How do I do it?

[kake224]

Wow, this is very similar to my situation. I understand completely where you're at but think back to what you current gf was like when you guys first started dating. She was amazing, thoughtful and sweet right? That's why you fell for her. I know I keep finding myself doing sweet things for the guy I work with too. Like texting him on his bday and leaving him homemade muffins. It's crazy that's what love does to us. But yet I find myself not wanting to do those sweet things for my husband. I will tell myself that tonight I'm going to surprise him with ..XYZ. And then he comes home and either says something that pisses me off or gets on the computer and disapears. And then I don't want to do anything nice for him. You know? It's so hard to maintain existing relationship. Fresh ones are easy and fun. Sigh! I feel ya believe me I do.

[RdHrshyKss]

you need to choose...whose feelings are more important to you? your gf of 4 years? or your coworker of 7 months? honestly, it's never smart to get involved with a coworker, so if you choose to seriously put an effort into your current relationship, then you and your coworker are going to have to deal with the consequences. if you choose to go with the coworker, your girlfriend is going to be heartbroken and you are going to have to deal with that. it's a rough choice either way...but my opinion is that your current relationship is not working, probably won't ever work and you should end it sooner rather than later.

as for the girl at work, sounds like you know what you need to do there. you know that if you break up with your gf, that you shouldn't jump into anything with the coworker because doing so will prevent you from being able to establish anything healthy.

i know it's hard, everyone who has experience with this type of thing, or just plain common sense, can understand it's rough. but you have to deal with it. it's a part of growing up and maturing, figuring out what works and what doesn't work for you.

oh, and happy birthday by the way. you and i are almost the same age, i'm 25, turn 26 in may...so we're pretty much in a very similar situation. my bf and i have had the discussions and have both agreed to end it amiably. i think it's time you start doing the same with your gf, so that the inevitable breakup is easier on both of you. good luck.