Has porn changed my view of a normal sex life?

[MynameisJesus]

I am in my early/mid 20s and I have no experience with women. At home my dad has always tought me that kissing and other intimate acts are only meant for women that I really really love. As if it's normal to kiss with only 3 girls maximum in my entire life. When I was 16 I discovered pornography and started taping erotic shows on TV. My dad found out and he has always given me the idea that sex is dirty and that it was a disgrace that I was interested in what I saw on TV. We never had 1 serious sex discussion in my life, he only associated it with negativity.

I've never even been touched/ kissed and I used to think that something was wrong with me. For years I have neglected my sexual desires for women and used pornography as a tool to satisfy my sexual needs.

But the latest months it turns out that many women are attracted to me, and I realize that I am actually sexually appealing to a lot of women. Being in my 20s with zero experience and a history with pornography, I don't know how it's gonna be when I get intimate with a girl. If I keep meeting new girls at my current rate it can't take a long time anymore.

I expect sex to be a loving act, and not a race to have an orgasm as quickly as possible as it is visualised in porn movies.
On the other hand I wonder if most women find slow and loving sex the same as bad sex. I have no idea what sexual acts are a normal part of realistic sex lives and what kind of acts aren't.

For example,
I would like to know what you ladies really think about blowjobs.
Do you find it disgusting and therefore no part of a normal sexual relationship?
For the ones of you who do like blowjobs, do you think it's oke if your partner cums in your mouth or do you find that a scary idea?

In most porn videos, women are used as inferior sex tools with no brain and no value. Blowjob videos and especially gagging videos are extreme examples of that in my opinion. Therefore I wonder if they can be a part of a normal sex life

I was planning to post a few links here and find out what women think about it, but I don't think you'd appreciate that.

Looking forward to read your opinions

[thundersw]

Mate you sound like a pornstar! It's ok if you're now or about to initiate your sexual life you're on schedule, but watch your words I doubt any girl will like it if you ask them about a "blowjob". Probably you'll be slapped to death.
It's no negativity to sex, religions and some media taught you so. It's because your parents did some naughty things that you're here.
To me sex should be playful and intimate with someone that shares your love and not violent/acrobatic/or with weird things on your genitals, that's a BIG negative! So forget what you saw on movies.
You'll hook up with many during your life, some because they "think" they love you, some because they're horny and one of them will stand out because really loves you.
It can be slow and surelly she will pull you in at her own pace, just go along and you'll be fine. You know instinctively what to do. It's not about speed or orgasm, just enjoy the moment.
No worry, be happy mate.

[smackie9]

I'm female and I watch porn but it is only for entertainment purposes. What you see on there is performed sex for the male fantasy and not what real sex is about. Unfortunately your father has totally misguided you. Sex is not how the female sexually satisfy you. It's how you both work to satisfy each other. It's all about giving and receiving. Just sticking it in will not create an orgasm. Statistically, 90% of women do not reach orgasm with straight penis penetration. With blowjobs, you have to earn most females trust. Some swallow, most don't like it because it tastes and smells disgusting. It really depends on if they think you deserve it and they want to go out of their way to satisfy you in this manner. Now if you want a blow job, you will be expected to give GOOD oral in return. If you expect a woman to perform for you, you will have to perform for them. No one likes a selfish lover. And hun if you are, word does get out that you are. A true man's goal when it comes to sex is satisfying his partner first. It takes foreplay and good technique to bring a woman to orgasm. You better start doing your research on G-spot stimulation and oral. There are some examples on youtube (they use a pocket pussy). Or you can pick up a few books on amazon to get you started. If you do find yourself in bed with a lovely lady, communication is key. You ask them what THEY like and what feels good and what doesn't. If you are eager to please they will do it in return. Remember everyone is different when it comes to sexual stimulation. Some like their toes sucked on more than their breasts. If this turns you off then you are not sexually compatible. Move on.

[MynameisJesus]

I would never enjoy a blowjob if a girl doesn't like it. The idea that she doesn't like the smell of it and does it against her will makes me feel bad.
If my future girlfriend decides to do so, I would always make sure that I have freshed myself up so it's nicer for her.
My friends have told me that giving oral is a nightmare sometimes. But I'd do it if it turns her on.
I work out every day, partially for myself but also because I want to look good for my future partner so I think that's a good attitude.

