How am I supposed to act on a date?

[Lake]

I have had 5 so far and none of them led to a girlfriend. Usually I act nice and pay for everything, hold open doors.ect but I never seem to know when to go in for a kiss and usually get bumped down into the friend zone. I know you are allowed to flirt in a date but I haven't a clue when you're supposed to try for a kiss. Can anyone give me a general run down of date timing and general rules to follow. (I'd ask my dad but we don't really talk much and he's a jerk.) I really don't have any close friends who are guys who are immensely successful with women either. I'm basically trying to find a girlfriend for a long term relationship but I think I keep moving too slow .

[Boisdevie]

There are no rules with the dating game. I'm 46 and still don't understand how it all works!

[xxazurexx]

I've never heard of any rules either. All you can do, is be yourself. Perhaps the right one for you just hasn't come along yet.

[Ariadne]

No specific rules, but you should notice a pattern of behavior if you're doing something right/wrong. If she's into you and she wants to take it a step further, she'll probably giggle a lot, play with her hair, or find reasons to touch your arm or your hand. If she's not then she might have her arms crossed or she might lean away from you while you're talking. These aren't sure-fire signs of anything, just some common body language cues to take into consideration.

More than likely, at the end of the night, if you feel like you had a good time then she did too. If this is the case, try for a goodnight kiss. You might wanna lead into it with a hug so you can try to gauge whether or not she's comfortable being close to you--even if she did have a good time, some girls aren't comfortable with proximity to someone they just met.

Basically just trust you instincts. You've got the internal hard wiring to tell whether or not a girl has potential and if she sees potential in you, but you're doubting yourself and making it seem more complicated than it is. Good luck! ^_^

[girl68]

A good portion of people are uncomfortable kissing on a first date so maybe you should focus on affection in general thatnfrom 0 to kiss in one night.

[justcheckin]

just saying you dont "need" physical contract" on a date in order for her to be "feeling" you. When my GF and were just going out on dates (before we were "going out") we had pretty much 0 physical contact. If fact, I went on about 3 dates with her before our first hug lol. She is a very shy girl however, and I wasn't trying to push her boundaries. However, once it was clear she "liked" me, I started moving in for some physical contact.

OP, your best bet it to learn how to read body language. It will seriously tell you what she is REALLY thinking. There is no "green light" for a kiss really, you just gotta do it. It will feel awkward until it actually happens. Just make sure you know she would "more then likley" like it before you try haha.

[Lake]

I'm actually Aspergers Syndrome and body language is hard (getting easier the more I practice) but still I will miss lots of cues . I guess I should try to be more brave lol but at the same time I'm worried I'll totally misread a cue and think the girl likes me when in fact I'm pissing her off and go in for the kiss and get slapped or something.... I guess there are worse things then getting slapped lol but if I want to kiss someone chances are that I really like them if I didn't care it would be easier :S.

[RdHrshyKss]

where are you meeting these women? do the women you are dating have aspergers as well? it sounds to me like you are extremely high functioning so don't be so hard on yourself. learning body language and cues is hard for everyone!