Why do I press the SELF DESTRUCT button?

[DDD]

This is my first post here and I'm glad I found the website. I'm currently in a relationship with a wonderful girl overseas. I met her 11 years ago while in her country and we kept in contact for a while. Then we lost track of each other and in the past few years are reunited again. I live in the US and have 3 kids from a previous marriage. She has accepted that and feels that we are destined for each other. We do have so much in common and I've never had feelings for anyone like this before. We both are committed to each other and are dating long distance until I can go and bring her home. We are waiting for the courts on an civil matter of mine and her Visa with immigration. The woman is perfect!!!!!!!! I love her with all my heart..........

So.........

Why do I press the self destruct button??? Why am I so scared of getting hurt that I begin to push people away before it happens. She makes me feel wonderful about myself and she respects me. (SIDE NOTE TO WOMEN: If you want a man to know you love him, then respect him... that is our love language) She doesn't give me any reason to not trust her at all. She has me all over her facebook. We write each other and talk constantly. Why is it that I allow my immagination rund wild. She has many friends (some guys) and sometimes she is with them. Sometimes I let my mind and heart get jealous because we are 6000 miles away and I start to push her away.... I don't even know why I do this???

Any thoughts or advise would help. Distance and not being with each other can be a Mother F!

[DDD]

Someone's feedback on this woult greatly be appreciated. :-(

[msingell]

you gotta appreciate the respect/attention she is giving you. if she makes the time, is honest and is legit, you just gotta work on staying positive about the relationship until you two can be together. my mind too runs wild sometimes, but a lot of my intuitions were correct in my last defunct relationship ( ie. calling less, not wanting to talk about serious stuff ). so unless she is not making an effort to talk to you about the future or has distanced herself emotionally, id say just chill out. be fortunate you have someone that far away that cares that much about you! my ex is 20 miles away and at the end it was like pulling teeth just to get a conversation outta her. wish you 2 the best!

[xxazurexx]

You need to learn to trust and until given a good cause not to trust.

You will end up pushing her away and if you continue with this destructive behaviour.

It aint nice not to be trusted and it hurts to not be trusted.

[DDD]

You both are correct about this.... a lot of this tied into my other post which I got much clarification on this evening. I realize that I just let the distance get the best of me and she was so genuine about my feelings that I feel like an idiot. Lesson learned here.... She once thought I wouldn't answer the phone unless I was alone and I took her concerns to heart and we both cleared the misunderstanding. I thank God every day for this woman because she is everything to me. Long distance is tough but when we are both tested we always end up stronger for each other.

[xxazurexx]

Long distance is tough but when we are both tested we always end up stronger for each other.

That was the case in my situation also. Despite whatever crap came our way, we managed to work it out, get through it and we stuck together. That told me that what we had was something special, an unbreakable bond.

We came through it all despite everything and 3 years later we are closer than ever. Distance still seperates us however and people say distance is the killer... but it hasn't been enough to seperate us.

I reckon he's my soul mate. We were and are meant to be together.