not sure if my ex is seeing someone already, what should i do

[>brando.]

as you know i have posted some threads on here before regarding my ex girlfriend who broke up with me 2 weeks ago.

i am doing no contact but broke it 2 times , as well i am working on myself and making positve changes, however i do want her back, the 2 times that we spoke after the breakup was because the first time i saw on her status somehting that sounded like she had found another guy already, so i asked about it and she sait it was a quote she liked, the seccond time it was because i thought she had deleted me so i wanted to ask if thats how she wanted things ,, but she didnt delete me ,,iwas on the wrong page , lol,

and now after finally getting some kind of contact from her, she commented on a pic which i felt good about, i later on saw that her status says, " i believe fate has brought us together" witha heart after it, its only been about 3 weeks , not even since we broke up and we had a close and loving relationship i feel like she has someone else already , but i also think that because i called her last time she posted something like that and i called asking about it , she knows i look at her page and maybe put it on there just to get to me or to get me to call her, i duno, i admit i am obsessing a bit but i want to know if i should call and ask if she found another guy, if i knew i would give up now and forget about wanting her back .

i dunno, im just upset right now nd dont wana do something dumb with out some advice, please help

thanks.

[RockNRoll]

I had a quick look at your previous posts, but could hardly read them, I feel so sorry for you bleeding heart
You are doing pretty good by going to gym and working on yourself. Keep your life going on. And don't expect that she will know or react to any news in your life. Do it all for yourself. You learned a lot already, I would suggest to move your focus on topics how to move on, rather than how to get her back.
There is so much pain for you because now she is supposed to be just another person you used to know, but it so much doesn't feel that way. If she is your ex, her facebook status, dating life and whatever else shouldn't matter you at all. It might be damn difficult to admit it, but you should get used to this.
It is natural that you want her back. She is very straight forward, even if it's not easy for her, so just help her by keeping no contact. Not sure if it's a good advice, but if you do call her again, be as calm as you can and tell her that you want her back and what have you done about the reason of your break up. Do it not as if you are begging to get back together, but because you need to let her know and get this thought out of you. Say it and don't expect anything, try not to think about it again, because she already made her decision. Or you can accept that she found someone else, if it will help you to move on. But please stay away from Facebook and any other reminders and updates on her life.

[>brando.]

it is hard, espically because the relationship was soo genuine and caring , we loved eachother a lot and the last time i saw her she sad i love you, its hard to understand y she gave up on me because she used to say she has no idea why i dont have a gf before we met and how lucky she felt to have me , then the fighting started and i became irritable and sensitive and even emotional during arguements, she got tired of it and called and said i think you kow what needs to be done, at first i said no no, dont do this, lets just take a break, but she was prepared for that and nothing i said was going to chane her mind, .. its hard to stay off facebook because theres a part of me that really wants to hold on , im scared hat if i let go ill loose her forever. its been 11 days sincewe last spoke which is a while compared to us taking 10 times a day before. im also cofused as to y she has not even texted once to say hi. it would just feel so nice if she did that instead of feeling like she broke up with me and also dosent care about me either. its been 3 weeks already and i feel like its just settling in now that shes gone and how much i miss her , i would like to tell her i am working on myself and that i want her back but i feel if i did that i would loose her forever. i think that waiting a lil while longer and asking for an outing and seeing where that leads would be better than telling her i want her back on the phone, actually saying i want her back prolly is not good at all, the point is to move on and for her to WANT me back .. i jus wish we could chat in the meantime , this is brital and i wonder if she feels the same kinda pain at all

[twinrexes]

If you're not hearing from her, and you get the feeling she's met someone else, your instincts are probably right. And if she HAS met someone else within two weeks of breaking up then it's one of two things. Either it's a rebound relationship because she can't stand being alone, or she was already lining this guy up before she broke up with you. A lot of people who are afraid of being alone will start looking for their next partner before they even announce to the one they're with that it's over. If it makes you feel any better, 90% of rebound relationships don't work out. They're based on nothing more than fear of loneliness.

Now that we have that out of the way, couples who can't find a healthy way to settle their differences are bound to fail. So if you DID get back together something would have to change. You'd have to figure out what made you fight. After the honeymoon phase, most couples get into a power struggle of sorts in which they try to establish who's in control, work through conflict, etc. Some people will even pick fights as a way to get out of the relationship because they can't handle closeness. If that's her, and she's with someone new, she'll do the same thing with this guy.

If you don't figure out what ruined this relationship, you'll have to figure it out with the next person. Or go back and work it out with her. Either way, you're bound to keep repeating your patterns until you recognize them and address what needs to change.

[>brando.]

i have a gut feeling she is seeing someone, otherwise she would call me once in a while, i texted her , first time since we broke up and no responce yet , the only reason i can think of as to y she would not respond is if she is with a guy, im probably just paranoid but if i am right i dont know if i should tell her now how i feel and i wan to try things again , i ak this because im scared if i dont and she is seeing someone that she will fall for him and it will be as if i didnt exist , should i act like i dont care by not calling her at all and give up on wanting her back in my life ? . would it be wise or stupid to ask her if she is seeing someone ?

[MerryH]

should i act like i dont care

No, don't act that way. Be that way.

[Nimrod44]

It's only been a few weeks since you broke up. Given the way you are feeling it will take a longer time for you to work out the issues surrounding the breakup and to become a confident person. I wouldn't suggest seeing her in the near future. That would only hurt you more if she really doesn't want to get back together. You can't be friends now when you desire something more.