was doing it today."
Him: "Are you sure you don't want to go get some food. You have to eat."
Me: "Thanks, but I really need to concentrate on work."
Him: "I could come over and help you."
Me: "No you can't."
Him: "I could bring you food. I won't bug you I promise."
Me: "I said no. I really need to get stuff done"

I felt like I was back to being a preschool teacher again.

Anyway, I eventually called him and told him we wouldn't be going on any more dates. He tried to guilt me into seeing him (Told me his sister was sick and he needed someone to talk to, could he come over? Told me I had made him really sad and all he needed to do was lay down next to me and cuddle for a while... real creepy SH*T) but that only made it easier and reaffirmed that I was doing the right thing. It also reaffirmed that if a guy is really hot and seems to be too good to be true, he is. He's probably a nutter. :/

I'm really worried about my ability to attract normal men. What is it about me that attracts either the crazies or the losers? I'd really like to know

I'm also really worried about my state of mind when it comes to dating. This experience pushed me over the edge. I've deleted my okCupid account. I've canceled all future dates with all males except for good friends. I went out for a friends birthday last night. We danced/partied/had a lot of fun and around 4:30 in the morning found ourselves in this 24 hour dive diner in the city. I was tired, drunk and I knew I looked like hell warmed over. We were getting ready to leave when this cute guy walks up to me and says "I really like your jacket. Pinks good on you. Shit, you're cute." My natural response was to glare at him. I scoffed at him, and glared at him. It was so rude. I don't want to be that girl, but I don't think I can stop it.

I think I'm starting to dislike men, or at least distrust the ones who seem interested in me.

/rant

[Boisdevie]

You have to kiss lots of frogs before you meet your price - although in your case you won't kiss them in the first place.
You dislike or distrust men who are interested in you? So you'll like men who don't care about you?

My GF expressed interest in me.
I expressed interest in her.
And we are together whilst you are still single.

[Sonrisa]

Hmmmmm. Update. I need to rant.

This dude was a total Creepy McCreepersons.

I don't understand why it's so hard for men to find a decent middle ground. They either play games and wait forever to text/call you or they act ridiculous and text you all day long. This guys was a needy/clingy f*ck.

We went on one date and he texted me right after (which I liked). Then he texted me the next day (which I also liked). He then proceeded to blow up my phone all day EVERYDAY including THANKSGIVING. This is behavior that would be ok for a boyfriend but not some dude I went on one date with :/ I didn't really mind the texting until the holiday when I was trying to spend time with my family (so I was ignoring him most of the day) and his texts got more and more needy. Eventually he tried calling me because I obviously was ignoring his texts to spend time with my family. It got to the point where I became uncomfortable about meeting him for another date so I called him and told him I had to get work done (which was sorta true). He said he understood but sure enough, the next day (the day we were suppose to go out) I get another text...

Him: "Did you do your work?"
Me: "No. I told you I was doing it today."
Him: "Are you sure you don't want to go get some food. You have to eat."
Me: "Thanks, but I really need to concentrate on work."
Him: "I could come over and help you."
Me: "No you can't."
Him: "I could bring you food. I won't bug you I promise."
Me: "I said no. I really need to get stuff done"

I felt like I was back to being a preschool teacher again.

Anyway, I eventually called him and told him we wouldn't be going on any more dates. He tried to guilt me into seeing him (Told me his sister was sick and he needed someone to talk to, could he come over? Told me I had made him really sad and all he needed to do was lay down next to me and cuddle for a while... real creepy SH*T) but that only made it easier and reaffirmed that I was doing the right thing. It also reaffirmed that if a guy is really hot and seems to be too good to be true, he is. He's probably a nutter. :/

I'm really worried about my ability to attract normal men. What is it about me that attracts either the crazies or the losers? I'd really like to know

I'm also really worried about my state of mind when it comes to dating. This experience pushed me over the edge. I've deleted my okCupid account. I've canceled all future dates with all males except for good friends. I went out for a friends birthday last night. We danced/partied/had a lot of fun and around 4:30 in the morning found ourselves in this 24 hour dive diner in the city. I was tired, drunk and I knew I looked like hell warmed over. We were getting ready to leave when this cute guy walks up to me and says "I really like your jacket. Pinks good on you. Shit, you're cute." My natural response was to glare at him. I scoffed at him, and glared at him. It was so rude. I don't want to be that girl, but I don't think I can stop it.

I think I'm starting to dislike men, or at least distrust the ones who seem interested in me.

/rant

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