Sex is about giving and taking indeed. And selfish partners are probably a turn off for most women but I wonder if that's the case for all of them. Because I know women with self centered partners and I can't imagine that they would give oral against their will. Maybe some women want a dominant lover?
If a man only wants to give, and therefore takes an inferior position, I don't think that turns a woman on either. From my current perspective I think women want a healthy balance

[smackie9]

If you focus on satisfying your partner she with obviously reciprocate. If she just lies there then she's not a good lover, move on.Communication! you need to ask questions like I mentioned, but also be vocal about what you like for sure. As for selfish partners, seriously if you are not their spectating the act you don't really know for sure. But if it is true they are insecure, have low self esteem, clueless about sex, immature or a gold digger. I'll go with low self esteem and immature. As for oral it's not a nightmare. If you pm me I'll tell you 3 simple steps on how to give good oral. It's easier than you think. As for a dominant lover, that is what you have to discover on your own. If you read any of my post I mentioned that everyone one is different on what turns them on and what doesn't. That's why communications is so important, don't be afraid to ask. Being with that person for the first time is always awkward at first. You have to get to know them sexually just like anyone else would. And most are nervous no matter how many partners they've had. In reality sex isn't a big deal. I recommend finding yourself a good teacher if you are that worried about it. As for making the blowjob experience better for her, drink plenty of mango juice for the day, and stay away from red meat and beer. What you ingest does dictate the taste and smell of your ejaculate. You can also offer her flavoured lube.

[smackie9]

Hey dude I tried to PM you but house rules say I have to make 15 post to be approved so my email is ( smackie 9@hot mail .com). peace

[MynameisJesus]

Hey dude I tried to PM you but house rules say I have to make 15 post to be approved so my email is ( smackie 9@hot mail .com). peace

I tried to email but my hotmail account is messed up and not responding. Can you reply 4 times with " bla, bla, bla and bla" so you have 15 posts?
Then u can PM back

peace

[girl68]

If you can say this believe it and realize why, then you're golden.

Porn is fake everything to do with porn is all fake.

All women are not the same. Each woman likes differnt things, each a different combination of sexual desiers, it takes time and experimentation with each individual woman to tap into her tastes just like she has to tap into yours as obviously each man enjoys different things.

Sex can be loving, it can also be a sheer act of animalistic desire. Don't class it as 1 or the other hopefully your sex life will include lots of both.

Since you're still a virgin take whatever sexual experience you're about to have slowly. You'll likely want to at least be somewhat emotionally involved with her and there's nothing wrong in that.

Yeah women like giving BJ's when it's an act of giving on our part more often that not if feels good to please a man with whom we have feelings for. Cheesy? Yeah, of course. I'm all about a long, sloppy, very messy BJ but if he doesn't love me when he's not getting one he won't be getting a BJ in the first place.

Note: in real life people got diseases rubber up!

[newcity2010]

Trust me! some girls love it rough&hard, where others enjoy "make love", each to their own, If you are too shy to ask for a blowjob why not go down on her first, imaging licking an icecream or something for a while then suggest her to return the favourte.

[girl68]

Please, please don't ASK for a BJ.

[Gribble]

Who the hell races to have an orgasm as quickly as possible? I stretch that shit out as long as I can.

Porn is like sex on crack. It doesn't quite go down that way. But there are few things sicker or more depraved than the sexual deviants who view sexuality with shame or disgust. YOU are the pervert, not the people who are out getting some. Lighten up. Go for love if that's what you want, but never feel bad about having sex. It's beautiful. It's your one true calling in life.

[MynameisJesus]

But there are few things sicker or more depraved than the sexual deviants who view sexuality with shame or disgust. YOU are the pervert, not the people who are out getting some. Lighten up. Go for love if that's what you want, but never feel bad about having sex. It's beautiful. It's your one true calling in life.

For me it's about connecting with someone at the deepest level emotionally and physically. You show your insecurities to someone in a moment of pure honesty and make yourself vulnerable by doing that.
I can only do it with someone I trust completely, and I don't meet people like that every week.
Therefore I find it awkward that so many people have multiple sex partners.
I think you are way out of line for calling me a pervert because I haven't had sex so far. It's not that I don't want to. It's not that I set my standards so high that I can't find a partner.

At this point I have strong feelings for a 19 year old who is/ has been intimate with dozens of guys. Apart from that I feel like we connect. But she connects a whole lot and that bothers me

If I give in to my sexual attraction to her and get dumped like a pair of shoes, I would feel terrible because I have shown my deepest self to someone that doesn't feel the same.
Do you blame me for not giving in?

[MynameisJesus]

Please, please don't ASK for a BJ.

I would never ever do that

[Gribble]

Waiting for the right time is fine. Feeling uncomfortable that first time is fine. Feeling shame, feeling dirty, feeling sex is wrong--that's every bit as perverse as some of that nasty porn you can find surfing the web. Puritans are sick, warped little buggers.

[girl68]

Here's the thing about past partners. You should learn now that this is how it will work. If you ask how many she slept with you will almost certainly not like her answer, so don't ask. If you *need* to know and you don't like her number you dump her THEN AND THERE. You will NOT get over it, you will NOT be okay you will FOREVER hate her for her past. So you either ask and dump her or you don't ask at all. Period.

I say this because time and time again males (and females alike) come on here whining about their gf's sexual history. We all say you should have never asked and if you did, now you dump her becasue obviously you can't let it go.