Safe oral sex?

[vashti]

I can understand you wanting to be safe, but if he actually went and got a blood test for std's would that change your mind at least for oral sex? Because this is what I would do if my gf was so worried.

They don't routinely test for ALL STDs when you go for testing. In fact, the most common ones (herpes and HPV) aren't normally tested for in the absence of symptoms.

[subaru88]

Maybe, but we are long distance and he doesn't have health insurance so I can't see him doing that while he's visiting.

The thing is I know he isn't with any other girls. I am not suspicious of that. I'm more worried that he's going to think I think he's done something wrong, because I think it's a logical concern.

For me, it's more I want to establish this habit from the beginning so that every time we have oral sex we use a condom. That way if something *does* change down the line he doesn't think I'm suspicious of him. People lie. I don't think he's lying now but I think he's capable of lying later, just like every one else on this planet is. And that's not really a risk I want to take. If something happens later, he will have the conflict of either lying to me and possibly giving me an STD or asking to use a condom and me suspecting he has cheated or something. If he's going to lie to me I'd rather not get an STD on top of that.

Not gonna lie its kinda hard for me to see your side. I can understand if you think oral is gross or you just wanna make sure that he doesn't have an std before having sex but in my opinion your already thinking hes going to cheat at some point thinking like this. Idk maybe im just a little to innocent and trusting lol

[Ariadne]

Not gonna lie its kinda hard for me to see your side. I can understand if you think oral is gross or you just wanna make sure that he doesn't have an std before having sex but in my opinion your already thinking hes going to cheat at some point thinking like this. Idk maybe im just a little to innocent and trusting lol

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being safe. She's right; he could cheat in the future. It may not be romantic to think about it, but better to be unromantic than to have an incurable disease.

[quietandshy]

Not gonna lie its kinda hard for me to see your side. I can understand if you think oral is gross or you just wanna make sure that he doesn't have an std before having sex but in my opinion your already thinking hes going to cheat at some point thinking like this. Idk maybe im just a little to innocent and trusting lol

I understand, and that's fine. I don't think he's done anything wrong now or plans to do anything wrong....but then again I don't think most people plan on cheating and wrecking their relationship. That's where my caution comes in.

[subaru88]

I understand, and that's fine. I don't think he's done anything wrong now or plans to do anything wrong....but then again I don't think most people plan on cheating and wrecking their relationship. That's where my caution comes in.

Guess your right. Hopefully no one plans to cheat!!

They don't routinely test for ALL STDs when you go for testing. In fact, the most common ones (herpes and HPV) aren't normally tested for in the absence of symptoms.

So they still don't test for herpes and HPV even when you go into the doctor and specifically ask to be tested for STDs?

[vashti]

So they still don't test for herpes and HPV even when you go into the doctor and specifically ask to be tested for STDs?

Not unless you have symptoms or specifically ASK for these tests. So much of the population has them, it isn't worth the expense, and men in particular are often asymptomatic, especially with HPV. But they can still transmit.