Is he not into me enough or am I just needy?

[Evalyn]

Alright this is going to be a novel....

My boyfriend and I haven't been together for long. He says the cutest stuff to me and definitely appears to like me. BUT he's also jokingly mean to me and I pretend it doesn't hurt but sometimes it makes me want to cry. He tells me to not get angry at him if he doesn't pay enough attention to me (a thought that wouldn't even cross my mind regularly). And so now I feel like thats a warning that he's going to ignore me. I don't quite feel like he's willing to put a lot of effort into the relationship and he's even acknowledged that I do most of the work yet seems to do nothing to balance it. I just started taking bc last month and it has made me moody and occasionally depressed so I find myself getting silently upset if he wont cuddle after sex or if he goes a day without texting me. I havent told him any of this cause I dont want to seem demanding or cling but I'm usually the one to initiate us seeing each other/ contact etc. I'm wondering if he really is into me or if he's just lazy and is with me because its convenient. For example I texted him about something important today and got a one word response...that wasn't even really a response... its been hours and nothing else. Is this normal this early on in the relationship or is it a sign of worse things to come? Or is my bc making me a crazy bitch? I cant ask my girlfriends cause they give horrible advice. I need a guy's opinion...

[Agape]

BUT he's also jokingly mean to me and I pretend it doesn't hurt but sometimes it makes me want to cry. He tells me to not get angry at him if he doesn't pay enough attention to me

Well he's your boyfriend so he should act like it and give you attention as his girlfriend . . . saying that isn't needy at all, it's normal

[Evalyn]

So then do I just tell him to pay more attention to me? I don't want me being his girlfriend to be a chore, but at the same time I would hope that if he actually liked me it would come naturally. :-X

[vashti]

Just break off with him. You don't have much time invested at all, so getting rid of him now will be easier than waiting until you have made yourself crazy trying to "fix" him. If he was really all that wild about you, he'd be more responsive - you aren't crazy.

[Agape]

So then do I just tell him to pay more attention to me? I don't want me being his girlfriend to be a chore, but at the same time I would hope that if he actually liked me it would come naturally. :-X

How old are you two and how long is this relationship? and how often do you see each other?

[Evalyn]

Mid 20's... we see eachother at least 3-4 times per week.

Been together a few months.

[vashti]

Try cutting back on the frequency of your interaction (if you are unwilling to give him the boot). It might help.

[Incognito]

Try to not be his f*ck buddy, since it seems that is what he's trying to turn you into. Any man who is truly into you will practically worship the ground you walk on, especially early in the relationship. This guy know he should be doing better, but has no interest in trying. He seems like a douche and you're still sleeping with him. No wonder he isn't changing or putting forth any effort. Please dump him and move on there are are plenty of better guys out there that will either treat you infinitely better or at least better than he is.

A side note: I hate when people who want attention in a relationship are categorized as "needy". When I hear that 90% of the time it is because the person making the accusation is not really "into" the relationship, and they want more freedom than they need or more than should be expected.

[jancsi]

I think, that the best for you would be just to talk to him. Tell him how you feel and how his responses are hurting you. If he is worthy, he will understand and make it right. If not, you will know for sure, he wasn't the right one for you

[msingell]

if its bad enough that it makes you want to cry, somethings wrong.

[girl68]

He's being lazy and won't change. He's always been like this, he's been dumped over this I suspect, he's even warned you not to do was ex gf's have done- get pissy when they're not given attention. He thinks that by warning you, you will be in the wrong not him. I say rid of him now...

[xxazurexx]

Why the hell are you still having sex with this prick?

He's using you! And that would be proven if you stopped having sex with him.

Sex won't keep him there either. He will be off like a shot and when the newness and novelty of 'you' wears off and the next piece of skirt glances at him.

[AlphaMan]

Why the hell are you still having sex with this prick?

He's using you! And that would be proven if you stopped having sex with him.

Sex won't keep him there either. He will be off like a shot and when the newness and novelty of 'you' wears off and the next piece of skirt glances at him.

Absolutely correct.

[YouAreBeautiful]

Evalyn the problem is your boyfriend has bad judgment and believes that people should accept his mean jokes as just jokes. If you aren't comfortable with mean jokes you don't have to put up with him. You need to tell him that it seriously bothers you and make him understand the severity of what he is doing. it's not ok for him to tell these jokes if you aren't ok with it. Be stern.