He mentions private stuff in front of others - why?

[ssh]

I've been seeing a guy for 11 months now, it started out with dating but then he said he didn't want anything serious so we just started having casual sex, which I'm fine with.

Anyways, I've always assumed that he didn't want his friends to know about us seeing each other, cause I'm guessing he wants his options open for other girls.

But lately I've been hanging out a lot with him and his friends cause I've become friends with them as well. And every time we've been together he has said stuff implying that we've been intimate in front of his as well as my friends.

Examples given;

He tries to spray whipped cream in my mouth, I say: "Don't put anything in my mouth" to which he loudly replies "been there, done that!". He also said some things regarding when I've given him oral sex and hand jobs. And we were joking about him playing with dildos, I said "then we know what you do every saturday night" and he says in front of everyone "well, you've slept over quite the few saturdays at my place so...".

Etc etc.

This doesn't bother me, but I'm just curious to know in general, why do guys do this? I would never say anything like that, especially since we're not in a relationship, in front of others.

[BreakingPoint]

I'm guessing he thinks it's cool.? Kind of..... in front of his mates, that he gets laid.

Personally, I think it's rude. I wouldn't take it if I were you, it's like he's parading you 'round as his sex piece.

[vashti]

Why would you NOT mind that boorish behavior? He doesn't like you well enough to make you an official girlfriend, but he doesn't have any problems ensuring no one else in your social circuit asks you out. What a jackass.

[all alone]

Different people have different views on this..

either A) hes a jackass like Vashti says and hes just showing off to his buds

or

B) he just considers it okay and doesnt know it bothers you.

I'm leaning towards A tho.

[misombra]

I wouldn't like it if I WERE in a relationship and the guy said stuff like that. That's dump material imo.

[misombra]

He doesn't respect you.

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Eh, the guy thinks its ok... cuz, ur prolly laughing with him and his friends bout it. Sometimes some guys just dont really think that were doing anything wrong. U know?

[Agape]

Guys talk . . .girls talk . . . he's just trying to get social and sex points which he can show off in front of his friends.

Also, you know "he said he didn't want anything serious", so understand this, it's just casual sex.

[hellcat84]

I've been in this situation before on the guy side, and it does make a guy feel good about himself when people around him know he's getting sex. that he's a stud whatever but it really depends. Wicked thoughts has got a point, he might not really think he's doing anything wrong if everybody's laughing including you and no harms done then whatever you know, I mean in most situations like this your friends already got an idea of whats going on. On the other hand Vashti has a point too and a good one, I mean the official girlfriend part is really your deal if your ok with casual sex then who cares if he wants to make you his official girlfriend but If I met you in a bar and heard a guy talking about you like that Id assume he was your BF and even if I liked you I likely wouldn't act on it so it likely is holding you back from finding a boyfreind. I've been in this situation a few times and my rule is don't bring anything out into the open unless she put's it out their first.

-for example the one morning me and this girl I was having casual sex with went for breakfast with friends. she had a bit of a black eye and of course everyone asked where she had got it. she looked at me and then answered the other girls "If you ever go home with a guy that has ticklish testicles I wouldn't advise waking him up by licking them, he'll knee you in the head" everybody burst out laughing. We don't sleep together anymore but it's a funny story and she still brings it up sometimes or gets me to tell the story. Your friends likely already know your having sex and talking about it/joking whatever is fine but you should each show consideration for the other, If you don't feel he's being considerate you should tell him to stop or he'll end up having casual sex alone.

[ssh]

But if he wants his friends to know, why doesn't he just tell them between just them? Why do I have to be aware that his friends know? I usually don't laugh at him, but I don't take it too serious either.

But do you really think that it has something to do with him not wanting me to get close to any of his friends? Cause I've befriended two of his closest guy pals and I've hung around them A LOT lately, every weekend, with or without him. Let's call the guy A, and his friend M & N. When A was with M one night, he called me and started asking about N and his ex, and he asked if I had slept with him, which he seem to think I have. And he knows I've been talking A LOT with M as well.

[IncognitoSir]

He doesn't respect you.

That it is, misombra got it. He makes the comment then laughs at it right, like it a joke......like he "burned" you. He doesn't respect you as much as you think. Pretty odd that this doesnt bother you too.

[ssh]

Hm, could be!

My friend had a theory that he (A, the guy I have sex with) is jealous of his friend, M, since I'm always talking to him and calling him instead of A, making plans with him and talking about stuff that A doesn´t know everything about, but he is obviously curious about the things me and M are up to.

So he is like "marking his territory" in front of his friend to let him know that he won't be getting any. At least that's what my friend thinks, I sort of asked M about it as well and he just said that "that's just the way he is." AND YES, I know he doesn't want a relationship, this is not a problem and it has nothing to do with the situation.

[vashti]

Are you "territory to be marked"? I hope not! I mean, isn't that kind of like a dog peeing on his fire hydrant?

How degrading.

[Totalrebuild]

IMO , it sounds as though he is acting up in front of his friends. This is disrespectful to you. Are you sure you want to be with someone who is disrespectful toward you ?

[sweetkissesforu]

Sounds like he is a little on the immature side be glad he is not ure bf