is ok to hang out with your EXs

[s13]

is it acceptable to most for the person you are in a relationship with to hang out with there EXs ? such as go out to eat, or have drinks at ones house, etc..?

[madotnw_nihs]

To me it really depends on on what grounds the ex's are with me. For example I dated someone from my home country overseas. If I go back there, I do usually pay her a visit. If your current partner is ok with it and you know you and your ex is on strictly friendship basis, I don't I see a problem with it.

[s13]

thanks for the response. but what if its a couple times a week. not in another country?

[madotnw_nihs]

Are the hanging out only between the ex's and no other people. I could see it not leading into anything, but I wouldn't do it. For the feelings my current gf, I don't think it's worth it or necessary. Just for catching up with old times, once in a while is ok.

[Boisdevie]

thanks for the response. but what if its a couple times a week. not in another country?

No way. An ex is an ex. OK, if there are kids involved then you have to keep in touch. I was with my ex for 8 years. Since I finished the relationship I have seen her once in 8 months. An ex is history so why bother keeping in touch - desperately hoping it might work out again?

[Take2]

I have young kids, so I have to see my ex all the time. And we have a cordial relationship and are working to remain friends. Still, there are some guidelines:

1. All events or plans that are centered around the kids and where the kids will be present are fine. I won't date someone who has an issue with me meeting up for donuts on Saturday morning or riding all together to a dance recital. That's closer than most ex's are, but not threatening in any way to my current mate.

2. Spending time together as part of a mutual group fo friends is OK. But really, the new mates should eventually be welcome in those gatherings as well.

3. Alone 1:1 time with my ex may be required sometimes to discuss details of our co-parenting responsibilities. That's the only reason I would have intentional alone time with my ex, and I would let my current mate know what and when and where beforehand and do everything I can to reassure him.

4. I think that if you are in a committed relationship with someone else, it is disrespectful to plan alone time with an ex. If neither of you are in a relationship, then I don't see the harm if you want to hang out all the time.

[Kaius]

Take2 hit it right on the head. If you have kids together, you have to communicate, but not hang out for fun.
Alone time is NEVER appropriate unless you are talking business (kids, money, etc).
So basically you shouldn't "hang out" with an EX, especially if you are dating someone else.

[Cyberpunk85]

If I liked any of my Ex's, I would hang out with them. But then again, they became Ex's for a reason.

[xxazurexx]

If I was in a relationship, then no I wouldn't hang out with my exes and out of respect for my partner. And I'd expect that he respected me in the same way.

I hang out with no other man and when in a relationship

[qwertz]

My bf sees his ex occasionally- but only because she is part of his group of friends. At first I had a problem with it- though i didnt really say as such to him as he isnt doing anything wrong. Im ok with it now...though she is a bit 'touchy feely' but she is like that with most men.

I would have a problem if he spent any alone time with her though.

[IamTHATguy]

It's up to the person concerned.

If i was even just seeing a girl started meeting or making arrangements with her EX again she'd have some serious explaining to do.
But then i'm quite a jealous paranoid guy...

[RdHrshyKss]

my opinion is that more often than not, most ex's meet because there are unsettled feelings involved. however, if they were friends for a long time before they started dating and are a part of a mutual group of friends, hanging out in a group is acceptable to me. however, alone time would just be wrong.

and if kids are involved, well you really don't have a choice, continued communication and cordiality is important for the kids well-being.